你我他
今天是七月三十日2008年，晴。
晚上在家没什么事做，思考年底《随艺》的表演，我应该编些什么？灵感都不在，结果选择拿《2007你我他》的录影来看。这还是我第一次以观众的角色来观看自己的作品。时间过去了，其实连我也不记得自己编了什么。结果今夜以观众的角色来看自己的作品，真的别有一番风味。
我第一次这么看这个作品才觉得：喔！这个作品真的是有深度，是经过深思设计的。。。
有这种感觉，连我自己都感到兴奋开心。因为以编导的角色来看自己的作品，当然知道自己的作品在讲什么。但是，过了一年，连我自己都忘了时，再来看这作品，仍发现这作品有深度，那种兴奋的感觉非笔墨可形容。
其中的舞蹈动作以及我编排的手语，我已经忘了那个MESSAGE 了，但还是感受到作品的深度及内涵，我真的对这作品感到满意。没有满分，因为我觉得自己的音乐手法还是算粗糙，但对于作品的构思以及编排，还算满意。
值得一提的是，当我作品中的舞蹈员在诠释那个MESSAGE时，他们出奇地整齐，给我这个观众一种很庄严，淡淡哀伤，一点愤世嫉俗的感觉----一种无声的反抗。那个感觉HIT到了！当然，舞蹈方面不整齐，但无所谓，因为我知道在窄小的空间跳舞，他们不习惯，亦不自然，所以没关系。
由于到了最后我仍想不起MESSAGE到底是什么，结果去翻查自己的文件，幸好我有储存在电脑里。哈哈！终于让我找到了。这个作品我真的觉得不错，有深度，有内涵，有讯息，结构也不错。
在这里，想对那些替这作品当舞蹈员的朋友说：“谢谢你们所有人！希望你们在过程中有所收获，亦希望你们仍喜欢（或有喜欢过）这作品。希望这作品在你们的回忆中留下脚步。因为，我忘了那个MESSAGE的手语了，我想我或许再排不出同样的作品了。这是我舞蹈生涯中，有别于我过往的作品。”
今天的心情还不错。。。。。。
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
执迷不悔
词/王菲 曲/袁惟仁
这一次我执著面对 任性地沉醉
我并不在乎 这是错还是对
就算是深陷 我不顾一切
就算是执迷~ 我也执迷不悔
别说我应该放弃 应该睁开眼
我用我的心 去看~去感觉
你并不是我 又怎能了解
就算是执迷~ 就让我执迷不悔
我不是你们想得如此完美
我承认有时也会辨不清真伪
并非我不愿意走出迷堆
只是这一次这次是我自己而不是谁
(Chorus)
要我用谁的心去体会
真真切切的感受周围
就算痛苦 就算是泪
也是属於我的伤悲
我还能用谁的心去体会
真真切切地感受周围
就算疲倦 就算是累只能执迷~而不悔
Dedicated to all the Ppl in the world who are in dilemma...
词/王菲 曲/袁惟仁
这一次我执著面对 任性地沉醉
我并不在乎 这是错还是对
就算是深陷 我不顾一切
就算是执迷~ 我也执迷不悔
别说我应该放弃 应该睁开眼
我用我的心 去看~去感觉
你并不是我 又怎能了解
就算是执迷~ 就让我执迷不悔
我不是你们想得如此完美
我承认有时也会辨不清真伪
并非我不愿意走出迷堆
只是这一次这次是我自己而不是谁
(Chorus)
要我用谁的心去体会
真真切切的感受周围
就算痛苦 就算是泪
也是属於我的伤悲
我还能用谁的心去体会
真真切切地感受周围
就算疲倦 就算是累只能执迷~而不悔
Dedicated to all the Ppl in the world who are in dilemma...
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
无题
今天突然心血来潮，突如其来想写一些东西。甚至想任性地牺牲自己的睡眠时间，只不过为了写一些看似没意义的篇章。
天空开始下起雨来，在一切空荡荡的生活里，时间继续流失。星空不再耀眼。
钢琴上的键盘，一黑一白，虽衬托了彼此，却无法融合在一起。
落叶飘落在残秋，淡淡萧索。秋风徐徐吹过，寒冷的冬天即将来临。
钢琴上的白玫瑰依然冷艳，却包含了浓浓的爱意。
在冬天里，雪花纷飞，在早晨的阳光下瞬间溶化。。。
当杯里的酒洒了出来，染红了白玫瑰
在过去的每一个季节里，我仍然没有忘记。。。
酒能消愁？借酒消愁，愁更愁。抽刀断水，水更流。
每个季节陆续过去，我仍在远处等待，等待一个不会出现的倩影。。。
泪水流向海，形成一片泪海
在等待的日子里，孤独寂寞不断在生命中徘徊。。。
泪海传来一波一波的旋律，形成悲哀恋歌
泪海传来一波一波的旋律，形成悲哀恋歌
徘徊在过去的记忆里，即使到了曲终人散的时候，我仍独自在街头。。。
岁月无情地流逝，事过境迁，我却仍留在煎熬的旋涡中。。。
耳边响起一首熟悉的歌：“爱是女尔眼里的一首情歌，轻扬着飘于旋律。。。。”
Sunday, July 13, 2008
前浪，后浪，中流砥柱
时间过得真快，转眼已是2008年，其实我也老大不小了。在过去的岁月里，我花了很多时间在舞蹈上，无奈因环境和生活的经济关系，我在舞蹈方面到今时今日还是一事无成。最近几年，我加倍的努力，却总是不得要领。或许真如KENNETH 所说，因为别人还年轻，所以他们不认真对待 “自己的兴趣”- “舞蹈，音乐等”，但是像我和他这种“老人”，要追求自己的兴趣的时间已所剩无几。他这几年来也是勤奋努力，而他的乐团的专辑也即将完成。而与他比较，我本人，在舞蹈界翻番滚滚了这么多年，始终一事无成。心寒。。。
最近，知道几个好朋友，也是越来越累，以往对舞蹈的热诚也逐渐褪去，究竟有什么可以让朋友再组织起来？或许这样东西已不存在，或许只剩下我这个老人，在用剩余的时间去追求自己的兴趣。。。但是，放弃是可悲的，我的人生已经够悲哀了，不想连追求兴趣的权利都没有。
从现在算起，我应该还剩五年的时间，亦是最后的挣扎了，因为我知道再过五年，环境会比现在更残，机会也会比现在少。
回顾过去，我一直是一个人，走在这舞蹈道路上。在2003年，机遇巧合之下，遇上了一批年轻人，舞蹈的道路还OK，但五年后的今天，大家都越来越忙，所以一切都不了了之。前浪已将逐渐退去，却不见后浪接踵而来。在过去的岁月里，犹如中流砥柱的我，跟不少代的舞者一起合作过，然而，这一次真的是“当前浪退去后，已再也见不到后浪”。人数，技巧，合作关系，团结性，对舞蹈的执着，一切都大不如前。。。连人数都已寥寥可数，其余更不足为论。
其实跟KENNETH比起来，我真的是毫无成就，仿佛这几年来都在原地踏步。。。
在剩余的岁月里，我应该做些什么呢？时间仿佛如流沙般从我手中流走。。。
时间过得真快，转眼已是2008年，其实我也老大不小了。在过去的岁月里，我花了很多时间在舞蹈上，无奈因环境和生活的经济关系，我在舞蹈方面到今时今日还是一事无成。最近几年，我加倍的努力，却总是不得要领。或许真如KENNETH 所说，因为别人还年轻，所以他们不认真对待 “自己的兴趣”- “舞蹈，音乐等”，但是像我和他这种“老人”，要追求自己的兴趣的时间已所剩无几。他这几年来也是勤奋努力，而他的乐团的专辑也即将完成。而与他比较，我本人，在舞蹈界翻番滚滚了这么多年，始终一事无成。心寒。。。
最近，知道几个好朋友，也是越来越累，以往对舞蹈的热诚也逐渐褪去，究竟有什么可以让朋友再组织起来？或许这样东西已不存在，或许只剩下我这个老人，在用剩余的时间去追求自己的兴趣。。。但是，放弃是可悲的，我的人生已经够悲哀了，不想连追求兴趣的权利都没有。
从现在算起，我应该还剩五年的时间，亦是最后的挣扎了，因为我知道再过五年，环境会比现在更残，机会也会比现在少。
回顾过去，我一直是一个人，走在这舞蹈道路上。在2003年，机遇巧合之下，遇上了一批年轻人，舞蹈的道路还OK，但五年后的今天，大家都越来越忙，所以一切都不了了之。前浪已将逐渐退去，却不见后浪接踵而来。在过去的岁月里，犹如中流砥柱的我，跟不少代的舞者一起合作过，然而，这一次真的是“当前浪退去后，已再也见不到后浪”。人数，技巧，合作关系，团结性，对舞蹈的执着，一切都大不如前。。。连人数都已寥寥可数，其余更不足为论。
其实跟KENNETH比起来，我真的是毫无成就，仿佛这几年来都在原地踏步。。。
