Tuesday, December 29, 2009

因为我没有哭

以下的篇章是从 赖雅妍 的部落格 成篇拷贝过来, 并非我个人的作品。

一直都觉得自己很像大人
跌到了很痛但是我没有哭
直到转身后痛得掉了眼泪,
才发现。。。
我一点都不喜欢当大人。

大人常常被孩子不谅解,
因为直线看过去的世界,
不会了解弯弯曲曲的结,
想画一个拐弯抹角的圆,
只因为这样好像比较完美。

屁。。。
那弄得大人都好累好累

小时候妈妈说我哭得好丑,
从此觉得眼泪不是好东西。
再难过似乎都比丑好,
因此我不哭,也忍着不难过。
这样应该就会比较漂亮了。

长大以后发现会哭好像比较得意
女人哭了有人帮你拿东西
男人哭了被称做铁汉柔情
小孩哭了爸妈给你买玩具
老天哭了所有人都不快乐
眼泪变成一种说话的工具
也变成另一种战争的武器

等我老了眼泪就不再有价值,
何不把握当下现在就学会哭,
掉了眼泪心里就会比较舒服,
哭完好入睡,
哭了比较楚楚可怜,
哭了,心里的重量就不会多,
可放下它, 也可吃掉它。

但可惜了,
因为我没有哭。
——————————————————————————

我想赖雅妍的这篇,倒与我不谋而合。想想,我已有许久没落泪了,更别说哭。。。
日子久了,连哭的感觉都没有,何来的泪呢?
记得以前自己曾写过: 人,只会越来越麻木,最后到了欲哭无泪的地步。。。

其实,能哭的人是幸福的

Friday, December 25, 2009

Anyhow Arts 2009

YES!!! Time is 25 Dec 2009, Anyhow Arts 2009 has ended on 19 / 20 Dec at PA. This yr was a shiong yr. I did the programming all by myself, programme booklet with Zixiang, ticketing by myself, and I choreo 2 items, more than the usual. I even have to source for new concepts. I brought in a guitar duet this year, Genin & Chun Yong. 1 comment---> super shiong...


But now tt its over, Im really happy =) Special thanks here to Xi Ying Lao Shi & Mr Low, my 2 beloved teachers who have guided me and gave me so much room to grow. This year I was invited by Xi Ying Lao Shi to choreo a dance for the Southern Arts Society dance troupe. Thank you Xi Ying Lao Shi for giving me this opportunity. =) Then as usual, I choreo 1 dance for DI members, those who are willing to work with me, those who answered my Facebook "call" for dancers.



This year, my item is lyrical hip hop using Bleeding Love, with some other segments in between. Thanks to the dancers who danced in my item, Yiyang, Celia, Alyssa, Yueli, Peixuan, Yi Song, Joanne (who joined last min --- Haha, but still glad u could make it), and my last 2 dancers from previous year, Vanessa & Vivian. Thank you for your hard work, hope u all like the item, there's alot of details in the choreography to try to match every single word of the song. I hope u guys or even the audience was able to appreciate the beauty of this compatible matching choreography.



My item for Southern Arts is on Beauty. I picked up the idea from Perfect Cut, Channel U drama, and let the girls dance to the theme song by Shi Xin Hui. The dance piece is abt Beauty, Self-confidence, and other people's view / gaze.... To match to the meaning of the song, I had Hui wen wearing a mask, signifying her inferior complex, different from the norm of "Beauty" in society's eyes. Then there was this part where every1 freezed, and she walked ard them in envy, hoping to be like them. Then I added 1 part of lifting (which the audience is free to interpret in anyway), and ended off with Hui Wen taking off the Mask, and dancing again. This time, with her real appearance, and I used sign languages in the choreography, hoping to bring out a silent msg to the audience.

As per my dance synopsis; What is beauty? Self-confidence is then a Lady's best accessories. Beauty is decided by the Society, and any1 can nv catch up with Society's view of beauty. In ancient Greece, Ladies who are overweight & plump are considered beauty. In today's society, the hour-glass shape tt a lady shld haf is simply a norm set by society. Thus, beauty is nv ever defined. Self-confidence is then the best accessory any lady can have.


