Adulthood/ An entry written in honour of frenz

This entry is written when i was 21, the scenario is when i stepped in as a dance instructor when i can be held liable 4 everything i say... Since i m no more a student liao, whatever i say carries weight liao..

Adulthood is v tiring, i can no longer return to the dayz where as a student i can juz comment abt anything & juz shoot my mouth off cos my words wont be spread & distorted.. Even if they were, ppl would juz write it off, anyway it was juz a comment by a young immature student... But now, no more this type of privileage... Adults will take my words seriously, kids i dunno lah.. So whatever i say i can be held liable for it, thus it's so tiring to always think thru & be cautious with every single word i use/ how i phrase my sentence... Then when ppl talk to me, they think: what Zhongyi thinking? how come ans 1 question need so long? Of course long lah, wah lau every single word oso muz use properly, even if cant think of the most suitable word, then b4 i speak my mind, i still gotta think of a sentence to act as a disclaimer/clause... This thinking process comfirm take some time one mah...
Really v tired leh, i mean... Everytime i speak, i gotta be wary of the person i speaking to, whether they will backstab me & go ard telling ppl other stuff, & distorting my words or not.. Wah, wary of ppl is really quite tiring.. But i guess this is the price of adulthood.. Ur words do carry some weight, at least to adults lah..

Being so tired everyday, i sincerely think tt only when i being with frenz, i can be most at ease...
It's like being with close frenz, we can anyhow talk, dun need think so much, at most apologise & laugh it off, & we r still frenz... Even if really haf to think, I dun haf to take so long, no need to think so much... Isn't tt more carefree?
Close frenz means close frenz lor, even if offended, we forgive & forget v easily..
i can juz speak my mind off in front of my frenz cos they take it to offence so much, even if we point out one another's short comings, nobody will be extremely angry, & on top of tt, we as frenz pointing out each other's short comings, not in hope tt our frenz will change...
Yes, i mean it...
At least i do not expect my frenz to change, i accept them 4 who they r, i juz ask them to be cautious, dun later ppl make use of tt short coming to back stab them.. It's juz a caution only...

I myself oso a little stuborn, i dun change easily, hence i dun expect my frenz to change as well, it's juz during dinner, we crap ard abt each other...
Eg. I can say it out w/o thinking: Sam do things a bit too emotional sometimes, Daryl sometimes easily agitated, Kai wei do things always too relac, Zhenyu sometimes easily under alcohol influence.. I really sincerely feel tt i can tell this in front of them, they wont be offended, Tt's y only with frenz i can dun need think so much when talking...
But if i tell this to a kid, i can imagine the msg will be distorted until something like tt: Zhongyi said Sam is a +X+0**^$%, he dun like him, be frenz with him is juz fake one, blah blah blah, the story goes on...

Hence, how can i be not wary when talking to ppl? But then i get so tired every now & then, it's really mentally exhausting.. I feel v drained everytime at the end of a day.. Even in uni/ teaching dance lessons, even in DI when speaking to selected ppl etc... Only with close frenz, like eating dinner in cafe then i can speak my mind w/o the worry of being held liable for what i said.. Oso no worries tt the msg will get distorted... It's such a relief...

Adulthood really has a price to pay, words tt come out of the mouth muz be really filtered properly b4 delivered.. If not, trouble comes your way...
So, all in all, i sincerely thank for all the times i haf spent with frenz crapping ard here & there... To them, it may be juz a chat over dinner.. To me however, it was really a time for mental relaxation.. No worries 4 potential liabilities..

Adulthood is so stressful, & yet i c kids ard who dun cherish/appreciate what they haf...
An entry in honour of frenz.....
This topic will comfirm carry on someday when i meet similar scenarios again....

End of entry

Horoscope says:

Time is 30 June'05... 2005 is sometime since i re-joined DI in 2003 aft commission.. Though seems to be like 2 yrs only, but DI has changed alot, so much so tt i find it v hard to accept...
Though i always say dance with new batches i can haf new exp but i sincerely think this depends on how open/mature these new batches think... Seriously becos i getting older & older as the days goes by, but those new batches tt come in r always sec sch students, so the age gap gets bigger & bigger as years goes by... N more senior ppl like those in JC/Poly/Uni r getting fewer & fewer as the days goes by...
This makes me v tired actually...

Its not tt new batches not good but really depends on how open they r to ppl like me who r so much older than them... Do a recount: Since 2003, i danced with Kai wei they all initially, then in Wu Ju3, i got the chance to cooperate with Sam's & Jen Wei's batch, the 87/88 batch.. Similarly to CGS, i danced with Shi hui & even Simin/ Pei yi tt batch, oso 87/88 lah... All these changes were considered new & interesting to me, cos although they were like younger than me, they r open to my views.. As although in dancing i KBKB here & there, but aft tt, they can accept it & forget abt it.. Wu Ju3 was such an enjoyable exp & such a success... So the key factor is not how much younger than me they r, but how open/mature they r...

Then comes another change when almost everything settled down, was those ppl who came during Chingay'05 prac.. Ppl like Shi hui, Pei yi they all(many of those in Wu Ju3 & He Wu Gong Ming '04) left, new ppl came in.. This one nothing much, cos too big grp v hard to gel as one mah...

But whats left aft tt? Aft Chingay comes this NKF thingy...
Recall scenario: Tanglin dance ppl + CGS Dance + NHDS ppl + DI dancers combine in one item..
So these type of perf recently in 2005, regardless NDP/NKF made Mr Low v angry, so i seriously wanted to do lots of things b4 hand as prevention.. But again i was told not to interfere too much...
So now whats the issue? Issue is 2005 this yr, DI has changed so much, it made Mr Low so angry almost every prac, which makes it no diff from a sec sch i think... I mean, sec sch students make Mr Low angry i can understand cos there is bount to haf black sheep in the ECA, BUT DI is a place where ppl join willingly, so i assume every1 should be more auto/enthu/passionate/ hardworking? But why did it turn out otherwise?

I m very disappointed, v sad...
So the topic today abt Horoscope says is becos i read these sort of readings recently abt my life... Some of these r as follows:

Some1's itching 4 a fight, and since u know u could win handily, it's a little bit tempting. Be warned, however: It could get uglier than u expect. Be diplomatic & conciliatory

U're grabbing onto something, but u of all ppl should know tt this is when things get squirmy and weird. Loosen tt grip b4 it's too late.

These horoscope readings were taken from Straits Times Life, i read them everyday as a guide for my everyday life. Eg. If it says i easy to quarrel with some1 today, i try my best to go avoid, so its juz a guide.. Recently, kept reading these sort of comments mentioned above.. i know lah, alot of ppl surely itching 4 a fight with Zhongyi one mah, during prac i KBKB so much at them... Esp the part on grabbing onto something, the thing i presume is 'standard of perf'? I expect a standard out of their reach thus made many unhappy? So alot of ppl itching 4 a fight? Dunno, maybe...

The issue is tt DI changed so much, it irritated Mr Low tt he threatened to disband DI.. Pls lah, those ppl dun wanna dance properly one, or come here juz to play/ hope to perf juz becos can go Mediacorp, pls leave... I v scared he really disband DI, den i v sad liao, wanna dance oso no where to go... I haf been in DI since 1998 perhaps? Used to haf prac in Rochor CC at bugis junction there... The CC was demolished... Then moved on to PA.. Den i go Army, when i came back it was at BV CC liao...

Now, DI has changed so much, i dunno how to face it... Not tt i wanna manage the entire troupe but can ppl dun push the limit to the extreme until DI really disbanded.. Recently, really all these unhappy things push me into low spirits.. To make things worse, is this type of things can be avoided but yet these dancers dun wanna prevent...

But i think since the Horoscope says in this way, and moreover so frequent, i think i had better be cautious in my actions liao... D.I i think i oso dun interfere too much liao...

Conclusion: 2005 is a drastic change for DI, in years to come, it may be worse unless Mr Low puts it thru a revamp... Age gap will juz increase as the yrs go by... In a bid to distant myself from all these issues, I had better back off... If the present/future new batch really think they dance to perfection, they need no more improvements, then i think i cant do much... =(

Bottomline: Zhongyi, exercise caution in ur actions, should be got lots of ppl waiting to back stab u/ see u fall... Distant urself from them, let them be the way they r, juz do ur own job... Hopefully Mr Low will understand why i suddenly dun help out anymore liao... Pray i dun cause any misunderstandings...

