My 8th Essay in 2005

Wah, shiok, v comfortable aft writing this essay, this one it took me abt 2 days in all. I started abt 3 or 4 days ago but slack ah, so strictly speaking only abt 2 days work.. Readers pls enjoy and as usual, post ur comments or even send me an email..

Next, i shall move on to the origins of my Ling Gan for this essay.. This essay is really shiok. Normal readers who wish to look out for a storyline, i m sorry u will be v disappointed. Cos my Ling Gan came from so many corners, it cant be formed into a story & i intentionally didnt wanna include a storyline, which i'll explain later why.

Origin 1: Sam's Blog song - Jay Chou's Feng (I went to check up on this song cos i liked the music melody from Sam's blog, didnt know it was a song, till some1 told me, i went to listen & check up the lyrics & wah piang, its damn nice)

Origin 2: Juncheng's Blog Wallpaper abt Sin & Forgiveness... (A really nice wallpaper, i guess its Final Fantasy wallpaper? Kinda liked the Sin & Forgiveness idea, so wanted to write something abt it...)

Origin 3: Songs by Rain - Still unfamiliar & Utada Hikaru - First Love (These 2 songs v sentimental & touching so it inspired me =))

Combine all 3 origins together & I have this essay as the final product... Hahaha... Feeling v shiok now. Now, the reason why i obmitted the storyline cos i only wanted to bring out the feelings of my origins, whoever is reading can thus feel free to put urself in the shoes of my essay & include ur own life story. In this way, u may haf a stronger sense of ownership for my essay, able to understand & feel IT in a better way... =)

So readers pls enjoy, & do leave ur comments.... =)

Feeling great now

End of Entry

无法习惯

北风无情地刮着，大地弥漫着萧索、凄凉的气息。一股莫名的寂寞凄凉浮游于空气中，我独自在百花凋谢的这个秋天走着。秋天已到，树叶簌簌飘落，落得遍地。我缓缓走着，一步步都显得沉重疲惫，脚步仿佛背负着沉重负担。而这呆滞的步伐走得无声无息，仿佛走的人亦毫无生命。渐渐地，我在一棵树下停了下来。冷风霍然吹起，遍地落叶随风飘舞，围绕著我，仿佛亦感应到了我的黯然神伤。落叶与我擦身而过，带给我一份若即若离的感觉，气氛瞬间更添凄凉。。。

原谅我，我知道即使再怎么做，都无法挽回这秋天的一切。随着秋天的结束，冬季即将降临，而我亦会独自渡过这寒冷的冬天。然而，与你的共同回忆已深深烙印在我的内心深处，我无法习惯没有你的日子，无法习惯没有你在身边的感觉。深深想念着你的味道、你的微笑、你时而沉，时而轻的呼吸。。。记忆中的你带给我无限的欢笑，犹如春天的阳光，明媚温暖，不带任何杀伤力，缓缓地溶化了冬天残留下来的冰霜。我仍无法习惯没有你的每一天，就如从前一样。在你离开的这个秋天，树叶枯萎了，我的脚步变得呆滞，我的身心交瘁、疲惫不堪，我的生命无声无息地结束了。。。

原谅我，I wish to be forgiven。此时此刻，你不在我身边；而回忆的片段不断地在我脑海里重复著。风，仍不停地刮着；叶，亦继续飘落；我的伤口也依旧没有抚平；思念还是持续不断。一阵莫名的悲伤汹涌袭来，我忽然感到肩膀湿答答的，抬头一望，原来天空已下起雨来。这一瞬间，我已无法分辨出究竟是我因悲伤而落泪，还是天为你我的故事而哭？泪水与雨水已混合在一起了。在这凄凉的秋天，这一阵冷冷的冰雨与片片的落叶让我深切地感受到失去你的‘痛’。今晚落叶簌簌下，满天繁星如我泪。。。

繁星点点，多不胜数，但每一颗星之间的距离却又那么遥远，仿佛就如你我之间的距离。背负着种种的过错，我祈求得到宽恕，即使我知道一切都无法挽回并且都会在这个秋天结束。。。

犹如这场绵绵不断、毫无终结的雨， U will always be inside my heart, I hope I have a place in your heart too.....