在剩余的岁月里，我应该做些什么呢？时间仿佛如流沙般从我手中流走。。。
不知所措 等待
Sunday, July 06, 2008
A Fresh Start
Well, 1 year has passed and due to all the happenings in NDP 08, everything takes a new beginning.... Let's have a fresh start again, in Dance, and in Life/ Career....
After so much talk with Mr Low and others, decided to let it go, and let things have a new fresh start... Shall move on loh....
Let's carry on from here.... Time is 06-Jul-08, the last few weeks b4 NDP, and aft tt, all will end... =) Then shall resume the busy schedule i had along... Its fun planning for Samantha's Wedding...
This week although i on TOIL, but super lots of things to do ah...
To draft up the outline for Georgia & Mann Weng and still got to pass the disc to Sabrina, hopefully i can fork out time to meet her, that is....
To format my super lag laptop, i think muz revamp the whole laptop... Haizz...
Then the NDP Media Preview already take up 2 days of my time le,
not to mention on Wed i still gotta go back with Diana to client's place to work... Diaozz, can u imagine? Working when on TOIL? But bo bian, better do it this week if not next week when im back to work, i will have super lots of backlogs to clear... Nbz....
All in All, everything is a fresh start.... Let's finish all the stuff this week.... =)
Well, 1 year has passed and due to all the happenings in NDP 08, everything takes a new beginning.... Let's have a fresh start again, in Dance, and in Life/ Career....
After so much talk with Mr Low and others, decided to let it go, and let things have a new fresh start... Shall move on loh....
Let's carry on from here.... Time is 06-Jul-08, the last few weeks b4 NDP, and aft tt, all will end... =) Then shall resume the busy schedule i had along... Its fun planning for Samantha's Wedding...
This week although i on TOIL, but super lots of things to do ah...
To draft up the outline for Georgia & Mann Weng and still got to pass the disc to Sabrina, hopefully i can fork out time to meet her, that is....
To format my super lag laptop, i think muz revamp the whole laptop... Haizz...
Then the NDP Media Preview already take up 2 days of my time le,
not to mention on Wed i still gotta go back with Diana to client's place to work... Diaozz, can u imagine? Working when on TOIL? But bo bian, better do it this week if not next week when im back to work, i will have super lots of backlogs to clear... Nbz....
All in All, everything is a fresh start.... Let's finish all the stuff this week.... =)
Monday, June 02, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Dancing with Heart
Time is 25 May 2008. Well, this 1 week was really fruitful for me. If there is really Destiny, i thank you for giving me this opportunity for this 1 week of happenings. Im really happy this week, enjoyed myself alot, oso satisfied with myself for the end result. =)
Finally finished the dance project (16 May - 23 May 2008) with Mann Weng & Georgia, it was a fruitful project and i truly enjoyed myself. I oso dunno how this chance came abt but i sincerely thank Destiny for letting me meet this rare opportunity. =)
Actually it was really tiring for me thru out this wk to have to sweat it out for 5 hrs everyday but its really enjoyable. To be able to dance with them, its really damn fun. I have learnt much and understood even more than previously abt how things really work in the dance arena...
