ICE SKATING once again in 6 yrs

Well, time really flies, and after so long, i finally set foot on Fuji Ice Palace again. On saturday 16 Jun, went to ice skate with VG members. Taught Hui qun how to skate, though she did everything almost all by herself, i only there to give her assurance only =p Then cannot talk too much to her, she will lose concentration... Though i thought by talking she can dun be so tensed up, but in end, she end up telling me to keep quiet... diaozz....

The feeling is a little different from last time but the 'cool feel' of speeding on ice effortlessly is really nice. When its cold, and u glide along the ice smoothly, it feels really comfortable. If i can find ppl along, i might go again perhaps even once every week. 10 am when the skating ring juz opened, its nice without all those ppl.. Not so crowded, which means oso less dangerous la.. But the only imperfect thing abt this place is tt it plays Freaking Out-dated songs. Wah piang, cant imagine they are playing Leon Lai, Britney Spears' songs, which are donkey of years ago la.

The only song which i heard on saturday which i really think Wah Zai, is Daft Punk's Stronger Harder Faster Better. That's juz a perfect song for popping man....... wahaahah. But really the feel of ice skating is really good... Really helped me relieve stress, when gliding on ice, i simply feel so relaxed, though i will topple sometimes but yah, its nothing to pai seh abt, the key is know how to fall gracefully.... wahahah... =D

But anyway, so much for now, i may go ice skating every now & then perhaps.... =D Life's good

End of entry

U.N.I 2007

This entry is to express my passion for dance, my thanks & gratitude to frenz & fellow dancemates, and some of my greatest regrets in life. When i turn old & look back into this entries, perhaps i will sigh at why my life turned out to be like tt...

U.N.I 2007 ended on 26th May, with 2 days of performance straight. This used to be a Dance Inspiration project but e process & outcome didnt turn out like tt at all, All the production crew & choreographers shld haf known & realized tt this concert wasnt/ cannot be called a DI product at all. Nevertheless, i held on to the last & completed a few dances.
As i mentioned to Yi Meng & other VG members on 25th May, though in name i choreo 1 dance, but in substance i did 3 dances. The effort i put in 4 this production was so much more compared some other choreographers la, but listening to Kenneth, "Just try ur best for ur passion, tt's the only thing we can do", I juz pushed on..

UNI 2007 has ended, apparently oso seems like marking the end of my dance life.. Without dance performances, i dunno how my life will change. I told VG to come watch the perf cos its my last perf, which may la, i dunno what lies in the future. I will try my best to continue dancing, but maybe got no more chance to perform liao, tt's sad.... =(

So, marking towards the end of my dance performance/ dance life, the paragraph below is dedicated to my frenz =)

Thanks to Sam, Zhenyu, Zhiyan and those who came to help out during UNI
Thanks to VG who came to watch; Hui Qun, Yi Meng, Yongshun, Tinghan, cos this may be my last dance perf, i really appreciate u all coming
Thanks to Kenneth who still came though none of the NTU ppl came, thanks for always spurring me on in this Freaking route of mine, Hope u do well in ur route of Music =)
Thanks to the dancers of my UNI item, though the item was not up to my ideal, i still thank you for being a part of it, though i dunno u all enjoyed/ learnt anything from this post-modern dance or not... This may be my departing piece of work, hence i truly appreciate tt u all were a part of it, Thanx so much

Thanks to Lao Shi; Mr Low, for giving so much advice & encouragement along the way; HONESTLY SPEAKING HERE IN MY BLOG, I dunno the other items in UNI got throw ur face or not, but i sincerely hope my item didnt, I really really hoped tt this production didnt tarnish your reputation, seeing how it eventually turned out... And i Thank you for everything u haf done for this bunch of students whom u treat as ur children. When the production almost came to a halt, u even posed me a qtn: IF I were to cease this production now, will u all be v sad? (Showed that u placed the students above ur own reputation.... Respect!!!)
For the sacrifices u haf made for all these students, regardless whether worthwhile or not, I thank you & respect u for all u haf done...

For this sad part, which may be the greatest regret in my life, This is / drawing near to my last dance performance. The thought tt a job which i dislike (auditor) is draining my life away, i cant do things i like; Dance is gonna be history for me soon, and im sad tt i cant become a dancer/ instructor as a job. Perhaps its an issue of no flair, no opportunity, no networks. Hence, I really lack all the essential elements. But the harsh truth tt im not cut out for dance eventually simply juz demoralizes me, and puts my morale down, worst to worst it may sometimes even put my self-confidence down.... I oso dunno dance is good/ bad for me... Haizz....