Dance Exchange Program @ NHSS 2005

Time is 21 Dec. Well, i didnt intend to join in or even go down to NHSS today, but becos of something i need to go down look for Mr Low and explain everything to him, so basically i went down. I do not wish to spell out everything here cos i really wish to put things behind me. As i said, my blog is a paperless collection of my memories, i wouldn't want these unhappy memories to be recalled when i read this entry again in the future. Basically its abt dance instructing stuff.

Okie, so i went down to NH today & sat there the whole day while they played games. All 4 schs were there & yup they perf items turn by turn. Then the ketchup song came & they started to party. Wah Lau, Mr Low muz haf done something to the tempo of the song. The tempo is damn fast, perhaps twice as fast? or one-half times? Next is the Countdown dance. Wah Piang, tt one can confirm is MINIMUM twice as fast. Haha, den Mr Low call us grads go down dance with them as well. It was really a shiok dance. I haf nv danced this dance with dance steps twice as fast b4, so finally got a chance to pit my personal speed with the music, Wah Piang, really shiok man!!! It was a challenge sia, i pit my speed against tt of the music, taking note of my actions, making sure i didn't 'eat' my steps in a bid to catch up with the music, eventually i put in effort & yup, managed to prove to myself TODAY tt i could still catch up with the twice as fast music.
Cos frankly speaking, long time nv dance full-up liao, & to fast music somemore. I v long nv attend Patrick's lessons, so v long no chance to come into contact with fast tempo music. So today is really to prove to myself tt i can still catch up with fast Tempo. V Happy, at least it eliminated my depression since morning.. Yup, so ended today's Exchange Prog at NH with the Countdown dance, with me joining all the students from: Crescent, Nan Chiau, Nan Hua & Tanglin, for the sake of challenging myself. & yup, glad to know tt i still Can Make It. =)

A fast dance is really tiring sia... But really challenging & Shiok!

End of Entry

Introduction & Appreciation
(Cocktail + Jay Chou's Fa Ru Xue)

Time is 10 Dec '05. Last night was Zhenyu's birthday, we celebrated it via a 3day 2 night chalet at Pasir Ris Downtown East. First night i was quite happy, introduced a drink of Baley's Irish Cream with Hershey's chocolate to everyone present tt day. They liked it alot, & I was glad, after all, it's nice to introduce to ppl (esp ladies) these drinks with low alcohol content yet tasty. Haha, esp Joanna, Ivy liked it so much, they kept asking for more.. Though Mei Fang didn't drink much, she still gave acknowledgement tt the drink was nice...

=) It's satisfying to know tt ur introduction of things to frenz are appreciated

However, last night, i didn't haf a goodnight's sleep & yup something happened in the midnight/ early morning during the chalet den i got headache till this afternoon.. Then came home to sleep this morning but headache still didnt subside.. Moreover, still need to use brain over some issues, make me even more headache..
So aft my lunch, i went to sleep again but this time i did some music therapy as i get into sleep.. Hehe, miraclously my headache subsided.. =)
So here i m to introduce this magical song to my blog readers.. Fa Ru Xue by Jay Chou

The lyrics are below, pls enjoy & feel the song, it's really unique in a certain way, very good for music therapy. As i listen to the song, i slept with full relaxation (dancers reading this, u all shld already know its v difficult to relax all muscles even in sleep), yet i managed to do it with e help of this song.. Ppl who cant get to sleep/ haf headaches, i intro this song to u.
Another song oso worth mentioning is Still Unfamiliar sung by Korean Singer - Rain. Those in the chalet should know,i played ths song on Repeat mode last night.. Yup, these 2 songs r quite good for music therapy. U all may haf ur own choices of songs as well but do try out my suggestions.. At least they worked for me =) U dun expect to play Hip Hop/ heavy groove music for music therapy right? I think will even more stressed..

