Injured once again, Lost in Faith

Well, recently at home, ppl who know it already, hi, i dislocated my elbow. Well, the incident as to why it happened i dun wish to go into details. The summary is due to some choreographed dance steps with other ppl, they "threw" me onto the floor, which i fell, the force was great and there, i dislocated my right elbow. As it happened too fast, i dunno & dun wish to go into detail whether it was intentional or not, after all, it wont make me recover anyway.

What i sincerely felt in this whole thing is tt I lost faith in the "Almighty Being", I.E whoever is up there, be it God or whatsoever. Why is it Destiny always makes it so hard for me? I simply wish to work hard and dance, and i end up with multiple injuries everywhere. Why cant i be allowed to just work hard and excel? Im juz being hardworking, believing that putting in effort will lead to returns (Im not talking abt proportionate returns). Even if returns are less, as long as they are positive, its ok. But now, I getting negative returns. In fact, after my recovery, i haf to train back my strength, afterwhich is then the improving. So basically everything is back to square one. I believe i will need abt 1 yr to get back everything i lost...

Amidst all these, I will lose flexibility too, which will take donkey of years and PAIN to train back... Tt's the most shitty thing. Next, There will be vitiating factors such as my damn job occupying most of my time in life, leaving me with minimal time to train back my well-being. Come on la, If i haf to work till 3 am everyday, what makes u think tt i will haf time to stretch, warm up and do physiotheraphy training? F*** It!!!

Life sucks at this point of time. As age catches up with me, It's already v hard to keep up the normal training to maintain my physical agility, not to mention Freaking injuries juz bump into my life and make things worse. Life is such, i am doomed and condemned nv to be a dancer. F*** it.... =(

I sincerely lose faith, as life is giving me negative returns when i put in hard work....=(

Unknown, Despair, Alost

The End

Music can change moods

Well, time is 11pm 6 Oct 2007. Got lots of things to be busy with. Basically I have burdens from CDAA, asking me to organize Anyhow Arts & Dance in Unity, which is a freaking CMI thing, i feel. Then i have my audit jobs, coming in will be big assignments next week. And i have rehearsals from MI Arts even on weekdays. Last but not least, every sunday i gotta rush for 3 dance places. Ballet, PA, MI.

This is damn pressurising, but the worst is the CDAA thingy. Cos honestly, CDAA is not something i wanted and it should haf been something tt haf closed down long ago. All the ppl in it are tired, they oso haf their own stuff to be busy with, their passion is long gone, they are not comfortable with working with one another, so why?? I seriously think why hang on to this association if they no longer feel its essential? Can it be done in a more gentlemen way? Simply juz declare tt every1 is tired, henceforth, decide to close the assoc. It will as simple as that. Dun keep complaining & refusing to pump in effort for the assoc.

Its super tiring and im worn out. But still the world continues revolving.
Well, enough for complaining. Let's go into today's topic. Music. It really can change a person's mood. Due to Juncheng's intro, I have once again gone back into X Japan Music. Yoshiki's piano pieces are really good, and im once again visiting X Japan, Luna Sea, Dir en Grey, Glay, Larc en Ciel old pieces. Those bands which r still intact today haf evolved into diff styles, but i still stick to their old styles, basically the visual rock style in the 80s & 90s. Aft 1999, Jrock declined and survivng bands move into diff bandwidths. Eg. Dir en Grey is still intact & i would say they are still super good today, in fact haf achieved international fame. But i still prefer their old style of music - the style influenced by X Japan.

Music really works wonders. Listening to X Japan pieces, really appeal to the dark side of my moods. Thanks so much to e music, it helps to relieve stress. The thing i like abt e Past Jrock music is tt it releases dark energy in a classical way, not like punk rock or heavy metal. It's rock with lots of technical skills needed and combined with orchestra instruments to release a dark, yet classical energy. In Kpop, there is only 1 person who can do tt, Moon Hee Jun. Simply listen to Outside Castle by H.O.T and u will get wat im saying. Dark Energy coupled with classical feel. In fact, Outside Castle is already v pop. Aft Hee Jun went into his solos, his music took a different turn and he has managed to combine rock with classical, releasing a unique sorrowful feel in his music. Talented.

Yoshiki now writes music for UK Violet etc and his lyrics and music are getting darker. Its good but UK Violet is not as technical as X Japan, hence the classical feel is not up to mark. So from rock, we move on to classical & orchestra. This brings me to Yoshiki's album, Eternal Melody II. I have an entry entirely written abt this album i think, but i shan't dwell on it. From Yoshiki, we move on to orchestra, and here i m with a French Musician, Yann Tiersen. Another talented musician with extremely good music. Imagine Korean B-boy crew, Expressions, used his music to do breakdance? A 9 min presentation, totally using Yann Tiersen's classical & orchestra music. Woah!!!! =)

Well, typing an entry all abt these musicians seems boring to my readers. But honestly, if u would just go listen to some of the artists whom i intro, read their lyrics, listen to their music, u will get a v diff feel from the normal poppish music u hear everyday.... Well till next time, I think i will dedicate another entry to all my favourite music artists/ musicians.

Music is Soul