Contrary to what i saw outside regarding the enthusiasm of other dancers, whenever i look back at DIY, i feel really sad..... Ever since DI changed to DIY, nothing has improved much. Not tt we are not trying hard enough, juz tt cos ppl are all part-timers, yes i do understand. But then, its still disappointing actually but then unless we undergo an overhaul, i seriously dunno how to handle this appropriately yet. I definitely have my own methods & ideals but then DIY is not my troupe, so i shant fall into this pitfall and do everything i want. I shall juz play by ear and assist and help whoever needs my help. The rest of the ppl, is deemed non-existent.
Nvtheless, i will try my very best to continue dancing.... =)
I sincerely hope, wish, pray that more dance projects of similar nature will come along my way... Dancing with Heart.....
Frenz/ Readers out there who guessed or knew what dilemma i was in previously, this is it... Whether to take leave to do dance =) For frenz who really supported me thru out the entire course of action, thanx lots!!! Really thank you!!!
Time is 25 May 2008. Well, this 1 week was really fruitful for me. If there is really Destiny, i thank you for giving me this opportunity for this 1 week of happenings. Im really happy this week, enjoyed myself alot, oso satisfied with myself for the end result. =)
Finally finished the dance project (16 May - 23 May 2008) with Mann Weng & Georgia, it was a fruitful project and i truly enjoyed myself. I oso dunno how this chance came abt but i sincerely thank Destiny for letting me meet this rare opportunity. =)
Actually it was really tiring for me thru out this wk to have to sweat it out for 5 hrs everyday but its really enjoyable. To be able to dance with them, its really damn fun. I have learnt much and understood even more than previously abt how things really work in the dance arena...
Contrary to what i saw outside regarding the enthusiasm of other dancers, whenever i look back at DIY, i feel really sad..... Ever since DI changed to DIY, nothing has improved much. Not tt we are not trying hard enough, juz tt cos ppl are all part-timers, yes i do understand. But then, its still disappointing actually but then unless we undergo an overhaul, i seriously dunno how to handle this appropriately yet. I definitely have my own methods & ideals but then DIY is not my troupe, so i shant fall into this pitfall and do everything i want. I shall juz play by ear and assist and help whoever needs my help. The rest of the ppl, is deemed non-existent.
Nvtheless, i will try my very best to continue dancing.... =)
I sincerely hope, wish, pray that more dance projects of similar nature will come along my way... Dancing with Heart.....
Frenz/ Readers out there who guessed or knew what dilemma i was in previously, this is it... Whether to take leave to do dance =) For frenz who really supported me thru out the entire course of action, thanx lots!!! Really thank you!!!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
黑白之恋
白, 纯洁的象征,天使的代表色彩,具有光明的代表性。
黑，充满神秘感的色彩，黑暗使者/魔鬼的代表色彩，具有黑暗的代表性。
偏偏人类喜欢黑暗的一面，或许因为黑的神秘，黑的诱惑，黑带来的一种叛逆，与白的一种与众不同。
然而，我觉得黑与白搭配时却是世上最美的颜色（也可算完美的结合），亦是我个人的最爱。钢琴的黑白键盘，白色衬衫配搭黑色领带，黑色衬衫配搭白色领带，白纸黑字，甚至连太极图阴阳都有黑白的搭配。
白色的雪飘落在雪原上，遇到阳光随即溶化，让人感到温馨，一丝的遗憾美。
黑暗的苍穹，使得繁星点点的夜晚分外迷人。
雪白亮丽的肌肤，秀长柔顺的头发。
冰冷的双唇，一双漆黑却又亮如寒星的眼睛。
纯洁的爱情，随着不同层次的欲望以及不满足，逐渐染上黑色污点。
原本的罪恶，因一时的善念，黑色的纸张点染上白色的纯真。
充满愤世嫉俗的音乐，因钢琴声的洗涤，音调虽还是黯然，却变得柔和，带着惆怅哀伤，催人泪下。。。
黑暗的人会因某人所带来的光明，而照亮整个世界。
一杯纯净的水，若加了黑色染料，随即成了漆黑一团
黑色卡片，用白色字眼，总显得特别突出。
纯白之恋，会是我这辈子的最爱。。。。
天使与魔鬼，光明与黑暗，纯洁与神秘，我偏向哪一方呢？
白, 纯洁的象征,天使的代表色彩,具有光明的代表性。
黑，充满神秘感的色彩，黑暗使者/魔鬼的代表色彩，具有黑暗的代表性。
偏偏人类喜欢黑暗的一面，或许因为黑的神秘，黑的诱惑，黑带来的一种叛逆，与白的一种与众不同。
然而，我觉得黑与白搭配时却是世上最美的颜色（也可算完美的结合），亦是我个人的最爱。钢琴的黑白键盘，白色衬衫配搭黑色领带，黑色衬衫配搭白色领带，白纸黑字，甚至连太极图阴阳都有黑白的搭配。
白色的雪飘落在雪原上，遇到阳光随即溶化，让人感到温馨，一丝的遗憾美。
黑暗的苍穹，使得繁星点点的夜晚分外迷人。
雪白亮丽的肌肤，秀长柔顺的头发。
冰冷的双唇，一双漆黑却又亮如寒星的眼睛。
纯洁的爱情，随着不同层次的欲望以及不满足，逐渐染上黑色污点。
原本的罪恶，因一时的善念，黑色的纸张点染上白色的纯真。
充满愤世嫉俗的音乐，因钢琴声的洗涤，音调虽还是黯然，却变得柔和，带着惆怅哀伤，催人泪下。。。
黑暗的人会因某人所带来的光明，而照亮整个世界。
一杯纯净的水，若加了黑色染料，随即成了漆黑一团
黑色卡片，用白色字眼，总显得特别突出。
纯白之恋，会是我这辈子的最爱。。。。
天使与魔鬼，光明与黑暗，纯洁与神秘，我偏向哪一方呢？
Monday, April 14, 2008
Life in Singapore - Low period in My Life
Time now is 14-apr-08, on the low period in my life.... Had a talk with mother today, then she complained & cried abt Bro how come still doing tt MLM, and tt family income is at a real low now, lowest ever since the family started... And tt Father is an old man living on his remaining CPF for the next 30 yrs to come, so family savings is going rock bottom.