With disappointment

End of Entry

Balance betw strictness/leniency
Balance betw praise/negative reinforcements

This entry is to record what/how i feel abt the above mentioned issue when i was 21..
In 2005, i choreographed a dance 4 the gals of 1E3'05 to dance for Tanglin SS sch event. It's a sch perf, dance concert kinda of thingy...
They r all non-dancers with no exp at all, so i haf been teaching them lah... Then lessons went on as usual every week, now come this perf requiring them to put up an item, so i choreographed one 4 them to perf.. Then of course, what follows behind is training 4 the dance lah..

Now the issue sets here:
I would haf trained them for 6 sessions liao, counting up till the actual perf day... So what should i say/how should i judge them? They took 3 sessions to finish learning the dance, quite fast i would say, 4 non-dancers.. A relatively fast speed.. 3 sessions of full prac & my correcting/specifications of dance steps.... So the result is like out liao.. Though today(entry is blogged on a Tues, actual event is the coming Fri) still 3 days from actual perf, i dun think the standard can flunctuate by alot...

So what's e issue?
Cos they still haf not reached my ideal standard (benchmark 4 non-dancers) of a dance.. It still shows they r v green, i would say...
I not asking 4 high standard but i want to at least remove the 'greeness' in them, so tt they can at least: respect e perf, haf stage discipline, understand e hardships behind a perf (i.e the pracs they been thru, e amt of issues to be resolved like makeup, hairstyle, costume etc), & exp standing on stage, been viewed by audience..

All those mentioned was not totally absorbed by all students, some managed to meet my expectations, some didnt, some cant even be bothered... I m not angry, like i said, this class is really e best liao, i m only sad...
Sad, cos i cant push them to the next level of higher standard... If by my lowest standard, they already exceed liao, at least they can listen to rhythm, do simple dance steps, not like a zombie standing on stage anymore... So they passed my lowest expectations, which is y i like this class & wish to push them further up.. Sigh, but really seems cant leh...
Cant is becos they dun like it, & oso dun understand y im doing it... Why? Cos although they can so-called 'move' liao, they still nv full-up my dance steps.. Put it simply, they r always like marking my steps, so i really dunno is they cant/ they dun want.. Make them prac some more then all unhappy liao..

So when i try to push further, they not happy liao, sigh... & simply becos till now, i nv praise them for a complete full-run( not nv praise at all, juz tt complete run full-up nv praise), they feel tt i v strict & not a good teacher... Sigh... What should i say leh?? =p Not v sure myself.. I dun wanna praise cos i dun want their standard to stop at tt level, i wanna push 4 higher, simply becos they haf e potential to hit tt level.. I dare say their potential can meet tt of e NHDS Sec 1 dancers.. Esp take part in NKF Sec 1s...
Tt's what i sincerely feel abt their full-potential.. Only challenge now is to help them realise their potential...

Okie, so abt today's topic: striking a balance betw strictness/leniency & praise/negative reinforcements is really hard.. Cos i use -ve reinforcements more on them, less of +ve.. Simply becos i praise only when i sincerely feel so.. I dun wanna use praise as a tool of encouragement, cos later they will think: Aiyah, Zhongyi juz wanna encourage us, his praise is not truthful one...
Wah, by then, +ve reinforcements oso no use liao....
Their standard now still lack by a bit lah: timing got some not v accurate, hands not all e time straight, still counting out quite loudly sometimes, not smiling... Other than tt, It's viewable..
Okie lah, 4 mistakes for non-dancers, i can close one eye lah, but can reduce to zero mistakes one leh... Timing juz count in ur heart, & prac more with frenz, be used to each other's counting tempo.. Hands straight needless to say, lastly smile lor... Smile more oso wont die... Sigh...

Back to topic, sign, dunno when then they will wake up to my teachings? Should i be as strict as when i m dancing with dancers? I really wish so much they can maximise their potential..
But i wont lah, if i do, the whole class will collapse, so will our teacher-student relationship...
But hor, i already push my expectations down dunno how many levels liao leh...

Sigh, actually seriously i dunno y ppl feel my expectations high? Cos unlike Connie etc, i didnt learn from young leh, & i didnt go 4 extra prac like some students now, i only prac during ECA timing.. Anyone who is in NHDS b4 will know how little & pathetic the amt of time is.. How is it we (i mean any1 who feel my expectations high) r all normal ppl, not trained since young, & u all feel my expectations high?? Juz put ur heart into e dance, & feel, talk, understand the dance can liao... Doing wushu, u cant use a 'ballet heart' to dance right?
I m a normal person, tt's y when i can do smth, i understand/believe tt any normal person (trained/untrained) can oso do it.. I started out as an untrained person too...

Quoted from Mr Low last time: As long as u haf the heart, even a handicapped can dance v well & touch the audience's heart..
Becos of this sentence, it motivated me on, turning me into what i m today...
Oso the reason why i stayed on in DI & not join outside any other troupes... Cos i'll always be grateful to Mr Low as his teachings influenced me...

I actually oso treat my students the way I was treated when i was a student BUT.....
My students from 1E3 actually turned out to say i biased... Wah lau, dunno is they joking or wat.. I practise Meritocracy in my lesson lah, not biaseness lah... If the person work hard, of coz can rest more lah.. I mean the amt of sweat already differs liao, how can a lazy person be asked to be treated the same as a hardworking one? Even the amt injuries suffered also differs, if i treat both ppl e same, then tt is y i demmed biaseness... Okie lah, but anyway i think friends who know me should know Zhongyi's pattern is how one lah... So can only hope 4 e kids to wake up & realise one day what i haf trying to do 4 them ba... =)

Okie lah, anyway blogged till here ba...
Bottomline, balancing betw the 2 ends is a skill tt i haf to keep learning & learning every now & then...

End of entry

Embarking on a new journey as an amateur again


This is an Entry to blog my journey as an amateur again, the journey to learning how to listen to music & grasp the essence of it, so tt i can choreograph a dance with it...
Tt day juz bought the Yoshiki album, so although listening to it isn't tt difficult but wanna choreograph a dance with it is damn different liao...
At the same time, listened to many other CDs lent by Mr Low, was told to go home listen to it, but in the end, couldn't understand most of them.. Out of 4 CDs, dun understand 2 of them... Dunno what they playing, how they played, worst, cant find any rhythmic pattern in the compositions. Like tt dun need to mention wanna choreograph dance piece with it liao lah... Esp my Yoshiki album, wah kao, cant find any pattern at all, seems like everything wont repeat itself one...

Help ah... This time really need help liao....
Need to go learn from ppl how to listen to music liao, how to haf a good feel 4 music...This task is hard, gonna try your very best to do it.. One of your weak points in dance, if u can enhance this skill, maybe u can soar for greater heights...
Decided: shall slowly emark on this new journey liao...

End of entry
An amateur again

Blog/ Diary

To me, this blog is juz some place to record my happenings in life & some of my thoughts in life when i m of a certain age... When i look back, it can help me recall whatever happened in my life as i slowly pace towards another phase in my life...

So unlike other ppl, i keep my blog design simple with juz one wallpaper & one song, which i may change every now & then according to my mood & thoughts... Above all these, i sincerely hope whoever visits my blog wont leave anonymous comments/ spam can liao...

Special thanx to 2 individuals: Sam & Zhenyu

Sam designed this blog 4 me, everytime i gotta trouble him, & Zhenyu needless to say, is he trigger me to haf this idea of keeping a blog, juz tt i keep it from other ppl except frenz, so tt visitors r confirmed sincere friends can liao, den nobody will leave offensive comments on my tagboard..

But still, i think i will maybe cut/paste all those entries maybe once a month into CD-RW backup copy, if not later wat Sam said come true, wah then all my memories gone liao...
Backup-copy still muz haf, but the storage space confirm smaller than a diary..
So, yah, still can keep everything paperless ba...

So Let's get started in recording all e happenings & thoughts in my life...
Let's go!!!!!

Enlightened

Event recollection: Prac 4 NKF Cancer fund Perf which is due on 3rd July

This entry is to remind myself of the 'dangerous' times i haf gone thru, almost killing my own dance path... Serves as a reminder nv to do these things again, cos juz simply it is 'dangerous', can cause lots of misunderstandings... Ever since i re-joined D.I in 2003, everything was wonderful...