水能载舟, 亦能覆舟

End of Entry

百感交集

表演, 舞蹈, 艺术 (Thoughts from Rize)

My DVD ordered from Yesasia finally reached today, Its a Region 1 DVD, luckily my laptop can play, if not $$ wasted... Ordered the Documentary film RIZE, which is abt krumping & clowning.. But to my very own surprise, the dvd inspired me not only in hip hop dancing, it inspired me to think abt 表演, 舞蹈, 艺术.

The documentary film touched on the origins of clowning & krumping. Watching the REAL stuff, i realized tt MTV krumping is so commercialized & really runined the spirit of krumping... Krumping was actually abt ppl expressing their anger, emotions, hatred, frustrations etc via some unrehearsed movements. Its all abt culture, its not longer DANCE alone. The setting where krump really originated was in USA, where gang fights, Shootings, drugs are everywhere, Life is hard for these Blacks. They cannot go to dance academy (no ballet, waltz, jazz etc), no $$. And they got no sports (not even american football/ basketball, tt is only possible in the main cities, according to the film la)

Hence everywk, teenagers juz crowd together at some garage or open space, with some music, and u dance..... Got no other activity what..... Give out all the angst & fustrations. Hence everything is every wild & beastly, which the documentary film show some parallel clips of Ancient African/Red Indian?? dance, which really found many similarities. The issue here is tribal.... Which led me to think of more abt the 表演, 舞蹈, 艺术 aspects...

Krumping, as a dance, is v tribal & has 宗教性, which led me to think abt the 乩童 in 庙会, actually we can draw many similarities in these two 表演. And the interesting thing is tt, both coincides with a common theatre theory - Antonin Artaud's Theatre Of Cruelty 残酷剧场. I really find that extremely amazing, each form of performance haf so much in common & all can be classified together under some performance theory.

什么是舞蹈, 什么是表演, 什么是艺术? 有人说舞蹈是通过肢体来表达讯息,情感,剧情等. 真的只是这样吗? 表演,艺术, 舞蹈, 甚至剧场, 四者之间的关系又是怎样的? 其中的微妙关系实在难以清楚明确地刮分.....

而舞蹈更是与宗教有着密切关系. 远古时代,第一个舞蹈应该是巫师吧! 之后,舞蹈也成了战争的附属品, 所以有所谓的"战舞". 当然之后, 舞蹈开始有了娱乐的作用 (宫廷舞,街头戏,勾栏/瓦舍), 但是无可争辩的是舞蹈的最初形态是与宗教有着密切关系. 舞蹈是带有"宗教性"的. 而Krumping 更加有这样的色彩. 看了之后, 我真的对于表演,艺术, 舞蹈, 甚至剧场有另一种体会.

Hence, i pen down this entry.... Its really inspiring... =) It has been a long time since i blogged abt something so enthusiastically....

End of Entry

NTU Memories

This entry is dedicated to all those whom i haf met in NTU, whether by chance or by fate. Time is Apr 12 2007, graduating soon from NTU, life will be different. Read Weiming's blog, hence got a sudden urge to write something & list down frenz's name juz in case next time old liao will forget...

My most appreciative thanx to all those frenz whom i made in NTU, u all haf an impact in my life in one way or another.. =)

Top 5 - Teddy Lim, Kenneth Tan, Liow Ee Jun, Ou Weiming, myself
Jianwei with his critical comments, Zesi & Cow Lim Junqi with their nonsense on msn everytime, Lynn Tan with her addressing me as 'Da ge' everytime though i really think i dun deserve tt =), Angie Chin with her nice personality & screaming "Zhongyiiiiiiiiiii" when she sees me, Adelene Fong the gan jiong Spider, Gwen, the super tall girl, always making me feel so extremely short when walking beside her, Eliz the super blur girl dying to become like Faye (FIR)......

Vierte Gekijio members; Elynn, Yi meng, Yongshun, Tinghan, Jingxian, Wei Hao, Weichang, myself Thanx for all you all haf done... though our perf : Masquerade was a short performance, which oso turned out to be our only performance, hahaha but i really really really ENJOYED it alot...


Come to think of it, i made really v little frenz compared to many other ppl in Uni.... hmmm, something is wrong with me... Haiz, everytime lidat, CMI..... =(

Anyway thanx every1 for making my life different....

Next portion tribute to memorable events in NTU life, not in accordance of importance;
1) Masquerade perf at Nayang Fine Arts with VG memebers, plus all the Tea House gatherings
2) All Top5 Gatherings
3) Impromptu Taiwan Trip with Weiming & Teddy, tt was really a trip which i enjoyed alot
4) 2D2N trip at Desaru

Next, some gangs which i joined in NTU
1) Forming of Top 5, with Teddy Lim as managing director, wahaha...
2) Vierte Gekijio - 8 members
3) 3x Scorpio gang comprising of me, Weiming, Eliz
4) FIR - Myself, Ang Chih Yeong & Eliz, with Eliz as Faye, CY as guitarist, me as Chen Jian Ning, diaozz right? cos my glasses tinted, and i look more stern.... hahaha

Like v little right? Maybe tt's y my Uni life not eventful enough.... Anyway, now currently cant think of anything more, will edit this entry & update in the future...