Was thinking thru all these and concluded, life in Singapore is getting F*** tough... My life has now hit a low period. Though one of the frenz (Yiming) has texted me, saying that we gotta hang on when its the low period, well honestly, my life has been in the low period since 2003, and is still there now. It has met with freaking many setbacks and here i am, still hanging in there.
Really tired, but will nv give up hanging there, cos giving up means i commit suicide to end my life. But then, I will nv commit suicide....
The quote from Takashi Sorimachi's GTO: To commit suicide is a coward's action, it takes more courage and strength to carry on living and go thru the setbacks. Hencewise, i F***ing will nv commit suicide. I only hope (everyday) tt I meet up with a car accident and suffer a fatal death. Not a partial paralyzed person pls... Anyway, all these are crap la...
Come to think of it, i oso dunno how i survived thru out the years. Since 2003, my life has hit a low and everytime i thought that it was the lowest, it nv was. It juz kept going on, and i keep pushing myself to carry on "on the pretext" that this is the worst le, nothing can be worst. And yet something worse comes along =(
After my enlightment trip from Taiwan in 06 with Weiming & Teddy, I came back a happy person. Even tt, it flunctuates ard a level slightly above depression level from 06-08, until NOW, when my company and me is at a standstill. So now Im risking all i have. Actually from a 3rd person's POV, im being too silly and unrealistic. But then, like i mentioned to Kenneth, In Singapore, there is 2 type of ppl; The ppl who choose the secure route; the ppl who choose the "deemed unrealistic" route by the society. So Im not making a "correct" decision, Im juz making my decision. In the end, may I be the one who suffer all the consequences.
Been mentally preparing myself for the disastrous consequences these days, i think life is such tt i cannot click with those secure ppl lah...
On a side note, Marcus Foo is leaving for America le, going there for auditions to enter US Dance Companies i think... but anyway all the best to him, afterall he is from a well-to-do family, so no harm trying when young, besides, he has the talent.
Many years have passed and i know many ppl in this world have given up their passion/interests in some way or another juz to secure life in Singapore. Han Qiang, Yonghao & gang, All my seniors from DI / NHSS, Mr Low (who is the best, managed to achieve a well-balanced 50%-50%), Even ppl like Weiyang's father. His father is a SWO in Armour, but who actually knows, he was ex-national team gymnast? U see, so many ppl ard gave up, which is the one stuborn reason why i dun want to fully give up. Im not going into it fully, juz wanna maintain a healthy % of tt in my life. Why is my job making it so F***ing hard for me?
My Life is so hard to control....
Dear frenz/ readers out there, if u are one of those who standby my decision no matter what i do; then this msg below is addressed to you =)
Thank you so much for believing in me, and choosing to ignore those "norm views" by the Society. Thanks to those who believe in my other talents, those who know tt i not only simply know Auditing & numbers....
Time now is 14-apr-08, on the low period in my life.... Had a talk with mother today, then she complained & cried abt Bro how come still doing tt MLM, and tt family income is at a real low now, lowest ever since the family started... And tt Father is an old man living on his remaining CPF for the next 30 yrs to come, so family savings is going rock bottom.
Was thinking thru all these and concluded, life in Singapore is getting F*** tough... My life has now hit a low period. Though one of the frenz (Yiming) has texted me, saying that we gotta hang on when its the low period, well honestly, my life has been in the low period since 2003, and is still there now. It has met with freaking many setbacks and here i am, still hanging in there.
Really tired, but will nv give up hanging there, cos giving up means i commit suicide to end my life. But then, I will nv commit suicide....
The quote from Takashi Sorimachi's GTO: To commit suicide is a coward's action, it takes more courage and strength to carry on living and go thru the setbacks. Hencewise, i F***ing will nv commit suicide. I only hope (everyday) tt I meet up with a car accident and suffer a fatal death. Not a partial paralyzed person pls... Anyway, all these are crap la...
Come to think of it, i oso dunno how i survived thru out the years. Since 2003, my life has hit a low and everytime i thought that it was the lowest, it nv was. It juz kept going on, and i keep pushing myself to carry on "on the pretext" that this is the worst le, nothing can be worst. And yet something worse comes along =(
After my enlightment trip from Taiwan in 06 with Weiming & Teddy, I came back a happy person. Even tt, it flunctuates ard a level slightly above depression level from 06-08, until NOW, when my company and me is at a standstill. So now Im risking all i have. Actually from a 3rd person's POV, im being too silly and unrealistic. But then, like i mentioned to Kenneth, In Singapore, there is 2 type of ppl; The ppl who choose the secure route; the ppl who choose the "deemed unrealistic" route by the society. So Im not making a "correct" decision, Im juz making my decision. In the end, may I be the one who suffer all the consequences.
Been mentally preparing myself for the disastrous consequences these days, i think life is such tt i cannot click with those secure ppl lah...
On a side note, Marcus Foo is leaving for America le, going there for auditions to enter US Dance Companies i think... but anyway all the best to him, afterall he is from a well-to-do family, so no harm trying when young, besides, he has the talent.
Many years have passed and i know many ppl in this world have given up their passion/interests in some way or another juz to secure life in Singapore. Han Qiang, Yonghao & gang, All my seniors from DI / NHSS, Mr Low (who is the best, managed to achieve a well-balanced 50%-50%), Even ppl like Weiyang's father. His father is a SWO in Armour, but who actually knows, he was ex-national team gymnast? U see, so many ppl ard gave up, which is the one stuborn reason why i dun want to fully give up. Im not going into it fully, juz wanna maintain a healthy % of tt in my life. Why is my job making it so F***ing hard for me?
My Life is so hard to control....