Until this new batch of youngsters, those so much younger than me... So dunno is they too comfortable in their own sch or i m too harsh, but anyway, they come into DI, with the usual slack attitude they haf in their sch, regardless which sec sch under Mr Low, they all seemingly adopt the same 'training attitude': tt means know the dance steps can liao, nv go into depth to analyze the dance steps, & even be strict abt it.. I not even mentioning understand & feel the dance or whatsoever, i purely talking abt accuracy & strictness of dance steps..
So apparently, when i started to correct them & be strict abt it, as usual, it caused lots of unhappiness.. As usual lah, unless the ppl r mature enough to understand y i m doing it, the response is always negative one... So they really dun understand until kanna scolded by Mr Low or wat, then wake up... Sianz, i do all the correcting & strictness b4 hand is simply becos i dun want them 2 get scolded by Mr Low mah, later not only will spoil their day, oso will spoil every1's day in DI...
Becos really mah, no students want to c Mr Low angry one, the atmosphere/ mood will all be spoilt... Y cant every1 juz dance happily in DI? Then Mr Low & every1 oso happy happy, good day 4 every1...

In our everyday life, sch/work has already so much stress & unhappiness liao, so much politics/ back stabbing etc... Come dance only to relax & so-called escape from the ugly reality world, recharge myself then go back to face the ugly reality world... Such a wish oso cant be fulfilled ah... Sianz...

K, back to topic, so i do alot of things (not only correcting dance steps, oso in correcting choreography, ice-break betw Tanglin SS & Crescent etc), so caused lots of unhappiness.. But i dun care abt those immature feelings one mah...
What i stunned is I nearly killed myself, cos in an effort to help, I thought maybe Mr Low think I bothered too much, so like too much in control... I sort of sensed it sometime ago & backed off a little (as in i knew their dance steps wrong but oso dun correct too much liao, say 1-2 times, dun listen ok then dun force u liao) dun later Mr Low angry with me... Cos i know i do things v pushy & expect an acceptable standard at least, so i oso v scared tt i do things too much, Mr Low may misunderstand i trying to take over the position as a choreographer...
So i backed off alot, didnt wanna cause misunderstanding...

Finally today, we had dinner together & we talked abt some issues over dinner, then he told me what he was planning... Wah, i was so surprized & impressed by Mr Low...
Content was smth like this: He didnt want me to interfere at all is becos he wanted to train the youngsters.. He didnt appt me do anything at all, not even expect me to do anything at all is becos he know tt i'll know how to do those things liao, (regardless whether admin/dance choreography/leadership/helping out in dao ju etc)
So i had the wrong impression (over-sensitive on my part) tt i thought i was too in control of things, & i offended Mr Low unknowingly... So actually NO lah... Is he wanna train the students, put them thru hardship as a test, so tt they can grow up & be better skilled (whether admin/dance choreography/leadership etc)

So the bottomline is, since i been thru this 'dangerous' phase, tt i thot i nearly offended Mr Low & killed my own dance path, i now know tt He is putting the new youngsters thru a so-called unannounced training prog, 4 them to grow up...
So as of today, I'll nv interfere anymore, not even in the least bit, let the youngsters grow themselves... I'll only assist if they approach me on their own will... I.E. pull factor kind of teaching instead of push factor...

Haha... Phew!!!! so relieved tt i was enlightened by Mr Low, i thot i offended him unknowingly...
Actually is his good intention not to let me interfere cos he know i'll finish the job on my own, which he doesn't want the case to be, cos he wants the new youngsters to try out so tt they can learn....

So Yeah!!! New batches & future batches to come, pls be mature.. Understand Mr Low's kind intentions, He is really a good instructor, want u all to learn so tt u can depend on urself next time... So pls, be grateful when u r tasked in future to do smth... It's a form of training, at least he took e effort to train u.. Some other instructors may juz treat u as a normal dancer & dun bother to train u in other areas...

So relieved tt i m enlightened...
Haha, from today onwards, I shall step back & take a seat liao.... At least i now know tt my interference is not needed is not becoz i did things e wrong way or wat, is juz simply Mr Low's plan of training the youngsters... =) Jia you ba, all the youths!!!

Relieved...

Yoshiki album in 2005: Eternal Melody II

Album review/thoughts:

This album is v interesting.. Gives me a chance to see the other side of the Talented Yoshiki. Apart from his X Japan works, can take a look at his musical talent in ballads, whatsmore this album is orchestra works... He is really good in this album, the compositions done r good... The pieces r soothing, has ups & downs, plus this 'dark' feeling in the music, giving it a deep sorrow & emptiness kinda of feel.. One thing I find a pity is tt his compositions r extremely artistic, v hard to grasp what he is trying to express, so unless i figure it out in due time, i dunno can take the pieces to go choreograph dance or not... I v enthu abt this idea of using Yoshiki's music to go choreograph a dance but 1stly dunno choreograph 4 who to dance lah, 2nd oso dunno feasible or not... Like quite hard leh...

I v admire Yoshiki's talent 4 being able to be 'gang' & 'rou' in his music... He can perf 'zhi gang' & oso 'zhi rou', is like a perfect composer lor... Really like God... This is really what i call talent.. Not juz can compose songs means talented, muz haf own uniqueness & most of all be evergreen & foreva creative... It doesn't matter how long it takes to come out with a piece of work (whether dance/ songs/ music etc) as long as it really came out from ur heart, & of coz no plagiarism..

I try summarize what i feel abt this album, so far i juz listened to the CD once, so maybe listen few more times will haf diff..
Dark, Sorrow, Emptiness, Helplessness, Resurrection, Eternity, Darkness amongst brightness (oso can be interpreted as chaos amongst peace, sorrow amongst happiness etc), Awaiting, Suffering 4 long time, Loneliness, Awakened, Death( but death in the way as in eventual ending, End to everything: hatred, love, suffering, happiness, feelings, touch, thoughts, even sub-conscious)

A v nice album... (N/B: May continue this entry aft i figured out what he is trying to express in each of his works, which may take a v long time..)

Change


This entry is done when i encountered this issue on 24 June'05, It's 2005, i am 21, in NTU Acc yr 2.. Scenario: My status is now NTU student, v interested in dancing, now oso an instructor teaching in Tanglin due to recommendations of Mr Low. So due to certain circumstances, i got involved in NKF Cancer Fund perf.. It's gonna be perf'ed on 3 July, which is next week actually.. This is a collaboration betw Tanglin Dance Ensemble which is the ECA under Mr Low lah, & D.I, which comprises of Kai Wei, Connie, Angeline, & the usual ppl lah plus Crescent Girls dancers too.. Perf content: Wushu kinda of dance steps plus lion dance drums make music, so no music, only drum beats make e music lah...

So u can imagine this grp dancing is so-called v young right? Guys only got me, Kai wei, Hann Bin, Kenrick, Yong Xuan n Roy.
What is so diff abt this entry is i m gonna blog abt this diff grp of young ppl...
Recall to scenario: not much time is left, so today Mr Low teach dance steps damn fast, music oso teach fast, do everything oso fast lah...

But Kai wei & the rest of the guys can beat the drums & what confuses me is Mr Low arrange me & Roy go join the rest of the girls in doing the dance steps leh?
Resulting thought in my mind( oso y i muz blog this entry 4 future reference) : Y this arrangement? dun understand... I dun haf any hard feelings abt it, but is state of confusion...

Kai wei & rest is so-called make-music personnel while me & Roy join rest of gals in the dance part.. Y like tt? Not odd meh, i mean even in formation it looks odd to me... Is really odd lah...
Muz really ask Mr Low how he come to this arrangement one? But i surely ask aft perf, not anytime b4... I dun want him to misunderstand, later thot i got hard feelings... Professional dancer muz accept wat is being choreographed by choreographer..

So me & Roy dance together with all the girls including Connie, Angeline etc. So the elder ones r us lah, so tt's brings the pt of this entry...

Dancing with new bunch of youngsters.. Today's topic: Change

Change is unavoidable in life, so aft been thru dancing wif so many diff ppl, i dun mind changes as in i dun reject them, aft all, u cant siam one lah, change will be there one...
But change oso muz haf limit, if fundamentals r given up, den u lose ur character/speciality or whatever..
Mr Low all along haf coached out dancers who r passionate abt dance, haf responsibilty, got take care of others etc, those ppl like Sam, Zhenyu, Daryl they all turn out to be one lah...