Readers, thanx for reading & yup, enjoy the feel of Fa Ru Xue, appreciate the beauty of this song, from lyrics to melody etc. Music Therapy is not juz listening to music alone, FEEL & APPRECIATE it... Understand the lyrics may help.. =) Anyway diff ppl got diff ways, try them out =)



歌曲：发如雪

歌手：周杰伦 专辑：十一月的萧邦

狼牙月伊人憔悴我举杯饮尽了风雪
是谁打翻前世柜惹尘埃是非
缘字诀几番轮回你锁眉哭红颜唤不回
纵然青史已经成灰我爱不灭
繁华如三千东流水
我只取一瓢爱了解只恋你化身的蝶

你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑

rap:你发如雪凄美了离别我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉微醺的岁月

啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦啦儿啦儿啦
铜镜映无邪扎马尾你若撒野今生我把酒奉陪

End of Entry

散文 <<瞬间の永恒 - 序>>

永恒不是永远。有人常常把永远与永恒搞错。永远与时间有关联。永远是用于指时间的长久性。永恒却和时间没有关联。它原是指不变的东西，因此有“永恒不变”的成语。它着重于不变的那种特质。所以才有这样的说法：钻石是永恒的。因为钻石不会变质，也不会因岁月的蹉跎的变形。
相对的，永远是因时间而定形的。例如：“你会爱我多久？”， “我会永远爱你。” 在这里，时间必须有存在的意义，那么永远才会有其宝贵的价值。永恒却不为此所影响。

永恒是和不变有关联，而永远是和时间的长久性有关联。

搞清楚了两者之间的差别，这篇散文的主题就不会矛盾了。因为瞬间与时间有关联，是指一霎那间的意思。而永远却是指长久的意思。因此，将主题读成瞬间の永远，不免自相矛盾，甚至不能理解作者最想表达的情感。但是，若将主题读成瞬间の永恒，就不难理解作者的用意。那代表着瞬间的不变。亦就是说瞬间的所有：包括了景象、天气、面貌、情感、承诺、回忆等都不会变。这些东西都会历经时间的洗礼，却仍然保持不变。其中，瞬间亦表示了“少”的可贵。

其意境与这两句话有点相似之处
“不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有”
和
“曾经沧海难为水，除却巫山不是云”

瞬间の永恒

在不知名的远处，有着一栋房子。在这偏僻、毫无人烟的地方，根本没有人会注意甚至经过这栋房子，也从来没有人开启这房子的那扇门。不知过了多久,这间房子来了一位房客。她，什么行李也没带，就打算这么住下来。她轻轻地打开了这扇许久没被开启的门，一步一步踏进了这间房子。她试着探索这房子的神秘，到处摸索，在房子处处留下了脚印。初次住进这间不甚熟悉的房子，她却备感温馨，感到房子给她一种很贴心的亲密感。虽不知她会何时搬走，但她却已在这间房子留下了不可磨灭的脚印。。。。

某年某月某一天的晚上，在送她回家的路途中，他们坐在寥寥数人的车里，窗外一片寂静。路上不见川流不息的车子，只见一排一排的街灯。车的行驶速度并不缓慢，却不知为何，车子似乎永远不会到达终点。他们紧握着彼此的手，依偎在一起，享受着爱就在身边的感觉。尽管车还是以急速在路上奔驰，他还是希望这段路程永远不要结束。与她在一起时的感觉独一无二，非其他人可取代。

他孤高冷傲，从来就没有人能接近他，更没有人试着要打开他心中的那扇门。这扇通往他心房的门被紧紧地锁上了。而从来就没有人能打开这把心锁，她不知如何竟持有打开这道门的钥匙。亦唯有她，才能打开这扇门，借而通往他的内心世界，探索他的心灵深处。。。
在这里，她或许不会住得很久，但是却已在他的心田里留下了不可磨灭的脚印。这一步一步的回忆已足以陪伴他一生一世。。。

当她将手放入他的手里时，她的玉指恰恰填满了他手指间的指缝，仿佛就如她住进了他的心房，填满了他心中的空虚。她的手不仅握住了他的手，仿佛亦触碰到了他的内心深处。握着她柔软的手时，他深切地感受到她的心，仿佛紧握的双手已将两颗心连接在一起，竟连心跳与呼吸的旋律都一致。这一瞬间的所有已代表了永恒。。。

犹如流星划过天际，最灿烂的一刻已是瞬间的永恒。即使流星已不在，观星者依旧记得它在无边无际的黑夜长空所留下的色彩。她亦同样地在他心中留下了永不磨灭的回忆。。。。

一瞬间已足够。。。