Dear frenz/ readers out there, if u are one of those who standby my decision no matter what i do; then this msg below is addressed to you =)
Thank you so much for believing in me, and choosing to ignore those "norm views" by the Society. Thanks to those who believe in my other talents, those who know tt i not only simply know Auditing & numbers....
End of Entry
Monday, April 07, 2008
Funeral Wake
Back from a Funeral Wake. Actually is Bao Shun Lao Shi's dad who passed away. Then almost the CDAA committee was there juz now, had a short chat, got to update some stuff regarding the Finance of CDAA, and any outstanding matters. After that, ppl left le...
Hence wise, here back i m at home, update some of my work. All i wish to say is: Tired & Fatigue.. Usually i dun blog abt everyday stuff in my blog cos i said, this is a paperless collection of my memories, so tt when im old and read back, i can relive my memories. I dun like to blog abt everyday trival stuff which has no meaning....
But i chose to blog today/ right now becos... The 2 things i wish to blog in this entry is juz:
1) Fatigue and Tiredness... If there are frenz out there, pls continue to support me, there is a need to carry on. Though NDP really take up too much time and resources, admin etc....
2) I Miss You.................
Im so tired, i wish to fall.....
Back from a Funeral Wake. Actually is Bao Shun Lao Shi's dad who passed away. Then almost the CDAA committee was there juz now, had a short chat, got to update some stuff regarding the Finance of CDAA, and any outstanding matters. After that, ppl left le...
Hence wise, here back i m at home, update some of my work. All i wish to say is: Tired & Fatigue.. Usually i dun blog abt everyday stuff in my blog cos i said, this is a paperless collection of my memories, so tt when im old and read back, i can relive my memories. I dun like to blog abt everyday trival stuff which has no meaning....
But i chose to blog today/ right now becos... The 2 things i wish to blog in this entry is juz:
1) Fatigue and Tiredness... If there are frenz out there, pls continue to support me, there is a need to carry on. Though NDP really take up too much time and resources, admin etc....
2) I Miss You.................
Im so tired, i wish to fall.....
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Busy Weekend
This weekend was the one with Good-Fri, so i had a long weekend. It was really busy and enjoyable. Thanx so much Sam for everything u organized. Well, i think Zhenyu/Sam mentioned tt we are getting old, hence less happening? Hmmm, i think it may be true but then less happening doesnt mean less enjoyable? i Still kinda enjoyed myself, the quietness, the clamness and most of all, the chance to get away from work.... (partially only la, in the end still end up working for a short while).
Juz returned from PA- DIY not long ago, wah piang the pracitice is really shiong.. shall continue this type of prac till we get back the stamina & skill. Then again, i wish tt the ppl there can work on their showmanship leh... but all these push back till the opportunity is right ba.... Ok, tml still gotta work so i shall stop blogging le, v tired..
But i still wish to say: This weekend was an enjoyable one for me..... Both the fri, sat & sun...
Thank you frenz out there, u all are really great!!!!
This weekend was the one with Good-Fri, so i had a long weekend. It was really busy and enjoyable. Thanx so much Sam for everything u organized. Well, i think Zhenyu/Sam mentioned tt we are getting old, hence less happening? Hmmm, i think it may be true but then less happening doesnt mean less enjoyable? i Still kinda enjoyed myself, the quietness, the clamness and most of all, the chance to get away from work.... (partially only la, in the end still end up working for a short while).
Juz returned from PA- DIY not long ago, wah piang the pracitice is really shiong.. shall continue this type of prac till we get back the stamina & skill. Then again, i wish tt the ppl there can work on their showmanship leh... but all these push back till the opportunity is right ba.... Ok, tml still gotta work so i shall stop blogging le, v tired..
But i still wish to say: This weekend was an enjoyable one for me..... Both the fri, sat & sun...
Thank you frenz out there, u all are really great!!!!
End of entry (1)
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Audit Peak...
Ha, guess what's the time now? N i just reached home, finished bathing... didnt feel like sleeping anyway abt 3 hrs later i gotta wake up go work again... This is life of an auditor la.... Though i not everyday work till this late but yup, this is the type of life i'll have to live with for the next few years....=(
So quiet at this moment, the wind breezes pass my room, im listening to my blog song... Everything seems so peaceful... Its really nice, too bad it gonna end in 3 hrs where i gotta work again, and the working life starts once again, with no rest for ppl till u drop sick.. Which i really saw so many of my colleagues take sick leave and try to siam the peak. Anyway, its no use la, the best is to use Reservist to siam the peak... Confirmed can one, cos private sector dun dare to go against government anyway... =p
Life's hard but then again, cos i work so late, i return home late, i witness the quietness and peace of the midnight... So cold, i yearn for a hug....
Ha, guess what's the time now? N i just reached home, finished bathing... didnt feel like sleeping anyway abt 3 hrs later i gotta wake up go work again... This is life of an auditor la.... Though i not everyday work till this late but yup, this is the type of life i'll have to live with for the next few years....=(
So quiet at this moment, the wind breezes pass my room, im listening to my blog song... Everything seems so peaceful... Its really nice, too bad it gonna end in 3 hrs where i gotta work again, and the working life starts once again, with no rest for ppl till u drop sick.. Which i really saw so many of my colleagues take sick leave and try to siam the peak. Anyway, its no use la, the best is to use Reservist to siam the peak... Confirmed can one, cos private sector dun dare to go against government anyway... =p
Life's hard but then again, cos i work so late, i return home late, i witness the quietness and peace of the midnight... So cold, i yearn for a hug....
Late night
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
ICONS - Look back
Finally finished this performance after 6 mths.. Phew.... Cant imagine how i went thru tt.
It was a good experience, made me looked clearly at professional artists, the way they work, their feelings, attitude, stuborness towards arts, their vision and ideals etc. It was much like Lao Jiu back in 2005 but it was more, cos this time my role was more than tt in Lao Jiu so i was expected to turn up for more practices, it was 5-6 days a week lor... Damn freaking shiong, after work muz go for practices, and to think tt i dislocated my elbow then, which eventually resulted me in not able to turn up for practices. Then my role was taken over by Andy Cai (of Soul Fusion). But this one really muz hand it to him, he does the steps so much better than me.... =)
Anyway, let's talk abt the experience this time. This let me witness the artisitic attitude of professional artists with 100% artistic vision and no regards of audience. This was much more than TTP's Lao Jiu, cos Lao Jiu was a musical, hence it cared abt the audience, this time this performance totally bo chap the audience. I think Art is really something ppl give their lives to?