So now the thing is dancing with this new bunch of youngsters ah, they cant even compare to previous 'new batches' whom i encountered b4, eg. Thresa, Hui Ting tt batch..
What i mean by compare is in terms of seriousness... Recall scenario: Mr Low running out of time, teach things so fast liao, time is pressing, perf is next week, can every1 juz be like more serious & get things done? Wah, this batch of new youngsters huh, really like playing the whole night, i dunno wat to say... The standard they r showing i dunno wat to say: pls lah, NKF leh, Tele boardcast u give this type of standard, i really dun dare to think abt it.... N i m really sad...
Cos this kind of perf with such high publicity will affect Mr Low's reputation one leh.... Whoever is reading my entry, pls think abt this lah....

Why this topic abt change, becos if this is the way D.I. is geared towards, i dunno when i can meet more passionate dancers such as those from Wu Ju3.... I may be nv able to dance to my fullest anymore in D.I. liao...

Whoever knew me in the past when i was a NHSS dancer, & still know me & in contact now & is reading this entry, u should know how long ago i nv haf the chance to display my fullest liao..... Seriously lah, u think those community centre perf when D.I put up Wushu, i dance with NHDS juniors, i can put in fullest meh? If i put in fullest, tt whole piece of dance will dunno like wat? Super high level of standard deviation & high Variance? i dun wanna think abt it....

Change is really unavoidable, i m penning down this entry is becos if D.I is changing like tt with new batches of dancers, I m really v sad... Really... why? Coz i really wish to perf 1 day in the Esplandae Theatre, if this carries on, i m only drifting further away only, in the end, i will only end up with regrets.... No opportunity to set foot on stage of Esplanade is really 1 of my regrets in life... Yes, i know even if D.I is doing well, Mr Low oso wont go there perf unless invited cos cost of renting too ex, Precisely tt is y muz put up good perf everytime to increase publicity, hopefully can get invited... Once there is invitation, given Mr Low's personality, he usually wont reject one, eg. Wu Ju3 was an invited collaboration ah....


Okie lah, enough of all these... I actually know my wish wont come true but pen this entry down, next time when i refer to it, I'll juz be reminded of 1 of my regrets in life....

Initial D

Watched the movie last night 23 Jun'05.. Today then i know: The 'D' in Initial 'D' stands 4 Drifting: A trick in racing which involves braking ur vehicle suddenly, causing it to slide thru the turns in a road...
A movie by Jay Chow, Edison Chen, Shawn Yue, Jordan Chan..

These r the cars they used in the movie:
Toyota Trueno GT-Apex AE86 - Jay
Nissan Skyline GTR BNR32 - Shawn
Mazda RX7 III FC3S - Edison
Mitsubishi Evo3 - Jordan

Anyone who knows cars will know tt there is no possibility AE86 can race win Skyline, RX7 & Evo3 one, but okie lah, the story still convincing cos AE86 was fitted with new engine and Takumi drove on the selected racing route 4 5 yrs liao, so eventually when he won, i still think he is human and not legendalised lah... So the story still quite convincing.. Cos the selected racing route has lots of bends so changing of gears, tight turns, balancing, rapid acceleration rate, braking, suspension, all play an impt role... The highest speed they went in the movie oso nv exceed 200km/h, so makes sense lah, as in even Ferrari might lose cos no need to challenge 4 top speed mah, it concerns other factors as well....

Talking abt cars, these r some of the cars i like (wonder old liao will change taste or not, go buy Mercedes, Yucks!!!) (though i know by the time i haf $$, all the cars maybe not selling anymore...) 1st 4 cars were used in 2 Fast 2 Furious:

Nissan Skyline VSpec II (unable to obtain info but slightly equi to 350Z)
EVO VIII (0-100km/h : 4.6s)
Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder
Honda S2000
BMW M6 - so called 645Ci (0-100km/h : 4.5s)
BMW 330i (0-100km/h : 6.1s)
Nissan 350Z Fairlady (0-100km/h : 5.9s)
Mazda RX8 (0-100km/h : Approx 6s)
Renault Coupe Cabriolet (0-100km/h : Approx 7s)

I got the above info of the cars from Torque magazine & Straits Times, dunno accurate or not, anyway so far nv test drive before...
Of all the above cars, taking into account perf & price of car, my fav preference is Eclipse Spyder.. It is the same purple spider-like car driven by character Pearce in 2 Fast 2 Furious..

Wonder what initial 'D' would like if those cars mentioned above were used instead? Plus BMW Z4, Mercedes SL55, Porche Boxster, Subaru WRX STi... Woah, fierce fight sia...

But anyway, no $$ dun dream abt cars lah, Singapore buy car so ex, too bad lor i no $$... Dun talk so much...
End of entry...

Congratulations Zhongyi, you are...

'Xia Xue' Wendy Cheng of xiaxue.blogspot.com

You are a goddess/god. You've got the looks, the brains and the body. You have such an irreverent sense of humour, people listen to you religiously and worship the ground you walk on. On the other hand you can also be straightforward, blunt and very very controversial. That has the potential to offend many people, but of course you don't care, you just shoot. In the end, people either love you or hate you. Nothing in between.

Which Singaporean Blogger Are You?

Got this from Sam's blog, quite interesting personality test, wont say its totally true but really got some parts apply v closely to me... Keep this 4 reference, next time when i old liao can take a look... Though i know these personality tests usually apply generally to many ppl, n generalise every1's personality but anyway nv mind ba... Anyway i m always interested in doing these type of personality/leadership tests (such as MBTI, MIT) or whatever...

Tiring Journey ever since 1996

This entry is to record down the difficulties & hardships i faced thru out my years as a dancer ever since 1996... Hopefully by the time i old/ when i withdraw from dance arena (regardless whether willing/unwillingly), i can read this 4 myself & see the hardships i haf gone thru to be what i m today... Whether all mistakes or whatever....

1997 - Unable to meet Mr Low's expectation of partner dance, from then start my physical training all the way till today...
1997 - Ever 1st injury & still haunting me till now, now & then muz take good care.. Right leg hamstring muscle torn, reason: done by senior when trying to force me down a split
1997 - Forward roll done on hall-floor too many times, from corner to corner, training 4 SYF, resulting in back injury...
1998 - Partner dance with Hao Yih in Hope, wrist got injured
1998 - Year end during Dance Camp - Left Shoulder slight dislocation, N still Mdm See drive me go c Chin doc one....
1999 - Partner dance with Connie - Right Shoulder injury + Ear pain (*cos she always scream when on my shoulder... Haha... Cute ah...)
2000 - Right leg hamstring muscle give prob again, luckily nv affect my dance in the NKF Istana park event..
2002 - Was down with pneumonia( lung infection), stamina dropped 100%, spent 3mths getting it back aft recovery...
2003 - 2004 nothing
2005 - Went for Wushu training in Ying Zhao Quan(Eagle Claw Fist), the China instructor help me stretch, then again too much liao... Eventually stretch till left leg hamstring muscle oso torn liao... Then the right leg hamstring muscle prob oso surface again, so as of today dtd June 23 '05, i m half handicapped, dunno still can dance or not... Muz go consult Mr Low & Bao Shun Lao Shi soon... Then learn all the shuai & break fall, now back oso injured again... Sianz...

Really dun wish my dance life to end so soon, Sigh..... Really will collapse one ah...
Wait 4 healing is all i can do... sian...

Life is so unpredictable, even wanna juz dance peacefully oso cannot....
Wonder how to go teach lessons now....
I sincerely pray for miracles to happen... Pls...

Shin-13 ppl & Myself...
Destiny really plays a part, damn interesting...

This entry is abt Sam, Zhenyu, Kai Wei, Daryl, Zhi Yan, Mao rong etc...
Dunno i got miss out any1 or not...

But this bunch of ppl huh, i tell u really in a certain way make me re-born....
Seriously is re-born, into the last time Zhongyi with passion...

Why lidat? V simple, recall: KNN, 2 yrs in army nv dance leh, come out oso dunno wanna continue or not... is i meet this bunch of ppl re-lit my flame of passion... Serious is like re-born lor...

Dun 4get, ever since Zhi Bao & Li Wei batch, followed by Shan Bao batch, n my batch, nobody come back n help & coach juniors one leh... even my batch only me, Weiyang, Zixiang only mah, n we most of the time come back c c look look only leh...
Only when i met this batch, i realize they go all the way to help, help not in dance only but in welfare & leadership exco kinda thingy...
Anyway, they surprized me lah, as in wah, still got this type of ppl nowadays ah?? Good good, NHDS still got hope, wont die yet...

So got to know them n we collaborated to help NHDS, trying to revive it n push it back to the ideal era...
So wah lau, i gel into their social circle unknowingly & next thing we know, we end up eating dinner together on Fridays aft NHDS dance prac & going to KBox together... Haha... come to think of it, i really feel so honoured to know them... This batch of interesting ppl n yet passionate in dance...