Unfinished

I took a bus home from Bishan on Sat, 31 Mar 2007. Was really surprised & shocked to see this layout of the bus. It's an SBS bus 54, and inside the seats layout is like tt.. The whole Bus is being so-called sponsored by Nokia, to be exact, nokia 5300. Even the entertainment on board is something called Music Mobile, and it plays some latest MTVs. As long as u are in the bus, u can activate ur Bluetooth to d/l this song for FREE... Though i dunno issit only exclusive to Nokia Hp users. But this bus layout really stunned me, and in the end, i enjoyed so much, i didnt even alight, i decided to sit all the way till Outram Bus Interchange then walk home from there...

The Bus is really cool sia.. The layout uses a concept of a pub/ bar etc.. Follow the photos, u can see that there is even a design of a table & chair juz like tt in a pub... I, and every1 else who boarded the bus was so amazed and ppl started taking photos with their hp.

Of cos i most extreme la, go every diff corner to take, since im the only one who sit from Interchange to Interchange... Wahaahah.....

Photos from Diff angles, basically i captured the whole bus from front to end compartment... Ppl who visit my blog, hope u all oso find this interesting.... Though i may appear a little stupid...

=)

许久的一个笔录

时间是三月十九日2007，我决定在这一天把生命中重要的决定写下来。距离毕业还有两个月左右，而我始终一事无成，对于前途事业感到迷惘。那天，老爸的好友忽然间去世了，三天前才刚和老爸聚会，三天后竟远离人世。妈听到这个消息也吓了一跳。那天晚上，他们对我说：人生无常，所以要做什么赶快去做，要不然没有机会了。

听了我就不知道做什么了。其实，我对舞蹈真的没有天分，我是否真的应该全心全意投入舞蹈工作？还是安安稳稳地当Deloitte的Auditor? 一个有稳定的收入，一个没有。一个是只要肯值夜班，熬通宵，过了五年，一定会有金钱回报。另一个则不知是否能养活自己，更不要说养活家庭。其实，我到底该如何抉择？我不想选择，因为我知道两个选择都会严重影响我接下来会过什么样的生活。常言道：男怕入错行，女怕嫁错郎。

我真的不知如何是好。。。。。舞蹈虽然使我常常很开心很充实，但同样的，它也造成了我许多的不快。我不是出类拔萃的舞蹈家，我是否该投身于舞蹈工作呢？

Huayi Festival 07/ Movies / Music
(Countdown of 4 mths to worklife)


Time is 6 Mar 07. Recently spent alot of time on performances, movies, music etc. Last yr at Huayi Festival, i went to watch Fei Chang Ma Jiang (Mahjong), Cursive by Cloud Gate DT. This yr i went to watch An Lian Tao Hua Yuan and B.O.B The Final Cut.... Movies & DVD wise, i watched quite alot, did some catching up with the current/ past movies; Dreamgirls, Take The Lead, BoA Best of Soul concert, Luna Sea Final Act concert, Coyote Ugly. Did not watch The Protege by Andy Lau, Follow Law by Jack Neo, sianz....

But recently life is abit siao, kinda lost of direction liao, dunno what to do.... Last sem coming to an end, work life gonna start, i oso dunno now can do what... juz keep playing & playing but nothing concrete seems to be done.... Am i living my life the way it shld be? What exactly did i miss out?

Recently went to attend GE courses, realized tt i continue to learn alot, but OTOH, all these knowledge dunno got use or not lei.. Im happy learning it, but apparently its such a pity i got no opportunity to put these knowledge into use.... Shld i juz carry on like a clown, enjoying every moment & day of my life, but nothing concrete comes out of it, OR shld i go do something concrete out, but yet may not be enjoying the process though...?

How shld i live my life for the next coming 4 mths?
Time is early Mar, July start work.... Dance is coming to an end....

End of Entry

2007 CNY Coming (Where is the Prestige of being a NHDS dancer?)

Life is such, CNY is coming, Valentines' juz passed... Sigh... Time is 16Feb. My injury is giving me more & more probs liao, cant even determine if its remeuthism or injury... Jia lat, dunno still can dance till when? Life is hard on me, gotta struggle on...

Back to NH; a place i once could go back in the past whenever i feel down, now is no longer the same. Of cos everything in this world changes with time, but changes can be for the better too, unfortunately NHDS is changing simply from bad to worse. Things juz cant function la, now left wei hong & sam doing all the work liao, the rest are like virtual? Jie yim dunno what she busy with, the 1990 batch oso like totally invisible one, haiz..... NHDS cannot make it liao, I mean during Paul & wei hong era, still got grads to help "extinguish the fire" but now dun haf liao, and the TIC is worse lor, last time it was bad, now its worse.... Clearly, being a NH dancer has almost lost all its prestige. Whats the point now liao?