The ppl i work with are totally professional from head to toe and tt they were so different from DIY ppl. But then, becos everyone of them is so zai, tt certain attitude hinders us from dancing together. The Zhen Qi Du was poor, really poor.
This experience really made me a better person, in terms of experience, technique, mental strength and lastly..... Enlightment abt the arena of Dance (at least in Singapore). Its an experience being able to dance with members from Soul Fusion, Platinum, students & even teachers from La Selle, NAFA... I was totally immersed into another world, of cos me being the lousiest... But then, i saw the other side of the world in Singapore.... Enlighement was what i gained most out of this performance and lengthy rehearsal duration of 6 mths.
Enlightment:
Artists can do anything, willing to pay any price juz to do the things they want.
Artists work super duper hard, physically, mentally and intellectually....
Amidst the dance, many a times artists forget why they are dancing, and what they are dancing for....
Life is short, especially more so for Dance Artistes.
The apprentices/ protege of Mr Low dunno how Lucky & fortunate they really are. Unfortunate that they nv in the least bit realize/unleash their potential to advance in the careers...
Towards the end of the perf, i was really happy, quite happy tt i went thru the tough times with these dancers, there was really a feeling of relief & happiness. Whatsmore, being in Drama Centre again brings me memories of the past in 2005 when Lao Jiu was screened. Ironically, back then i was injured too, by Yongxuan, haha a kick in the ribcage. Then this time, a dislocated elbow. Seems like me and Drama Centre no fate..... Haizz.....=p
After all these, i had a clearer look at the Singapore Dance arena, oso know the direction tt DIY is heading/ should be heading.. I will always try my best to assist Lao Shi now tt i understand even clearer e rationale for his ideals/ artistic vision etc.
If any DIY members chance upon my blog and read this entry, please offer your assistance (in any way) to me.... I believe tt DIY really needs you all to be able to make it, otherwise will really CMI one....
As long as some1 is willing to help, Im really appreciative...
How many ppl will offer their assistance to DIY i wonder?
When will DIY make it? DIY is need of committed dancers......
Finally finished this performance after 6 mths.. Phew.... Cant imagine how i went thru tt.
It was a good experience, made me looked clearly at professional artists, the way they work, their feelings, attitude, stuborness towards arts, their vision and ideals etc. It was much like Lao Jiu back in 2005 but it was more, cos this time my role was more than tt in Lao Jiu so i was expected to turn up for more practices, it was 5-6 days a week lor... Damn freaking shiong, after work muz go for practices, and to think tt i dislocated my elbow then, which eventually resulted me in not able to turn up for practices. Then my role was taken over by Andy Cai (of Soul Fusion). But this one really muz hand it to him, he does the steps so much better than me.... =)
Anyway, let's talk abt the experience this time. This let me witness the artisitic attitude of professional artists with 100% artistic vision and no regards of audience. This was much more than TTP's Lao Jiu, cos Lao Jiu was a musical, hence it cared abt the audience, this time this performance totally bo chap the audience. I think Art is really something ppl give their lives to?
The ppl i work with are totally professional from head to toe and tt they were so different from DIY ppl. But then, becos everyone of them is so zai, tt certain attitude hinders us from dancing together. The Zhen Qi Du was poor, really poor.
This experience really made me a better person, in terms of experience, technique, mental strength and lastly..... Enlightment abt the arena of Dance (at least in Singapore). Its an experience being able to dance with members from Soul Fusion, Platinum, students & even teachers from La Selle, NAFA... I was totally immersed into another world, of cos me being the lousiest... But then, i saw the other side of the world in Singapore.... Enlighement was what i gained most out of this performance and lengthy rehearsal duration of 6 mths.
Enlightment:
Artists can do anything, willing to pay any price juz to do the things they want.
Artists work super duper hard, physically, mentally and intellectually....
Amidst the dance, many a times artists forget why they are dancing, and what they are dancing for....
Life is short, especially more so for Dance Artistes.
The apprentices/ protege of Mr Low dunno how Lucky & fortunate they really are. Unfortunate that they nv in the least bit realize/unleash their potential to advance in the careers...
Towards the end of the perf, i was really happy, quite happy tt i went thru the tough times with these dancers, there was really a feeling of relief & happiness. Whatsmore, being in Drama Centre again brings me memories of the past in 2005 when Lao Jiu was screened. Ironically, back then i was injured too, by Yongxuan, haha a kick in the ribcage. Then this time, a dislocated elbow. Seems like me and Drama Centre no fate..... Haizz.....=p
After all these, i had a clearer look at the Singapore Dance arena, oso know the direction tt DIY is heading/ should be heading.. I will always try my best to assist Lao Shi now tt i understand even clearer e rationale for his ideals/ artistic vision etc.
If any DIY members chance upon my blog and read this entry, please offer your assistance (in any way) to me.... I believe tt DIY really needs you all to be able to make it, otherwise will really CMI one....
As long as some1 is willing to help, Im really appreciative...
How many ppl will offer their assistance to DIY i wonder?
When will DIY make it? DIY is need of committed dancers......
Mixed Feelings....
Zhongyi with Dance
Thursday, February 14, 2008
残 - ZAN
这个字现在真的跟我很贴近。除了前途看来一片茫然，爱情一片空白，更贴近的是所有的旧伤。真的很 sian，已经过了大概四个月，右手还是没有好起来。之前好像还 okay，但是最近竟然痛起来。连提起电脑一阵子就会痛，damn shit.... =( 更混蛋的是，可能这些日子粗活都用左手，结果左手的负担可能过重，现在左手也痛。抑或当时双手都有受伤，但左手比较轻伤，这时一直用左手，使到左手和右手的同一的位置也痛。Cui..... Damn cui... Both hands gone...