It's really ironical.. The so-called best dancers nv ever return to help out, regardless which batch, e medicore ones r those with so much passion tt they keep coming back even amidst a busy schedule... =) Sam/ Zhenyu/ Daryl/ Kai Wei/ Zhi Yan/ Mao rong all not excellent technique mah, but always come back help out... My batch oso not as On as them, even dance camp oso dun wanna come back....

But serious lah, getting to know them is really a great thing to happen to me...
As i knew these ppl, i re-born liao, so i keep going back to help, this time not only c c look look, but really coach them.. So i guess the juniors cant tahan my MOI (method of instruction), so caused alot of unhappiness & bu shuang... But regardless, cos Sam they all also agree/ at least know y i do things tt way, so it's alright...

So i haf been playing the 'bad guy' role since 2004-2005, finally SYF 2005 over liao, aft this yr, Sam, Zhenyu, Zhi Yan, Mao rong go army, so i oso wont come back to coach liao unless i got new support from new grads lah...
So unless i haf sufficient support i think aft 2005, i will resume c c look look again...

So really thanx to these Shin-13 ppl, becos having known u all, i haf e chance/motivation to coach my beloved NHDS again aft i came out of NS.. The NHDS where i grew up from....
Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, if the new batch of grads, Jie Yim, Wei Hong, Juncheng, Yilong etc, still request i go back n help n give me sufficient support, i will really still be honoured to do so.... Do the thing i m most passionate abt... It's really a great feeling... Shin-13 ppl gave me e opportunity to enjoy this sense of achievement once, if this new batch of grads give me this opportunity as well, i'll definitely cherish it one..... Push NHDS towards the ideal era.... =)


Haha, playing the 'bad guy' role 4 this SYF 2005, really damn interesting... quite tiring oso but lucky got Shin-13 ppl support, if not i long time collapse liao.... At least they understand what the F*** i m doing n why i doing it lah... N of course really muz thank Mr Low, cos he seriously appreciate what i did 4 NHDS during the SYF period, n he agrees wif wat i m doing, tt's y i dun mind carry on playing 'bad guy' role... Thanx to all the ppl who supported what i did during the SYF period, if not 4 u all, Zhongyi wont re-born, n kicking alive, maybe re-born den die again, if not 4 the continual support...

For this, i thank all.... I salute u ppl... Thanx =)

Undying Passion

Event dtd since 2005 Jan

Thanx to Mr Low for his guidance & teachings so far, under his recommendations, i got a part time assignment under his company.. As a dance instructor.. Feel so happy, why? Cos i finally can so called earn $$ via my passion 4 dance... I mean, i dun need e $$, if i need i can easily go take part time jobs as waiter/ whatever... But being able to do what u like n yet get paid for it, the feeling is juz so great... It's really a great satisfaction, n not to mention tt i actually like the role of instructor.. Yes, i like teaching/coaching/instructing... Whenever i see some1 else succeed under my guidance, i seriously feel a sense of achievement..
I feel so satisfied whenever this happens, which is oso y i keep going back NHDS to teach them, but they usually dun appreciate but nv mind, anyway, i oso old liao, age gap too big cant go back liao, they wont understand wat i m trying to do...

Zhongyi ah, really cherish what u r doing now, pls live ur dance life to the fullest... I m afraid u gonna end the dance life 2-3 yrs later liao... so pls ah, cherish & put in full effort everytime, whether dancing urself or coaching others... Not much time left liao...

So i got this job assignment intro by Mr Low, a dance instructor currently at Tanglin SS, coaching students under a dance programme. The nicest challenge abt this is tt students r mostly non-dancers, as in every student has to attend, so most of them non-dancers. In my class 1E3 '05, only 3 dancers, but anyway i sincerely feel tt my class is really the best among the whole sec 1&2 level..
Best not best in dancing or wat, like i always said, techniques not tt impt, impt is interest/ passion...
So, under this definition, i find them the best..
Cos i relief other teachers' lessons as well sometimes, so i found out tt my class really e best liao, dun haf any better ones liao, if i still hiam, den nutting left liao... Thus, i decided to treat them better, dunno whether they appreciate or not...

If let those NHDS ppl know tt Zhongyi treat his students v well, dun think any of them would believe...
Haha, i can imagine their face: Huh? Dun bluff me lah, Zhongyi tt SMM will treat ppl nice one meh??

*SMM is the nick they throw to me, cos they always think i scold them but really lah, none of the NHDS dancers today saw me scold ppl b4, or saw wat i was when i was a student... If what i m doing currently they already cant tahan, i wonder if 1 day, i resume back to my old self, what will happen to them? Dunno they can accept or not... Actually since i came out from NS, i nv lost my temper ever again liao... Raise my voice is to cover over their conversations only mah, i nv lose my temper liao... But i seriously dunno why they say my voice v loud den like as if scolding them? Dunno what the teenagers nowadays thinking?


Okie lah, enough of NHDS ppl, move back to my students in Tanglin..
So huh, i really treated them better but seems like recently wanna climb over my head liao but heng ah, everything still in control, Hehe...
Okie lah, as their instructor i dunno i successful or not, this one let them judge 4 themselves ba..
But the thing i wanna judge myself is IF eventually, i can arouse their interest & passion in Dance hor, then i will consider myself successful liao.. Tt's means change a normal person to one w interest in dancing, if they think my technique not good, they next time can go learn from other teachers, but as long as they haf the interest, i will consider myself to be a successful instructor liao... Wait 4 results ba... =)

1E3'05 - U r a v nice class, i enjoy teachng u all..... No matter what others say, i m & i will still be v proud of u all...

Okie eonugh of Tanglin SS liao, let's jump a little back to NHDS...
Haha... These ppl huh, oso quite cute/interesting lah... Though they dance not v enthu/serious but still brought joy to me lah... At least lit up my life a little... Haha...
Now come to think of it, they really damn cute...
Wanna scold ppl (me in this case), oso dun wanna scold in front of me, like to hide behind give funny cute cute nicks, haha... Nowadays the teenagers ah, really ah... Last time i student time bu shuang my senior can straight away tieo liao, dun need wait ah...
But they really damn funny leh, like Daryl they call WCM, me is SMM, wah all sorts of nicks all can come out one leh...
Then as of today, Jie Yim is their mummy, Daryl is daddy, Sam is Ah-gong, wah lau this kind of thing oso can think of ah... really v cute leh...
Then like the Zhu Lin Er Tong Yue Dui huh, wah wat age liao still sing tt kind of song, whatsmore sing till so happy, really huh... V cute ah... Sigh, my teenage is over liao... Looking at them is really interesting ah...

NHDS is really a big family, if only they dun haf all the backstabbing/ politics, every1 is devoted to dancing huh, wah i tell u huh, Paradise liao...
In fact actually Sam is trying v hard to realise this ideal lah, hopefully he can succeed, really succeed...

K lah, leave a tail here, i continue Sam & NHDS issue in next entry.. Cos i seriously think this batch of Shin-13 ppl deserves a separate entry...

Bottomline, Quek, pls cherish ur remaining days...

Dance Dilemma

This entry i haf been wanting to pen it down 4 quite sometime liao....
This has been running in my mind since 2003/04 when i returned to dancing arena again... Esp when i returned to NHSS & DI.
I oso know tt even at the end of this entry, my question still will not be answered, i can only sincerely pray tt 'these type of ppl' continuously appear in my life to assist & guide me...
I know nobody can give me an answer, & much less be able to convince me with their answers, but whoever gets to read this, i still sincerely value ur comments, so pls still give me ur constructive comments...
Even if this entry becomes out-dated, if anybody happens to chance upon this entry, can still contact me & give me ur views, i still will take into account...


Lets get started:
What is a good dance/ dancer?
I haf an answer myself but i dun wish to be limited by my own answer becos i dun wanna be labelled a 'frog in the well'*, hence i wanna hear more answers/ more comments... unfortunately, ppl who r able to give me constructive comments r getting lesser & lesser..
* I myself hate frogs in the well so i try my veri best to listen to feedback & improve each & everytime...

Now, the case in my life is tt those who can give me constructive feedback r getting lesser & lesser.. Talk crap one alot... so huh, oso dunno what to do...