Back in sch, u haf kids competing & being uncooperative simply becos they feel they better than the seniors? The exco having such a bad time la.... Respect and stuff are not built on dance skills la... Dunno if they know what is respect? NHDS is getting harder & harder to manage... Hmmm, wonder is it cos i old liao, no much more drive & motivation? Anyway, my last try in helping this batch ba... Im quite sure next batch no chance liao... Hahaha got so many AP ppl, wanna help them they oso wont appreciate...

Things dun look postitive ah, Grads dun behave like grads, juniors dun behave like juniors, TIC dun behave like TIC...

Anyway, CNY is coming so shall F*** care everything first, aft holiday then say.... hahaha

End of Entry

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

New Post of 2007

Time is now 27 Jan 2007, A start of a new year, this is my final sem in Uni, will be working in DT after graduation, i wonder how my life will be transformed into.... Sigh.... No life..

Things are still pending now, lots of things are... This sem is rather happy, rather free to adjust my own timing, fill up my free time with things i like to do... =) Its alright, quite satisfied, but things gonna turn ugly after Graduation i suppose...
Wonder if Yingying can really help me? If yes, then the chances of the ideal of what Hui qun told me may actually be able to come true... =D Hahaha, Hai Die....

But anyway, if all things collapse and fall thru, then dance can only be a thing of the past liao... Sobz.... =( Things not optimistic, family income is zero, gotta support mum & dad asap, DT is a safe choice but not my ideal choice... Lets just see how things goes ba....

All i can say to God/ Destiny, is tt: I haf tried my best, i worked hard amidst all the constraints i am given; Yes, tt may not be my best effort, i could haf participated in more competitions, signed up for more dance classes, but this is what i haf worked hard amidst all the constraints, hence i am/ have to be willing to accept whatever consequences of my choices...

Start of 2007

Prelude to Essay 12 : When did your heart stop loving me?

Well, Yes Finally finished my 12th essay aft a damn long time... Sorry no ling gan & no feelings, no time to do due to exams & dance at NHDS, so finally can sit down within these 2 weeks to complete this... This time, dun treat this as an essay, instead treat it as a song... Realize i wrote 'Prelude' instead of 'Foreword'? Cos i treated this as a song, which is why its length is relatively short....

As usual, readers feel free to comment... The ling gan of this product comes from 2 songs; namely my current blog song; "Its gonna be alright" by Shinhwa & "Just Like Now" by Kang Ta. The lyrics for Kang Ta's song are listed below... The song is v touching, i got the feelings by listening to a song whose language i dun understand, can u imagine how touching KT's voice is? I mean to touch some1's heart where he cant even understand what u singing, his vocals are really super good lah, its injected with life & soul..... =) Personally i like the last 2 paras of this product, felt tt i ended it a smooth way, readers how abt u?
Readers, u able to spot which are the words may be used for a chorus? =) some phrases are used repeatedly in this essay/song cos i deliberately wish to create a 'chorus effect' though i dunno successful or not lah...... =p

(Just Like Now) By: Kang Ta

The moment I first saw you, my heart stopped.
It was as if all my many lonely days were spent waiting for you...

I just can't believe that you are standing right before my eyes.
It has started for me...from the moment you and I first met today...

The coming bright morning, the shining/gleaming afternoon, even the dark night...
They will also be happy because of you...

Even my lonely days which I struggled through for so long...just wandering about...
Since you're here now, I'm sure it won't be the case anymore...

Your oh so lovely appearance and my feelings for you...I wish they go on forever...
May this very moment right now be forever...as I take care of you

End of prelude

When did your heart stop loving me?

雪不断地落下，我披着雪白色的外套，望着纷飞的雪花，感叹着岁月的飞逝。。。冷冷的风迎面向我刮来，但却远不及内心的寒冰。此时此刻，你不在身边，我不知所措。孤独的日子依旧持续不断，似乎快忘了当初相遇时的情形，但是桃花依旧、人事已非。。。。

至今你已身在何处？不知现在是谁在握着那双温柔的手、亲吻那柔软的双唇？那个已不再出现在我面前的倩影，我依然深深思念着，是我错。。。面对这个冬天，阳光无法驱走寂寞，残留下来的依然是那脆弱的心灵，挥之不去的痛。即将来临的黎明、明媚的清晨、褪色的黄昏、冷酷孤寂的黑夜，它们都为你而动容，在每个思念你的一天。记忆已似乎没有存在的价值，但还是在内心深处徘徊着。。。

