Dark Dayz in Life

Actually wanted to write 'darkest dayz in life' but realized tt i cant do it, cos in the future confirm got even darker days waiting behind.. Since life is a struggle & fighting process, then i think things will get tougher as days goes by.. Which of course makes us 'stronger' in a certain way, adapting to the hardships & challenges..

There is lots of types of hardships in the world today, i can divide them as financial difficulties, relationship problems, self-serving problems, and even many more... In amongst all these, i realize i haf every single one of them... Though i should not complain cos there r always ppl who r more unfortunate than me but there is one very simple question i juz cant simply avoid/ ignore...

Can i survive in this world in the future? By 'survive' i mean everything above; Financially, emotionally, psychologically etc

Frenz who r reading this entry, & yet not my age yet, u can ignore it or think abt it but actually this is the real world.. (This is very controversial, depending on ur own point of view & which stage of life u r in) Yes, every1 views this world differently but my view is not of the extremists & in fact, i m actually looking in an objective point of view.

I dunno whether i can survive or not... Even if i haf a degree, i m facing immense competition.. I doubt i can get Honours Degree judging from my results so far apparently to many others in Acc Faculty, & though i intend to Minor in Chinese, i dunno whether it is of any value or not cos There r ppl taking Double specialisation degrees now in Acc & moreover, there r competitors from SMU as well... Wah, Fuck!! Can i really survive? My degree may be worthless by then.. It is cheaper for an org to hire a Poly grad to do low-level jobs such as book-keeping etc. i.e. if i cant secure a position for a high level job, then most likely low level will be taken by Poly-grads due to lower cost. So it's really an irony; u study so hard, fighting like shit to get a degree but it no longer serves as a guarantee ticket to employment; unlike what my parents told me when i was young. So the feeling of studying in Uni now still makes me insecure; above all, it makes me lose focus & intention. If there isn't any value in the ultimate outcome, can u stay focused? Who says tt degree is a sure tick to employment? & also, my relationship with bro is not close, i can imagine in the future tt aft my parents pass away, me & bro like no longer family.. Tt is rather pathetic. Amongst all these future problems, Lets get back to present; I can no longer enjoy what i like doing most: Dancing

It can no longer be pure as before... Though i really dun wish to attribute blame to others, but i haf to say tt its them who make it like this. It wasn't like this in the past when i used to dance with my seniors. Frenz reading this; Honestly speaking touch ur heart & answer, who now in DI can practise until sweat like hell but still v enthu & dun complain abt fatigue? Pathetically almost none... Ppl now regardless in DI or NHSS dun prac unless pushed by seniors/ Mr Low himself...

NO!!!!! It shouldnt be this way.. It used to be: Ppl prac on their own till damn tired, Mr Low comes in, does simple coordination, minor corrections, then moves on to teach other ppl... He does not need to give special/additional attention to ppl who haf 'grown up'; even more particularly those who haf graduated from sec sch... Everything in DI is auto-run, self-initiated, not afraid to admit mistakes.. Adapt to changes appropriately

The situation now: Included many ppl from sec sch who in my view, claims to be enthu in dance, but in reality, i dun think they deserve to claim 'enthu & passionate'. Take a look at other troupes, u will understand y i made tt remark... Prac so little, complain so much, slack so much & worst, Dun adjust to mistakes... Corrections made were rendered useless eventually... Full-up 3-4 times, the same mistake still exists.. Dunno is dancers stuborn or wat....


In this scenario, pls lah; i wanna dance with a small group of interested ppl oso v difficult.... Tt's why i say i can no longer enjoy fully what i like most... The sad thing is i know i cant force ppl to be passionate abt dance, so how? what can i do? I seriously dunno... Is like i haf to adjust myself to the 'crowd' but i juz cant take it lying down honestly... Esp when i know Mr Low oso wants things to turn for the better...(Cos this means the prob is really not with me, Mr Low oso see the prob is with the dancers) Everytime we talk & i realize he still has not changed, it juz makes me feel so sad tt actually he has already written down his expectations & yet those ppl r still unaware of it, and remain self-conceited...


Why is it dark dayz in life? Cos i dun see any light... I mean i dunno if i can survive in the Future, & i cant fully enjoy every single moment of Present, ain't i juz living aimlessly? Future or present, i oso cant live life to fullest... The reason i m alive is becos i really dun wanna lose out in the fight against life... I will wait till the tide is over, but honestly, i oso f***ing dunno when it will be over... The most interesting part is i haf not start working yet so the darkest part is not even here & yet i m waiting for shine... Haha.... F***ing lame....


I dunno how m i going to go thru this phase in Life... Maybe when i look back, i oso can be amazed if i could survive this.....

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