Where should i go from here?

Today is 11 sep '05. I juz came back from DI. i realized things changed so much.. though i see light every now & then, & get depressed over dance issues, but somehow i always pick myself up. Actually i dunno whether in the future i will get over this or not, maybe few days, maybe few months, but i really want to pen this down...

Is it i really should not dance anymore? esp with this new batch of ppl? its not solely NH only lor cos there r still dancers fromother sch, so things r getting out of hand. Since i cant influence ppl with my good intentions, i decide not to care anymore... Is there any other soln? I sincerely pen down these thots of mine: Where should i go from here? How should i carry on from here? Leave? or join some other troupe? i think neither may make me happy (there r several possiblities), nor will staying make me happy too? How?

Cant believe it tt I haf to face such a situation someday. Come to think of it, i haf danced for quite some time, but i dun think its long cos honestly i still wish to continue for as long as i can..
I started out at 13, ever since i graduated from NHSS, i haf danced with many diff ppl, nv haf i faced this kinda of situation whether to carry on or not... A dancer dance until ask himself whether to carry on dancing or not? what is e world coming to?!

When i read this entry in the future, i may understand my current state of mixed-feelings..
A little sad, angry, feel unappreciated, disappointed, plus a kind of 'running out of time' feeling, & lastly a kind of 'praying for surprises' feeling...
I sincerely wish to meet & be with a bunch of super-enthu dancers willing to practise hard & sweat it out everytime, doesn't complain abt bordem n yet continues to create & innovate everytime..

I shall end this entry with this hope of mine....

End of Entry

Hope