白色玫瑰是你的最爱，在这个色彩缤纷的世界，你对白色、红色情有独钟。飘逸的头发总是散发着迷人的芳香。两口子总是以双“单词”对话，仿佛有如婴孩呀呀学语。喜欢你总是对 Toy Toy念念不忘，喜欢听小猪与大灰狼的故事，喜欢你常在我手臂咬上一口，喜欢你总是看到婴儿就浑然忘我，喜欢和你一起共享绿茶口味的雪糕，喜欢“鹿鹿与抱抱”，喜欢在你生病时陪你去看医生，喜欢在你不开心时陪在你身旁。。。

快乐的时光总是不长久，那一点一滴的欢乐会长存我心中，陪我度过每一个孤寂的冬天。从春夏至秋冬，我还是找不到你的身影，没有人可以像你。离开你是一种煎熬，知道我在你生命中出现得不是时候；在你离去的那一刻，白色玫瑰枯萎了，落下的眼泪随即凝结成冰，沙钟里的流沙也流尽了，点唱机的最后一曲也到了曲终人散的阶段。。。 在你离去的那一刻，黑夜降临、黑夜白昼已无分别，时钟的秒针停止转动，心跳的旋律不再美妙。。。。

在过去的记忆里寻找你，逐渐成了一个习惯，从春夏至秋冬。睡梦中的我依旧听见你甜美的歌声，那把只存在梦境里的歌声。即将来临的黎明、明媚的清晨、褪色的黄昏、冷酷孤寂的黑夜，在醒来的这一天，请容许我再爱你多一天。。。

Love is...... Don't worry about me Girl, I'm gonna be alright..............

End of Song

Your EQ is 160

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

In Appreciation to those ppl ard me who believed in me

时间是26 NOV 2006, 今天在PA做舞蹈, 依旧面对那些让我心灰意冷的事, 当然一切都是重蹈覆辙. 对于这些事, 我虽已司空见惯, 但还是会影响我的心情. 不过呢, 在此每次都因舞蹈而悲伤的我, 想对周围的人说声: 谢谢你们!!
时代已不同, 我懂的东西已经似乎不被现在的年轻人接受...... 无助的我真的非常感谢所有在我身旁的人, 谢谢你们仍然相信我的理念, 我的那一套学说....

舞蹈在PA 已经非昔日时的情况, 所以我真的唯有凭自己的努力走下去, 真的不知会变怎么样, 但真的谢谢现今周围的人, 因为有你们的信任, 我才会一直坚持自己的理念.
Honestly i just suddenly thot of what Jeff Tan taught me: Arts (whether visual arts, musical arts, performing arts, digital art etc) in its finest form, is usually not understood by most ppl. If u really want, then just do it, as to whether what are the critics/ audience comments, they are not important. Whether u make it big or not, is really dependent on Time & Culture. The flair for arts is a black/white situation, no grey. Its either u haf it, or u dun.... It cant be trained/ nutured......
Its the harsh truth.

Come to think of what he say, hmmm.... maybe really v true.... Sigh..... Unfortunately, i dun haf it but still wish to do it..... 简直是飞蛾扑火.......

执着的我

飞蛾扑火

THE PRESTIGE

Time is Nov 9 2006, as usual an all time low period in my life.. Everytime i thot this was the lowest, it always gets lower again.... haizz.... Life is hard on me, or maybe simply becos i not strong enough? Dunno who to blame, what to do, i can only constantly remind myself that i m already v fortunate to haf whatever i haf now, cos all these r not granted... Maybe i may be born in a third world country next life, where i dun even haf $$ to buy food, how to worry whether my life is happy/ successful/ eventful or not... But sincerely i do wish to say: Being appreciative is appreciative, sincerely deep down inside im still unhappy, and i know the unhappiness is brought by myself, so i got no choice... Cos i Kan bu kai, Fang Bu Xia, too stuborn, so bring abt unhappiness... I mean: becos i kan bu kai, so yah lor, gotta accept & endure the unhappiness in my life lor... Its a matter of choice & consequences ba..... Haizzz.... Hopefully thru this sighing, i can get rid of all my unhappiness =)

This entry is to talk abt the movie: THE Prestige, as well as some insights as to what this movie has influenced me...
First & foremost, this movie is really deep & lots of underlying meaning, depending on how u wish to interpret the movie and also how u wish to apply those principles to ur own life... few weeks haf passed since i watched tt movie, and yet i still haf not finished discovering ALL the interpretations, Damn deep, damn good movie sia....

Shant bore this entry with all the technical analysis & critique of this movie, shall do it when i more free next time... Next, is to write down something tt has an impact in my life, the critical sentence mentioned in the movie: OBSESSION IS A YOUNG MAN'S GAME
Well, yup many times i m unhappy is perhaps due to this sentence? not tt i shld regard myself old & dun care anymore abt anything since obsession is a young man's game, but yah, since it is detrimental to me, perhaps i shld follow this good advice & give up on some obsession?