然后肩膀也是一直僵硬，可能因为天气，所以风湿，所以肩膀也给我问题。。。Damn Shit... Both arms gone, and i can dun need dance liao... F***...
Anyway, today blog this entry is just because the word 残 gave me some 灵感。People always say must 残而不废, I think i gotta think abt how to make myself 残而不废 liao, since im so close to being 残. Started blogging this entry as i was listening to Dir en Grey's song - ZAN, which literally means 残 in Japanese. So yup, Both arms' elbows giving me probs, my shoulders dun belong to me, and there.....
The feeling of 残 feels to close to me, both literally and figuratively...
Sian...
这个字现在真的跟我很贴近。除了前途看来一片茫然，爱情一片空白，更贴近的是所有的旧伤。真的很 sian，已经过了大概四个月，右手还是没有好起来。之前好像还 okay，但是最近竟然痛起来。连提起电脑一阵子就会痛，damn shit.... =( 更混蛋的是，可能这些日子粗活都用左手，结果左手的负担可能过重，现在左手也痛。抑或当时双手都有受伤，但左手比较轻伤，这时一直用左手，使到左手和右手的同一的位置也痛。Cui..... Damn cui... Both hands gone...
然后肩膀也是一直僵硬，可能因为天气，所以风湿，所以肩膀也给我问题。。。Damn Shit... Both arms gone, and i can dun need dance liao... F***...
Anyway, today blog this entry is just because the word 残 gave me some 灵感。People always say must 残而不废, I think i gotta think abt how to make myself 残而不废 liao, since im so close to being 残. Started blogging this entry as i was listening to Dir en Grey's song - ZAN, which literally means 残 in Japanese. So yup, Both arms' elbows giving me probs, my shoulders dun belong to me, and there.....
The feeling of 残 feels to close to me, both literally and figuratively...
Sian...
ZAN
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
1st Entry in 2008
Today is my 1st entry in 2008, didnt blog much in 2007 i guess? at least for essays, it was a total minimum. 1st entry in 2008 what shld i blog abt? Well, actually my life is quite messed-up now, i dunno what to do, its piling on me as the days go by... Getting difficulty in breathing each and every moment... Really v worn out, getting more tired as the days pass...
Perhaps i have nv known tt living as an adult can be so tiring & difficult ba? Life is hard, its painful and work is piling... I lost direction in life, both in work and dance... How to carry on from here?
Enough of moody entries, I juz wish to let off some steam. Cant believe tt actually a wrong job can bring abt an unhappy life... =( It's really kinda draining on my life.... Currently what can still keep me going to work is only when i work with these few ppl whom i would like to mention in my blog.... Kaitlyn Ong, Stacey Goh, Vivian Neo, Zhengxin, Ziqian, Rachel Yong, Lee Ping... Imagine in my company so big, i only have these few ppl whom i consider friendly to me? Of cos there are also some nice seniors ard but perhaps they juz treat me as working colleagues so ya... Something is v wrong.... Sigh....
Kinda respect my parents alot more now tt i know what sh** they been thru in the past 30 yrs perhaps? I believe working conditions & life is much more simpler in the past due to the upbringing of ppl but nvtheless, i believe they still suffer from office politics so ya, the fact tt they can endure 30 odd years makes it so admirable.... I oso dunno how long i can survive... Dun wish to think abt it.... Sianz...
Today is my 1st entry in 2008, didnt blog much in 2007 i guess? at least for essays, it was a total minimum. 1st entry in 2008 what shld i blog abt? Well, actually my life is quite messed-up now, i dunno what to do, its piling on me as the days go by... Getting difficulty in breathing each and every moment... Really v worn out, getting more tired as the days pass...
Perhaps i have nv known tt living as an adult can be so tiring & difficult ba? Life is hard, its painful and work is piling... I lost direction in life, both in work and dance... How to carry on from here?
Enough of moody entries, I juz wish to let off some steam. Cant believe tt actually a wrong job can bring abt an unhappy life... =( It's really kinda draining on my life.... Currently what can still keep me going to work is only when i work with these few ppl whom i would like to mention in my blog.... Kaitlyn Ong, Stacey Goh, Vivian Neo, Zhengxin, Ziqian, Rachel Yong, Lee Ping... Imagine in my company so big, i only have these few ppl whom i consider friendly to me? Of cos there are also some nice seniors ard but perhaps they juz treat me as working colleagues so ya... Something is v wrong.... Sigh....
Kinda respect my parents alot more now tt i know what sh** they been thru in the past 30 yrs perhaps? I believe working conditions & life is much more simpler in the past due to the upbringing of ppl but nvtheless, i believe they still suffer from office politics so ya, the fact tt they can endure 30 odd years makes it so admirable.... I oso dunno how long i can survive... Dun wish to think abt it.... Sianz...