Quote an eg out of the many incidents:
I went back to NHSS, assisted Mr Low in NHSS SYF 2005 lah... Of cos 2003 already start to go back liao, but when i really interfere is 2004... So the story goes...
Seeing them dance ever since 2003 -2004, i realize the definition of a good dance/ dancer has changed.. Dunno is good or bad... N in DI oso, dancing with Kai wei & the batch of new dancers1, the definition has changed... No sacarcism here but i really dunno is good/bad...

1the new batch i refer to those who participated in Wu Ju3 with me only...
For this batch i can say the change is 'Not Bad' as in like neutral, no good oso no bad... They juz showed me another way of 'wat is a perf'... So okie, i learnt alot from them too, so not bad lah, at least i learnt new things...

But huh in NHSS, i really dunno what to comment, as in how to ans my 1st qtn mentioned above... What is a good dance/ dancer?

Their definition i dunno, i oso dunno how to comment...
Becos Mr Low tell them, 'ermm... Not Bad', aft seeing their 'full-out'...
so what is the standard? really okie?
Then how come last time when i was a student, the standard requested of us was so diff?
Of cos i can understand Mr Low's mixed feelings aft so many yrs of teaching & seeing so many batches lah...

His comments of that NHDS made me think thru & threw me into a Dilemma, tt's was when i started asking tt qtn....

Becos even Mr Low rarely give me comments now, which scares me a little, cos like i said, i dun wanna be labelled a frog in the well, i wanna obtain lots of feedback, esp credible feedback... If i didnt do well enough in smth, can tell me...
The last time Mr Low commented honestly on me, (not those courteous words Ke Tao Hua), is in Wu Ju3.. During Kopitiam & Bottle up, he commented i danced well & tt i brought out the atmosphere & laughter he wanted in the audience.. I.E. i fulfiled e expectations of his choreography.. He was surprized tt i could still dance aft i stopped 4 so long, i oso v glad..

For Kopitiam, me & Wei Yun brought out the laughter, for Bottle Up, me & Ade brought out the Suppression he wanted...
Tt's was the last time comments were not given becos of courteousy... Which is y i treasured the comments so much...

Another thing which i really even treasured more is comments on myself in Wu Ju3 given by Bai Ying Wen (Lao Shi). Bai Ying Wen Lao Shi is an instructor & lecturer in NAFA Dance department... Same as Bao Shun Lao Shi, Bai Lao Shi oso good friend of Mr Low.
He went to c Wu Ju3 & when the thing ended, he commented on my perf. He commented tt i haf done well... I was so happy & honoured becos when this happened, Mr Low was not ard, he juz came to me & told me i done well...(so its not courteous words, as in he dun need give face to Mr Low juz becos i m his student mah, aft all Mr Low not ard...)
N he not only say i done well, he analyze where i done well, where not so good... hence i treasure this feedback alot...



Okie now back to the topic, what is unfortunate is tt not every1 is like Bai Lao Shi can point out to me where i not done sufficient, so e constructive feedback i haf been receiving is getting lesser & lesser as the yrs go by... Oso maybe got ppl scared offend me den nv tell me... Most impt of all, credibility ah... If i really nv do well, e person telling me this muz help me pt out where not good n how to do better mah....

Sigh, i can only pray 4 more of these ppl like Bao Shun Lao Shi & Bai Lao Shi to appear in my life & guide me...
So @ e end of this entry, the question still stays: What is a good dance/ dancer?
Some1 guide/ teach me pls?

Mind is still in Chaos, in a Dilemma..... =(

Kpop bands

Today the topic is on Kpop bands n why i admire (as in xing shang) them.
Yes, simply becos they r so damn talented..
I mean in Mandopop, ppl get so crazy over talented artists like David Tao, Wang Li Hom & Jay Chou etc, but do they really know tt actually in Kpop music arena, long ago ppl already started to adore talented singers liao, as compared to those commercial product singers w looks but no talent..

Tt's y i find Mandopop is so far behind in terms of music as compared to Jpop & Kpop...
I will prove my point in this entry...

Kpop Arena

H.O.T - formed in 1996, disbanded in 2001, came out with 5 albums. Whats so impact abt them? High-five of Teenagers, this name of the boyband is not chosen 4 no reason...
They represent all the voices of teenagers in Korea, tt's y they were so popular... Their songs, lyrics, melodies, dress sense, rap lyrics, all were a representation of Korea Teenagers' heartfelt feelings...
Their song themes range from 'Rebellious', ' School Life', 'Showing Love 4 e handicapped', 'Parents' expectation', 'Broken Family', 'Friends standing by their side' etc.
All these songs applied to teenagers of Korea, hence e rapid rise in their popularity, dominated the Kpop industry i would say..

If Singapore kids listen to their songs now, i believe it would apply to them currently as well...

So, whats the talent abt H.O.T?
Okie, all 5 of them r able to write their own songs, eg. 1 album is actually a complilation of all their works, juz tt the singing part every1 chips in tt's all.. As previous entry stated, Kang Ta is lead vocalist, Hee Jun can rap & sing... Jae Won specialies in rapping only, Woo Hyuk sepcialies in rapping & choreographing dances 4 H.O.T's MVs, (Juz like Energy's Niu Nai), Tony sings & raps as well, but Tony is diff as in he takes charge of all English rap lyrics..

So a typical song of H.O.T goes like tt: Hee Jun, Kang Ta sing, takes care of the ballad high key parts, Tony sings a little & raps all the English raps, Jae Won does the rap in Korean language, while Woo Hyuk raps as well & lastly oso choreographs a dance 4 the song.
The dance is then learnt by every1 in the band, the production is complete... They can perform liao...

Towards the 4th & 5th album, they start to cross-train & take up other roles, like 1 song in 4th album, Do or Die, Woo Hyuk does the singing.... Though not v good but still okie lah...

Worth mentioning is 4th & 5th album, entire album is done by H.O.T members only, no products from outside composers or whatever...
List a few Eg : Time will Tell in 5th alb, is done by Jae Won, A song 4 lady is by Hee Jun, We can Do it is by Kang Ta, N.B.K is by Tony, Goodbye 4 the last is by Woo Hyuk..
Rest of the songs all by them, helping out one another..
Eg. Rap lyrics all along by Woo Hyuk, Jae Won & Tony only, while melody composing usually by Hee Jun & Kang Ta..

From the above intro of H.O.T, u can see actually how talented they r in coming out w their own songs... Esp Woo Hyuk, 4 every main song in the alb at least, still gotta go choreograph 1 dance 4 the grp...

So, what i haf being trying to say at the v beginning, Mandopop really got the idea of grooming boybands from Jpop & Kpop one... Pls lah, H.O.T was formed in 1996 & Shinhwa in 1998, what abt Energy & 5566 etc? They were v late liao lor, ppl in other industry already did this long ago, now then do e same...

Not i biased against Mandopop lah, any1 reading this dun be offended hor, but juz tt i feel like voicing my opinion out only...
Continue 2 give another eg, this time from Jpop...

F.I.R is good & popular right? a female vocalist, a guitarist & keyboarist.. Ppl who listen to Jpop, does this combi ring a bell to u? Yes, at least 2 bands i would say : Every Little Thing ELT, & Do as Infinity DAI.
This format of female vocalist plus guitar plus keyboard is so similar to ELT & DAI's format, the idea is so Jap.... If only u listen to Jpop, u see the similarities..


Okie enough of all comparsions, dunno who will be reading this entry but dun be offended, what i stated was really true facts above... FYI, i m oso a fan of Mandopop, i listen to energy, 5566 & many more, whatever i m writing here is with a neutral feeling...

I end this entry with just some info:
Energy - Come on (Original Version, Shinhwa - Hey Come on)
Energy - Wu Xie Ke Ji (Original Version, JTL - Enter e Dragon)
Energy - Mou Nian Mou Yue Mou Yi Tian (Original Version, Se7en - come back to me)
Energy - Missing You (Original Version, Fly to the Sky - Missing You)
SHE - Remember (Original Version, Shinhwa - T.O.P)

Mandopop, Jpop, Kpop.....

Another One of My Likes: Listening to music

Well, let's touch on another of my likes, listening to music... Do a brief summary so next time old liao, can see 4 myself, what r my likes 4 music genre when i was a certain age... =)

I grew up listening to CantoPop...
Veri first band/ artist is not even Andy Lau or any of the 4 Heavenly Kings, It's Beyond
Then start to listen to Mandopop, but of cos Mandopop not as hot as now lah, aft ppl like Jay Chou, F4, Jolin Tsai, Steph Sun revived it...
But at the same time, i was a fan of Cantopop, esp lots of HK Singers songs got Canto Version, i prefer the canto version to the chion version of the same song....