Dance has always been my passion, but i dunno since when, dancing in DI is no longer fun... Becos of the UNI production, things are getting v ugly there, everytime i read the emails from DI, everytime i witness the ppl booking the studios & the dancers, i can see ugly things.... Dance can no longer be the way i enjoy it, hence an all time low for me in life.... In addition, any efforts by me to extend my dance life is being destroyed or spoiled by perhaps fate? i dunno what to classify that but yah......

Frenz who know tt i applied for that job is still pending right? F*** it lor, so now my dreams/ideal seems shattered cos BIG 4 is coming in already... I have to decide by Dec if not next yr grad then no more job vacancy liao... & yet F*** thing is audit is not life i want, not tt i hate audit, its juz tt if i go audit, i gotta give up all my other talents lei, Hello its ALL!!!!!!
Dance, Theatre & Drama, Chinese Studies, Cinemotography, everything.....

So yup, i dunno what Life has installed for me in the future, i dunno how im going to spend the rest of my life.... All i can know is perhaps give up obsession may make me a happier man? Suddenly recall a song by Moon Hee Jun, Alone.... That song is so meaningful =)

LIFE

Food for thought

The entire entry this time, i copied it from Juncheng's blog, so to recognise the copyright, credits to Juncheng. I took these cos i felt they were meaningful, not necessary definitely correct but some food for thought.. I remembered the first time i read it few weeks/months ago, i found it v interesting, so copied it over here, so tt i can go thru now & then or even when i get older.... =)

1) dare to try and venture
it is of human nature to be curious. however, this curiousity wears off as we proceed on in life due to the falls we experienced and the pain we endured. it becomes our instinct to be cautious of every little risks and dangers that may revolve around the things that appears as strangers to us. but how are we going to live life to the fullest and live meaningfully when your life would be trapped and isolated off in a fantasy world of your own, just like a sealed crate sealing your fate as a mundane, monotonous and mechanical life. sometimes for some things we do in life there is just no time to ponder whether it would be feasible to approach something in some ways, for time and chance waits for no one and at times once gone, it is gone for good. taking a rational risk in lifemay just bring you surprises that you might not have dreamt of and expected.

2) enjoy and don't compare
everyone is unique, and so are their life. so how are we suppose to compare and for what, when there are billions of living people on this Earth and everyone have a different kind of happiness as well as problems. unless you are a god who is supposedly perfect, we should look at life in a accepting way. if that's Fate and nothing can be done to change it, anger and tears ain't going to bring us anywhere. rather, why not take things in our stride and just let it go? enjoy life as it is, 'cos you would not understand how blessed you are until you let every single happenings seeps through your soul and accept your destiny the way it is. as long as you are happy, that is your own paradise.

3) simplicity rocks
we are exposed to everything and anything under the sun, be it good or bad. we lost our innocent mind we used to have as a child and learnt how to think. however, the more we think, the more complex things get. the more we treat life as a problem and the more we try ways and means to solve it, it ended up messier than it was. why not be simple for once? there are many different shades of blue we know of, from bright to dull. when asked to describe blue, most would ponder which one is the purest and most basic form of blue? same with our life. we get lost as we try to change and adapt for the better, yet at he same time the more we learn, the more we think, the more we change, the more confused we get. we lose our way, we lose our identity, and we even lose our soul at point of time, banishing ourselves into a nobody. we are who we are, and we just need to be ourselves and the most natural and best form to be a somebody attractively unique.

4) don't give up too fast
stress, failures, obstacles...all these have contributed to our disappointments and frustrations once and again. they will never stop coming until the day you vanish from the surface of this world. if that is so, why bow to the demon that tripped you so hard? fight it! we lack of perserverance, as one would often give the excuse that one failure after another has beaten the morale and and worn patience out. "you'll never fail until you stop trying", and that is an attitude we ought to hold when dealing with daily life problems. you will eventually reap what you sowed and enjoy that sweetness of success in life.

5) treasure whatever you have
humans always fail to treasure their precious in life until they lose them. some things comes along once, unless time rewinds you will not find a exact duplicate of it ever again. appreciate what you have in life, and be thankful to things around you. even if it is something bad, be positive about it. learn to love it as a experience gained as well as an important lesson for your life, for without it in future encounters you will lack the skills to face it. express your appreciation as well as your concerns to the loved ones around you before its too late in this ever unpredictable life, be it friends, kins or even if he or she is just an acquaintance. make someone's day, and one day someone will just make your day.

