Time now is 14-apr-08, on the low period in my life.... Had a talk with mother today, then she complained & cried abt Bro how come still doing tt MLM, and tt family income is at a real low now, lowest ever since the family started... And tt Father is an old man living on his remaining CPF for the next 30 yrs to come, so family savings is going rock bottom.
Was thinking thru all these and concluded, life in Singapore is getting F*** tough... My life has now hit a low period. Though one of the frenz (Yiming) has texted me, saying that we gotta hang on when its the low period, well honestly, my life has been in the low period since 2003, and is still there now. It has met with freaking many setbacks and here i am, still hanging in there.
Really tired, but will nv give up hanging there, cos giving up means i commit suicide to end my life. But then, I will nv commit suicide....
The quote from Takashi Sorimachi's GTO: To commit suicide is a coward's action, it takes more courage and strength to carry on living and go thru the setbacks. Hencewise, i F***ing will nv commit suicide. I only hope (everyday) tt I meet up with a car accident and suffer a fatal death. Not a partial paralyzed person pls... Anyway, all these are crap la...
Come to think of it, i oso dunno how i survived thru out the years. Since 2003, my life has hit a low and everytime i thought that it was the lowest, it nv was. It juz kept going on, and i keep pushing myself to carry on "on the pretext" that this is the worst le, nothing can be worst. And yet something worse comes along =(
After my enlightment trip from Taiwan in 06 with Weiming & Teddy, I came back a happy person. Even tt, it flunctuates ard a level slightly above depression level from 06-08, until NOW, when my company and me is at a standstill. So now Im risking all i have. Actually from a 3rd person's POV, im being too silly and unrealistic. But then, like i mentioned to Kenneth, In Singapore, there is 2 type of ppl; The ppl who choose the secure route; the ppl who choose the "deemed unrealistic" route by the society. So Im not making a "correct" decision, Im juz making my decision. In the end, may I be the one who suffer all the consequences.
Been mentally preparing myself for the disastrous consequences these days, i think life is such tt i cannot click with those secure ppl lah...
On a side note, Marcus Foo is leaving for America le, going there for auditions to enter US Dance Companies i think... but anyway all the best to him, afterall he is from a well-to-do family, so no harm trying when young, besides, he has the talent.
Many years have passed and i know many ppl in this world have given up their passion/interests in some way or another juz to secure life in Singapore. Han Qiang, Yonghao & gang, All my seniors from DI / NHSS, Mr Low (who is the best, managed to achieve a well-balanced 50%-50%), Even ppl like Weiyang's father. His father is a SWO in Armour, but who actually knows, he was ex-national team gymnast? U see, so many ppl ard gave up, which is the one stuborn reason why i dun want to fully give up. Im not going into it fully, juz wanna maintain a healthy % of tt in my life. Why is my job making it so F***ing hard for me?
My Life is so hard to control....
Dear frenz/ readers out there, if u are one of those who standby my decision no matter what i do; then this msg below is addressed to you =)
Thank you so much for believing in me, and choosing to ignore those "norm views" by the Society. Thanks to those who believe in my other talents, those who know tt i not only simply know Auditing & numbers....
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