Okie, now here's the change: in 1998, The Japanese wind started to blow.. J-dramas such as Beachboys, Living under same roof, Love Generation, Long Vacation, GTO, etc were hot...
Hence, i ventured in Jpop.. Its was refreshing... At the same time, i ventured into Jap anime such as Gundam-W, so took note of the songs as well..
Became a Jpop music fanatic, got lotsa collections...
Ask me 4 more details if u wish....

Move on to SAJC, where i got to know new frenz intro new music genre to me...
Tt's JROCK...
I mean : X-Japan, Luna Sea, Dir En Grey, Larc En Ciel, Glay, Malice Mizer, Due Le Quartz etc...

Haha, tt's alot of bands right? i think nowadays maybe alot ppl dunno what i talking abt, aft all, most of these bands disbanded... So sad...
Jrock, to be exact, is actually visual rock.. X-Japan started this trend in Japan, so new bands start to form when X Japan members scouted out talented guitarists, vocalists, drummer, bassits etc.

If u interested in knowing what is visual rock, can ask me... =) it's diff from punk rock, heavy metal etc...

To juz name a few: Hide scouted Luna Sea, Yoshiki scouted Glay, Larc en Ciel, Dir en Grey...
Wah, familiar right? Yes, almost all the bands i mentioned above were scouted by X Japan members, cos other than being a successful band, they r oso producers of their own music & bosses of record company : Extascy records (i dunno how to spell)
Then i was siao in Jrock & Jpop, basically J culture, in my JC days....

in 2001, Korean wind started to blow, with the drama hit : Autumn in my Heart
Theme Song : A song 4 Lady by H.O.T

I was impressed by H.O.T (stands 4 high-five of teenagers), becos of their visual looks.. Yes, they r a hip-hop boyband (like 5566/ Energy pattern), but their dressing follows visual rock pattern... Hence i was captured by the elaborate dressing.. I hence started my quest into Kpop music genre.. This time nobody intro one, ownself go look 4 all the music & testing...

Little did i know tt: Kpop music is so rich in Hip-Hop Culture, so rich lor...
I shall list down my findings, N how it later impact me/ led me to:

H.O.T members: Kang Ta, Moon Hee Jun, Jang Woo Hyuk, Lee Jae Won, Tong An

Kang Ta: talent scouted, lead vocalist, writes own songs, currently now a renowned figure in Kpop arena, juz ask ard u know... Dun wanna bore u with details, though i really haf alot...

Moon Hee Jun: Leader of HOT, passed an audition

Lee Jae Won: approached by Hee Jun, as in frenz jio into the group... Jae Won specialises in rapping & dancing

Woo Hyuk: talent scouted as he won 1st in a dance competition, one of the most recognised best dancer in Kpop arena now...

Tony An: Went 4 audition n made it in..

Anyway, enough of all these, dun wanna be naggy... HOT aft led me to grow interest in Kpop, so i came in touch with Shinhwa.. & so the Korean carries on blowing these years with artistes like BoA & many more....

So i started to listen to kpop n went deep in it...
Currently, HOT disbanded, Jae Won, Woo Hyuk, Tony formed a grp called JTL, Hee Jun & Kang Ta went solo...
Kang Ta is like David Tao in mandopop, if u like a comparison, but i personally think Kang Ta better, cos Kang Ta can still rap & dance mah... Kang Ta likes Jazz music most, so his songs haf a jazzy blue feeling in them..

Hee Jun went into Rock music, his specialisation n i think his unrivalled talent is being able to combine Rock, HipHop & Orchestra Classical music together... For a good example, pls refer to 2 HOT songs: Outside Castle, I Yah etc
These 2 songs will illustrate what i mean... Tt time i intro this song to Zhenyu, he also found it good... Other than Outside Castle, I Yah is also another example, u can go try out, n u will understand in what way Hee Jun is talented..

JTL, needless to intro, if u dunno them, they sang the original Korean version of Energy's Wu Xie Ke Ji.
Okie, so i suppose it rings a bell? Next time go Kbox sing Wu Xie Ke Ji, take note of the composers n u will see 3 names, JTL names respectively...

Currently, other than Shinhwa, HOT, JTL, BoA, i listen to other artistes as well, namely: Se7en, Rain etc...
If ya interested i'll intro their music...

So after so much, n becos i listen to so many genres of music, it aids in my dancing research, cos when i need to search 4 music, i haf a library of them, but sad to say, its still not enough...

Recently, i m into New Age music, cos needa choreograph dance, den needa search 4 music again mah... I m currently v impressed with Maksim, the piano player, yes, he dun consider himself a pianist but a piano player... His music is dynamic....

Okie, next time i'll post an entry on the artistes' achievements & why i admire them instead of other mandopop idols...
Cos i really think they r talented... Next time den prove my point, not in this post...

Bottomline why wanna post this entry is becos: whoever is reading this out there, pls feel free to contact me at anytime, if u haf good music to intro to me... as u can c by now, language doesn't posse a barrier to me when i mtrying out new music genres...

Pls pls pls intro new music to me, i wish to come into contact with more diff music.... =)
Thank you

One of My Likes : DANCING

Come to think of it, so damn ironical, how did i become a dancer?
I guess is really Mr Low Ee Chiang's credit.. He changed me totally, (from a boy grad from pri sch) to a teenager. He changed my perspective of Dancing totally...

Right till Today, i wouldn't dare to say i know Dancing... In fact, i dunno how to dance.. Till today i only know how to RESPECT A PERFORMANCE & put in my best effort for the performance tt's all.. My everything, Attention, Heart, Soul, Energy, Mind, Blood, Tears.... I believe a Performance (in this case dance, 4 e rest of this entry whatever i say refers to dance but actually applies to all performances, eg. Drama, Music, Singing, Visual Arts etc) has its own soul & life & emotions. It can feel ur sincerity towards it. Be it a choreograped dance, a playscript, a composed tune, a painting, even one of the things i enjoy doing - Chinese essay writing etc.

Simply Becos it can feel ur sincerity, the effect differs for everyone.. Precisely becos the sincerity is maybe not 'pure' , (is Pure a correct word to use? i hope it express my exact thots though) some ppl dance but cant touch the audience/ even fellow dancers on the same stage...
Tt i think is unprofessional... Professional is this case i dun mean the $$ u get, or the high level standard u show during the dance, i mean the discipline & purity of effort u put into the performance...

When i ended my NS trainee phase, i started going back to Mr Low D.I., n NHSS... when i 1st went back, i saw a few pieces of dance... I knew they werent serious when dancing so okie lah, i can dun bother abt the standard, but sometime later, one of the same dance was done by the juniors, when i saw it, it was really way below the lowest 'acceptable' standard... Back then, when i got to know Zhenyu, Sam, Kai Wei & fellow Shin-13 ppl, we decided to name to dance "Comedy"...

Come to think of it, so funny...
Funny is becos i cant cry/laugh (Ku Xiao Bu De)
Dunno is wanna laugh it off, as in juz treat them childish or should i really go scold them??
Actually, if given the benefit, i would choose to scold them, really.... I sincerely can feel how tt dance would feel, being 'danced' tt way, the comedy way...
It's so Disrespectful & Insulting... =(

Yes, a dance does not haf to be serious all the while, some dances r 4 pure entertainment, u haf to create laughter effect, if audience dun laugh, u r considered a failure, yup!!!
But what i wanna say is tt standard is really way below the lowest 'acceptable' standard.
Why? Becos wanting to create the laughter effect is oso a so-called serious thing to do, if u r serious in acting it out, PERFORMING to e best of ur ability, the dance can feel it, it will juz gel into ur actions & rhythm, creating the effect u want 4 e audience... Imagine a clown in the circus dun even respect his juggling items, can he bring laughter & entertainment to the audience? He not even respecting his own job as an entertainer....
Tt's really why i dunno wanna laugh/scold?

Okie lah, dun touch too much on this comedy issue liao, aft all its over...
Let's move on:

Why touch on Performance effort, Respect, Soul & Emotion of Dance?
Why i consider myself dunno how to dance?

Mr Low say b4, he last time go Indonesia/ Japan, there the ppl Ji Ben Gong not v good one, yet their dance can touch him, as in leave a lasting impression... He told me b4 got 1 whole dance abt 10 min in Japan, the dancer ever since music start nv move a bit at all, until end of 10 min...
This may sound stupid, but it left an impact in his mind.. Actually 10 min dun move at all is damn tiring lor, i dare say, more tiring than moving lor... The whole dance no motion, no action.... Only lighting colors & music gel together, can u imagine it? I can... truly a piece of Art i would say...
Being able not to move at all is also a technique in dance...