Copyright from Juncheng's blog

Beachboys <<海滩男孩>>

时间是2006 年九月，我已是大学生。认识我的朋友，与我电邮沟通的人都知道我的地址是Beachboys。这个电邮址是从1998年伴随我到现在。将来它也还是有存在的意义。到底Beachboys的意义在哪里？

出生在我那个年代的人应该对哈日风熟悉吧！Beachboys，海滩男孩，是日剧的戏名，是由反町隆史、竹野内丰、广末凉子主演的。剧情我就不在这儿多说了，主要的是；竹野内丰是一个放弃高薪职位的商业精英，来到海边的民宿寻找不一样的生活。反町隆史则是一位无所事事的青年，看似没出息，但他其实曾是国家队的首号游泳健将，因受伤而退出，他一样来到民宿寻找他理想中的生活方式。民宿是广末凉子的爷爷经营的，而她也住在那儿。这部戏用了海洋来比喻许多人生的哲理。

这部戏在我十五岁时已在我脑海里留下了深深的印象。我到底要过什么样的生活？这辈子应如何度过？因此，每当我生活不如意时，看看<<海滩男孩>>，听听它的原声带总是能让我平伏心中的忧郁。生活方式有千百种，应该没有人可以对我的生活价值提出质疑。。。。虽然我生活不如意，没有任何成就可言，读书、才智、舞蹈、才华，我真的好像什么都没有，但我还是真的希望可以活出一个精彩的人生。 若有人问我，你理想的生活方式是什么，我很天真的说：其实就是<<海滩男孩>>里的那种生活方式。

在戏里，广末凉子的爷爷在最后一集对两位男主角说：这是属于我的海洋，不是你们的。你们应该去寻找自己的海洋。而Beachboys 的经典句子就是“寻找自己的海洋”。可悲的是我至今都没有找到自己的海洋，或许新加坡真的不适合我吧？

我很喜欢大海的原因也是由Beachboys启发的。我没想到海洋原来可以反映那么多的人生观。我喜欢海洋给我带来的那种平静。想想，我也好久没到海边去了，好吧，就在这个星期的学校假期，选个晚上到那儿去走走，吹吹海风 =) 我很希望自己可以活得很好，我想我可能真的不适合商业社会的勾心斗角吧？想到一年后，我的职业，我就总是闷闷不乐。。。

我的海洋究竟在哪里？海洋或许可算是最能慰藉我受伤的内心的治疗，虽然我承认它治标不治本。海洋真的对我很重要，对我有深远的意义。希望从此以后，身边的朋友们也都会知道Beachboys 对我有何含意。=) <<海滩男孩>> 会永远存活在我心中。。。。

End of Entry

Shinhwa concert 2006 in Singapore

Time is 15 Sep 2006, Shinhwa concert was on 10 Sep, but now then i got time to do an entry. Actually still no time one, juz tt i decided to forgo study time to blog an entry. Well, if u can recall, in 2006, my last yr NTU, final yr Acc, i m v unhappy this yr. Things are not going well and they juz seem to get worse. Juz look at this entry, i willing to forgo time to study oso wanna blog, u can imagine how wilful & unhappy i m. Precisely its like, the work & other social factors make my life so mizerable, i already wanna F*** care alot of things liao, tt's y wilfully wanna blog instead of studying for AA306 & AA304. Nbz, got quiz next week i still so wilful. I think any reader can see tt my mood is damn bad liao =(

Okie, back to topic. Shinhwa's concert in Singapore. Yup, the first Korean Band/ Artist to hold a concert in Singapore. All i can say is: they are the longest running band still exsistent(nv disband yet) in the history of Kpop, and there is a reason for this. Cos they are all too talented. U put them together, u get a super combi which u can nv search for anywhere else. And yet, they are so talented, they can advance in their solo careers as well, but juz nv disband. So in team & individually, they all excel. Damn good. H.O.T is oso v good, maybe even better than Shinhwa, but pity they disbanded due to musical differences. Cos Kang Ta likes Jazz/ Bossa Nova genre more, Hee Jun likes Rock, and the Jae Won, Tony, Woo Hyuk still prefers Rap & Hip Hop. So it really ain't easy to keep a band united...

So the performances were great, but i think due to Fatigue, the performance was rather below par, at least compared to their concerts held in Korea. But still i wanna blog an entry cos i hope tt when i old tt time , still can remember when did i go for a Korean Concert. =)

The songs by them:
Perfect man, Hey Come on, Hero, Angel, I pray for u, Only one, Wild eyes, Once in a Lifetime, Brand New, Your Man, Shooting star, Ended the concert with :How do i Say

Some songs i forgot liao, so didnt manage to blog, but according to straits times, they sung 19 songs, which i lost count.... Actually wish to blog abt a critique of their performane, but i really realize tt i really not mood today. Thinking back, actually i have been in a low mood since my Uni days started...
Depression juz cannot leave me, and it juz ends up in a viscous cycle. The longer depression stays with me, the more my depression becomes. The more the magnitude, the longer it stays and everything juz repeats... I oso dunno why & how come i become lidat?