Well, for this year's AHA, my personal opinion what would be e best dance of e night would be tt dance by Crescent Girls dancers, dancing to Lao Shi's item. It was really well-choreo, and v site specific. It matched the evening, the ambience, the lighting. It was simply beautiful, practically Art in Motion. Saw alot of photographers taking photos during the dance, I guess the visual image of the dancers within the surrounding background is really a captivating image to capture.
Well done Girls.....=) Impressive is the word....

Next, as for my item, Love like Dust, Thank you the 9 dancers who danced in this item. I sincerely hope tt it was a nice collaboration and u all loved this item. Tt would be my most ultimate objective. =) Dance education is aft all what im looking at all along....

This year, Im really happy that I did so much, worked with so many diff ppl, and see so many new faces. I even managed to feature Genin & ChunYong for the pre-show segment, and many told me tt it was a good move to bring music into AHA 2009, giving it a new lease of life =).

Once again, Thank you Yiyang, Celia, Alyssa, Yueli, Peixuan, Yi Song, Joanne, Vanessa & Vivian. Like I said tt day, U guys did a great job and really Love u ppl. Esp the last encore dance for Yiyang w/o the audience, i think u all suddenly become stress-free and danced so well. Thank you Xi Ying Lao Shi, Mr Low for the wonderful opportunities.
To every1 who has worked along / with me for AHA 2009, thank you so much, you have given me memories to take along with when I grow old...


Zhongyi is still the same old Zhongyi.
This year marks the 10th anniversary since I graduated from NHSS.
Getting Re-started

Time is 25 Dec 09, I finally have the time to sit down and rest and spring-clean my room. The feeling of "cleaning" everything up is really good.... IT gives me a refreshing feeling, something like falling down and standing up again to re-start.

For not blogging so long (abt 6 months), is becos i was confused, re-thinking over the process whether I took the wrong step in life. Tt step i took.... It was brave, courageous u can say, but on the other hand, it can be viewed as Dumb, impractical, young & rash, not mature...

So how do YOU view it?? If there's an audience watching my life as a movie, how would they have viewed tt step i took? For the past 6 months i was confused... But aft AHA 09, aft talking to Lao Shi, I m all ready to go again...

Perhaps I am a person who is supposed to meet with setbacks & failures all the way, and to know how to handle them again & again is my destiny?? Resilience & Perseverenace is what i am named anyway. 仲毅, 取意自-----> 所有人之中 : 仲, 最有毅力的:毅

Anyway, Im enlightened by AHA 09, and Lao Shi, so once again (and I freaking mean AGAIN, so u can imagine how many times i FAILED in life already), Im starting out from zero and on a new path again. 我又再一次跌到了,我又必须再一次重新站起来。现在已有很多人跑在我的前面,我只有重新再起步。或许真的已比很多人迟,但是我还是会一步一步地一直往前走。。。


重新出发

Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Catalogue of My essays:

Dear readers, those interested to read my essays, pls refer to the datelines and search thru my archieves to read them... Suggestion is to read from the oldest essays which i find are better done generally ...

Hope u all read when u are free, and do give comments everytime, i do come up with new essays every now and then, depends on whether i got ling gan or not.... =D

Date & Title:
12/07/05 - 钢琴与她
18/07/05 - 思念
23/07/05 - 孤单起飞
08/08/05 - 痛、苦、悲、绝
22/11/05 - 窗外雨滴
29/11/05 - 冰天雪地 - 心的接触
07/12/05 - 瞬间の永恒
26/12/05 - 无法习惯
18/02/06 - It's been raining since u left me
23/05/06 - 刺青
24/06/06 - 一个人生活
21/12/06 - When did your heart stop loving me?
28/12/07 - 遥远的她

*B4 every essay, there is a foreword, so if interested do read tt as well, it states how i got the ideas =)