End of entry
孤寂心碎
Sunday, December 23, 2007
距离也是一种美
滴答滴答。。。细雨绵绵而下，犹如那绵绵不断的思念。相见时难别亦难，我真的不知如何面对你。思念紧紧纠缠着我的思绪，想见你，但又不希望因我不定的情绪引起不必要的争执。“你是否感受到我所受的煎熬？”不安的情绪使我无法全心全意地面对你，却又不愿让你伤心。。。
我曾说过：“得不到的东西永远是最好的。”我希望在你眼里的我永远是完美无瑕的，因此才不想见你，以免引起争执或负面的情绪。或许你会误会我不在乎你，其实因我在乎与你在一起，所以完美主义的我才不希望我们的爱情有任何瑕疵。情到浓时情转薄，距离也是一种美。。。
生病的时候感情特别地敏感与脆弱，一件微小的事物可以在心中掀起惊涛骇浪，所有的感觉似乎都被放大了。生病时是很矛盾的。一方面希望有人嘘寒问暖，能细心地喂你吃粥吃药。另一方面却不愿别人看见自己的脆弱，所以要表现得更加坚强，事事亲力亲为。
遥远的他是否听得到我的心声？他是否依旧是最懂我的人？不是每个人都能感应“距离也是一种美”，他呢？Dear, 我渴望你感应得到。。。我内心深处所承受的煎熬，还有加上病魔带给我的痛，早已使我身心交瘁，疲惫不堪。
一丝丝的思念在这时像是一根弦，联系着两人的心。这根悬挂着的弦是否会像断了线的风筝？
滴答滴答滴答，遥远的他在雨中淋湿了--- 仿佛一直在不远处，等待着魂牵梦萦的那个她。。。
滴答滴答。。。细雨绵绵而下，犹如那绵绵不断的思念。相见时难别亦难，我真的不知如何面对你。思念紧紧纠缠着我的思绪，想见你，但又不希望因我不定的情绪引起不必要的争执。“你是否感受到我所受的煎熬？”不安的情绪使我无法全心全意地面对你，却又不愿让你伤心。。。
我曾说过：“得不到的东西永远是最好的。”我希望在你眼里的我永远是完美无瑕的，因此才不想见你，以免引起争执或负面的情绪。或许你会误会我不在乎你，其实因我在乎与你在一起，所以完美主义的我才不希望我们的爱情有任何瑕疵。情到浓时情转薄，距离也是一种美。。。
生病的时候感情特别地敏感与脆弱，一件微小的事物可以在心中掀起惊涛骇浪，所有的感觉似乎都被放大了。生病时是很矛盾的。一方面希望有人嘘寒问暖，能细心地喂你吃粥吃药。另一方面却不愿别人看见自己的脆弱，所以要表现得更加坚强，事事亲力亲为。
遥远的他是否听得到我的心声？他是否依旧是最懂我的人？不是每个人都能感应“距离也是一种美”，他呢？Dear, 我渴望你感应得到。。。我内心深处所承受的煎熬，还有加上病魔带给我的痛，早已使我身心交瘁，疲惫不堪。
一丝丝的思念在这时像是一根弦，联系着两人的心。这根悬挂着的弦是否会像断了线的风筝？
滴答滴答滴答，遥远的他在雨中淋湿了--- 仿佛一直在不远处，等待着魂牵梦萦的那个她。。。
Endless Rain
Endless Thoughts
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
遥远的她
夜阑人静的时候，一个身影依偎在窗边，隐隐透出丝丝的遗憾。冷风无情地刮过，心中的死灰依旧没有复燃。苍白的脸庞，那消瘦的身影，带着一丝遗憾美，在风中摇摆着。不论时间过了多久，秒针不停地转动，还是不见她的倩影。那熟悉的倩影如今显得很遥远，两人的频率是否有偏差？这是否在试试这份爱的真与假？
遥遥万里，两人的距离不知能否经得起时间的考验？转眼之间，两年已过去，他只是日益消瘦，深深被寂寞缠绕着。黑暗的人生，再也感受不到阳光的光与热，遗留下来的只是阵阵的冷风，狠狠地吹打这饥渴的心灵。空虚的心灵，除了遥远的她，还有谁能够将其填满？
遥遥万里，心声是否有偏差？痴痴地在窗边等待，夜夜任由风吹雨打，只为听到她借风声倾诉。“对不起，我真的从来没有想过伤害你，我只愿你会幸福。至于幸福是否来自于我，这一切不重要。”那颗冻结的心是否夏融冬冰？热情若没变，那管它沧桑变化。。。
遥远的她，再也见不着了，伊人却连在梦中都想着抱紧她。在人群中寻寻觅觅，依旧没有答案。平日的不闻不问是否是伪装？其实他的世界只有单一颜色，仿佛患上了全色盲症，而她恰恰是他的唯一色彩。如今遥遥万里，再也等不到她的出现，随着时间的洗礼，心心相印的频率逐渐会出现偏差。人，依旧依偎在窗边，大雨倾盆而下，淋湿了他，亦似浇熄了心中的死灰。
但，热情并没变，那管它沧桑变化。。。
As I sit by the window, writing this song, the Rain outside continues. When I have finished this song, the love still lies in my heart, unfinished..... I lay on my bed, thinking of you...... Yet there, you will no longer be.....
夜阑人静的时候，一个身影依偎在窗边，隐隐透出丝丝的遗憾。冷风无情地刮过，心中的死灰依旧没有复燃。苍白的脸庞，那消瘦的身影，带着一丝遗憾美，在风中摇摆着。不论时间过了多久，秒针不停地转动，还是不见她的倩影。那熟悉的倩影如今显得很遥远，两人的频率是否有偏差？这是否在试试这份爱的真与假？
遥遥万里，两人的距离不知能否经得起时间的考验？转眼之间，两年已过去，他只是日益消瘦，深深被寂寞缠绕着。黑暗的人生，再也感受不到阳光的光与热，遗留下来的只是阵阵的冷风，狠狠地吹打这饥渴的心灵。空虚的心灵，除了遥远的她，还有谁能够将其填满？
遥遥万里，心声是否有偏差？痴痴地在窗边等待，夜夜任由风吹雨打，只为听到她借风声倾诉。“对不起，我真的从来没有想过伤害你，我只愿你会幸福。至于幸福是否来自于我，这一切不重要。”那颗冻结的心是否夏融冬冰？热情若没变，那管它沧桑变化。。。
遥远的她，再也见不着了，伊人却连在梦中都想着抱紧她。在人群中寻寻觅觅，依旧没有答案。平日的不闻不问是否是伪装？其实他的世界只有单一颜色，仿佛患上了全色盲症，而她恰恰是他的唯一色彩。如今遥遥万里，再也等不到她的出现，随着时间的洗礼，心心相印的频率逐渐会出现偏差。人，依旧依偎在窗边，大雨倾盆而下，淋湿了他，亦似浇熄了心中的死灰。
但，热情并没变，那管它沧桑变化。。。
As I sit by the window, writing this song, the Rain outside continues. When I have finished this song, the love still lies in my heart, unfinished..... I lay on my bed, thinking of you...... Yet there, you will no longer be.....
End
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