End of Entry

Taiwan Trip (Part 2)

Well, for part 2 of the entry, i simply wish to jot down where i went during the 6 day trip. Strictly speaking, its a 5 day trip lah, cos last day was nothing, i think juz queueing up for S.H.E qian chang hui, then went to this v nice restaurant called Coke Forest, ie. Coca Cola Forest lah, serving food equivalent to Swensen's or Breko etc.

So lets start from Day 1

After reaching Taipei and settling at the hotel, it was already night time. So we took there Kuai Tie (our MRT equi) to Shi Da Night Market. Had lots of food there, something worth mentioning is the Dessert there, yup the ice kachang kinda dessert. Fen Yuan Dou Hua (AKA Bubble Tea Pearls + Dou Hua) is something u gotta try, =) though i had even better deserts at i think Rao He Jie Night Market (siao liao, start to forget liao) better jot down everything b4 i suffer from STM.....

Day 2

Wah, shiong this day is damn shiong.... Went to Yang Ming Shan National Park. In the end becos we took a diff bus and landed on the other side of the hill, we went up from west to the sub-peak (note: is sub-peak hor, didnt even go to peak, cos too shiong) and came down from the east... End up like Chiong Sua, back to army days... Haha, was a great exp, but i think no more next time... hahaha.... really lah, the feeling like army, gotta water break, take rest etc. cannot one shot finish the whole trip... Shiong =p

Aft tt, we went Dan Shui & Yu ren Harbour, haha... That was where i got my most prized item in this whole trip... All my doraemon soft toys, not available in Singapore one... Hahaha, bought so many of them... Haha and now tt im back, i kinda regret didnt buy more.. Was afraid kanna scolded by parents 4 spending on these type of things, but in the end, Haha, they loved toys so much, they ask me why nv buy More? hahaha, so happy....
Oh then at Yu ren Harbour, it was v nice & romantic, too bad no girlfriend, if not it would have served a v meaningful memory. Went to the Lovers' bridge, scenery is so nice....

Lastly went over to Shi Lin Night Market... Wah piang, come to think of it, we so zai lor, one day go 4 places.... Hahaha... Shi Lin Night market was good, got so many shops and food, but we didnt haf enough time, so in end we went back there again on i think the 4th day... Haha

Day 3

Haha damn shiok, this was the best day/ best place i went this time... Went to Jiu Fen and Ji Long Miao Kou. Haha Jiu Fen was really fun & peaceful & calming... We went there walked ard, and most imptly, we went to Chinese Tea House, the tea, ambience, scenery was totally perfect. & i muz emphasize: The Yu Yuan (Yam Balls) Dessert is like so nice lor... Haha, thinking of it makes me hungry again =p
After a long day, we ended up at Ji Long Miao Kou... Wahaha, dun ask me what i had for dinner.. All i can say is tt its a sumptous meal much cheaper than in Singapore, but still its a little unappetitizing... =p

Day 4

Day 4 nothing special, was a shopping day. Went to the CKS Memorial Hall but aft tt it was all shopping. like i said, me & frenz went back to Shi Lin to shop, and we finally got to try the XL size Chicken Cutlet for only S$2.50. So damn cheap & nice.... Delicious Sia....

Day 5

We ended up at Wu Fen Pu & Rao He Jie Night Market... Wu Fen Pu is the Bugis Street of Singapore? The fashion sense there is quite zai, even if u dun buy anything (highly unlikely though) u really get to learn how to match ur clothes (if u dunno how to play mix & match), juz by looking at the shops' displays. Even for dancer like me, i get to learn how to design clothings for stage purposes, not only everyday dressing... This simply shows tt Taiwanese dress more elaborately than Singaporeans, the fashion there is much more interesting... =)
Rao He Jie Night Market, whats worth mentioning is again Dessert & one more Zai shop than our Singapore $1 shop.
Dessert serving is scary lor, i had Glass Jelly+Dou Hua+Yu Yuan. In the end, i think the auntie used half a cube of ICE for my bowl... Siao, damn big ah... Hahaha....
Oh then shop, pls lah, what is $1 shop man? There the shop is selling off all things such as bigs, wallets and other misc stuff like what u see in Singapore $1 shop for juz $10 NT which equates to S$0.50. Madness right? Me & frenz see liao oso stunned... =p

Okie written so much, i think readers oso sian, so i shall not indulge in my Taiwan trip thingy. Jotted all these down juz to remind myself where i went... Aft all the events i did, i can recall with the help of all those photos taken, so yup, tt's all... =)

Next entry i may then add my comments/feelings/thots/interesting events on taiwan trip =)

End of Entry