Plus Jeff Tan lah, showed me the KYTV production, wah lau the dance i oso stunned by it...
KYTV is a grp in Singapore doing theatre productions, something like Theatreworks & TNS..
Anyway, the dance is part of a drama in the entire production, only take up 3 min only..
The solo dancer doing it has no dance background, the impressive part is she keep doing the same dance steps for the entire 3 min... Wah Lau like robot like tt... Hey, is totally continuous hor, no stop in betw.. Only abt 2x8 of action, repeat 4 3 whole min leh... Can tahan ah? Impressive is tt her actions keep repeating but she doesnt seem tired, her hand/leg angles all v accurate & same as b4.. This is what i mean by professional.. The discipline & strictness, every single motion oso put in full effort, even repeated steps muz be totally same, juz like as if they were photocopied...
If some1 reading this still dunno what i saying, i explain explicitly...
She is behaving like a clock, so her hands & legs r as though minute & second hands, every single motion is so stirct & disciplined, she hits the same angle everytime... The 2x8 action repeats 4 3 min... Plus legs oso got action hor, legs oso hit same angle lor...
Impressive to u? Well, at least it impressed me greatly i would say...
KYTV is Kill Your Television... U may wish to check up on this grp, they r a bunch of frenz grad from La Salle & NAFA, came together start a small arts company, tt's all..

No dancers inside, all grad in Visual Arts, Audio Arts, Music Techinician etc but totally no dancer but yet impressed me...


Hence, a dance really has its own soul & emotions & life... It can feel ur sincerity.. Tt's y diff dancers dance e same dance can give out diff effect, it's not external factors, not tt the dance steps changed or wat, its INTERNAL.... If u dun haf a feeling for the dance, it wont haf a feeling 4 u too.... Heard tt NHSS 88th anniversary dancing Forging Ahead (editied Version), i wonder how it would be like? Haf not seen the dance yet....

As 4 myself, i dare say too, i long time nv feel 4 a dance liao, recently oso no new productions, how to feel?? The last time i feel for a production, as in really feel, not only serious (i always haf been serious in my performances, tt's the bare Min i do, above tt is then stirctness, feeling 4 e dance & understanding the dance) is last yr 2004 at Victoria Theatre.

The production on Kopitiam & Bottled up (Yun Niang)
Esp Yun Niang, so fortunate to be able to cooperate with more serious dancers like Ade & Yunyun, Wei Yun etc (They were really professional lor). Tt i think was really the last time i actually sat down, felt 4 the dance & understand it, talk to it...
Yun Niang is a modern dance abt bottling up feelings, the whole dance focuses on Suppression. Hence ur actions muz haf explosion effect (Bao Fa Li), Not juz pure energy, ur actions muz haf slow, motionless, Suppression den explosion...
2 Analogies: An arrow on a bow, pulled with full force but remain motionless 4 veri long, unreleased.... Eventually it's being released
A bottle of highly active chemical? (maybe potassium being put into H2O), but the cap was nv released, activity rate in the bottle is v high... eventually cap was released...

I crave for more productions ah.... Hopefully one day i can once again put in my 100%...
Waiting for dances to surface....

Okie lah, dun drag the entry,
End Here,
Continue as another entry next time...

First post dtd 21 June 2005

Suddenly felt like keeping a blog of my own, juz a paperless collection of all my thoughts.. Tt's really the power of IT, last time used to keep a diary, but take up storage space, den use up the entire book still gotta buy new one... Now everything do online, save lots of storage space...

Thought of keeping a collection of my thoughts, dun later next time old liao, everything blank in my head... Though my life quite boring nothing special but betta still blog lah, at least next time old liao, not so bad, still can read past entires to kill time...

About me:

Lets get started then:
Name: Guo Zhongyi
DOB: 05 Nov 1983
Phases in Life: Zhangde PS, Nan Hua SS, SAJC, NTU (acc)
Army phase: BMTC, SISPEC, OCS, SOA, 8 SAB Bde MTO

Likes: Dancing/ Listening to music

Okie lets get started
PSLE : 244
O level: L1R5 - 9
A Level: Phy - A, Maths C - A, Chinese 'A' - A, Econs - B, Chinese 'AO' - A1, GP - B3

In NHSS, ECA - Dance Society
Teachers who impacted my life (taught me > textbk education): Mdm See (Dance ECA TIC), Miss Ng( Mr Tan Boon Hian's wife), Mr Lee Boon Kit(form teacher of sec3&4), Mr Ong (Chinese teacher during sec 2), Mrs Tooh (Physics teacher during Sec 3&4), Mr Low Ee Chiang (dance instructor)

In SAJC, ECA - Dance
Teachers who impacted my life (taught me > textbk education): Mr Hon Tin Seng (Physics & civics tutor), Mdm Chia Shu yan( CLA tutor), Mr Chu Hian Ming (Econs Lecturer), Miss Edna Lee ( Econs Tutor),

In NTU, ECA - Modern Jazz (though i now v long nv go 4 prac liao, dunno kanna kicked out or not)
Ppl who impacted my life (taught me > textbk education): Verite Gekijio members, Assoc Prof Jeff Tan (Theatre Studies lecturer) (Ex- TNS Director)

In Army:
Ppl who impacted my life: 3SG Andy Lim (PTI), 2WO Szeto Chee Keong, 3SG Lau Tat Lee & 2SG Eng Xing You (SISPEC), LTA David Chee, MAJ Victor Lee, LTA Errol Sin (SOA), 2WO Lim Yeow Ching & all staff in MT Line (8 SAB)

Minor Achievements:

NHSS: Dance Leader since sec 1&2, sec 3&4 become treasurer
Sec 2, under Mr Low's guidance & encouragement, came out with my very 1st self-choreographed dance.
Sec 1 - NDP Mass Display
Sec 2 1997 SYF dance competition: Cultural Dance - Joyful Harvest (Gold)
Sec 3 1998 SYF Mass Display at Kallang Stadium (selected 4 centre figure plus TV interview on behalf of NHDS)
Sec 4 1999 Dance Competition: Modern Dance - Forging Ahead (Gold)
Best dance of the year (94/100) - invited to perform in Suntec 1999 Millennium Countdown
*Pls refer to sch testimonial 4 detailed memories

Academic:

In sec2 under Mr Ong, Chinese final yr exam Chinese Essay got 39/40
Highest in Chinese in Sec 3 - Major reason: full marks for chinese compo 25/25,
Hence got to know ppl like Mdm Yeung, Mr Ye, Mr Loh(principal), Mr Lam (VP), N many other Teachers in the Chinese department... (Mdm See oso Chin department one)
Cos exam papers r not supposed to be marked by own teacher, so during sec 2&3, many teachers read my works, so got to know who i am... Oso Chinese Essay writing compet in NHSS held every year, i sec 1, 3&4 got take prize, so i gotta noe many Chin teachers

Eventually when O levels came out, i got 9 points, plus i student consel, plus good ECA records & O results, i was one of the candidates selected to go back give speech... Out of the 2 choices, in the end, the honour went to Chuiling (oso dancer)
What is so worth mentioning abt this issue is Mdm See fight so hard for my selection lor... I was really touched & honoured... They 'argue' in meetings, deciding who should be the one, in the end fight until left 2 ppl, n yet both oso Dancers... This is the touching part, she fight so hard until all candidates kanna dropped, left dancers, no matter whether i get the honour or not, the Honour still goes to a Dancer... Mdm See really huh.... Super Good teacher sia...

SAJC: Highest in CLA for 2 yrs in SAJC
Under Mdm Chia's guidance, my interest in Chinese soared even higher.. She was able to provide so much more knowledge/info than what is given in textbk..
Mr Hon: Carrer guidance so impt lor, learnt so much from him
Mr Chu: Needless to say, so On with him, go gym train together, at night he still treat dinner, esp treat we NHSS students... he damn like NHSS students in SAJC... Dinner treat lots of times: not to mention buffets & Crystal Jade etc. Muz keep in contact with him ah....

In NTU:
Jeff Tan: Needless to Say, this guy unplugged me, introduced me to the even inner depth of the Arts world.. (He taught much on Theory while my dance instructor is teach me practical)
Theatre Studies... Showed me how big this world is....


Thats all for this post....
Recall your memories pls, Quek.....