Funeral Wake
Back from a Funeral Wake. Actually is Bao Shun Lao Shi's dad who passed away. Then almost the CDAA committee was there juz now, had a short chat, got to update some stuff regarding the Finance of CDAA, and any outstanding matters. After that, ppl left le...
Hence wise, here back i m at home, update some of my work. All i wish to say is: Tired & Fatigue.. Usually i dun blog abt everyday stuff in my blog cos i said, this is a paperless collection of my memories, so tt when im old and read back, i can relive my memories. I dun like to blog abt everyday trival stuff which has no meaning....
But i chose to blog today/ right now becos... The 2 things i wish to blog in this entry is juz:
1) Fatigue and Tiredness... If there are frenz out there, pls continue to support me, there is a need to carry on. Though NDP really take up too much time and resources, admin etc....
2) I Miss You.................
Im so tired, i wish to fall.....
Monday, April 07, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Busy Weekend
This weekend was the one with Good-Fri, so i had a long weekend. It was really busy and enjoyable. Thanx so much Sam for everything u organized. Well, i think Zhenyu/Sam mentioned tt we are getting old, hence less happening? Hmmm, i think it may be true but then less happening doesnt mean less enjoyable? i Still kinda enjoyed myself, the quietness, the clamness and most of all, the chance to get away from work.... (partially only la, in the end still end up working for a short while).
Juz returned from PA- DIY not long ago, wah piang the pracitice is really shiong.. shall continue this type of prac till we get back the stamina & skill. Then again, i wish tt the ppl there can work on their showmanship leh... but all these push back till the opportunity is right ba.... Ok, tml still gotta work so i shall stop blogging le, v tired..
But i still wish to say: This weekend was an enjoyable one for me..... Both the fri, sat & sun...
Thank you frenz out there, u all are really great!!!!
This weekend was the one with Good-Fri, so i had a long weekend. It was really busy and enjoyable. Thanx so much Sam for everything u organized. Well, i think Zhenyu/Sam mentioned tt we are getting old, hence less happening? Hmmm, i think it may be true but then less happening doesnt mean less enjoyable? i Still kinda enjoyed myself, the quietness, the clamness and most of all, the chance to get away from work.... (partially only la, in the end still end up working for a short while).
Juz returned from PA- DIY not long ago, wah piang the pracitice is really shiong.. shall continue this type of prac till we get back the stamina & skill. Then again, i wish tt the ppl there can work on their showmanship leh... but all these push back till the opportunity is right ba.... Ok, tml still gotta work so i shall stop blogging le, v tired..
But i still wish to say: This weekend was an enjoyable one for me..... Both the fri, sat & sun...
Thank you frenz out there, u all are really great!!!!
End of entry (1)
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Audit Peak...
Ha, guess what's the time now? N i just reached home, finished bathing... didnt feel like sleeping anyway abt 3 hrs later i gotta wake up go work again... This is life of an auditor la.... Though i not everyday work till this late but yup, this is the type of life i'll have to live with for the next few years....=(
So quiet at this moment, the wind breezes pass my room, im listening to my blog song... Everything seems so peaceful... Its really nice, too bad it gonna end in 3 hrs where i gotta work again, and the working life starts once again, with no rest for ppl till u drop sick.. Which i really saw so many of my colleagues take sick leave and try to siam the peak. Anyway, its no use la, the best is to use Reservist to siam the peak... Confirmed can one, cos private sector dun dare to go against government anyway... =p
Life's hard but then again, cos i work so late, i return home late, i witness the quietness and peace of the midnight... So cold, i yearn for a hug....
Ha, guess what's the time now? N i just reached home, finished bathing... didnt feel like sleeping anyway abt 3 hrs later i gotta wake up go work again... This is life of an auditor la.... Though i not everyday work till this late but yup, this is the type of life i'll have to live with for the next few years....=(
So quiet at this moment, the wind breezes pass my room, im listening to my blog song... Everything seems so peaceful... Its really nice, too bad it gonna end in 3 hrs where i gotta work again, and the working life starts once again, with no rest for ppl till u drop sick.. Which i really saw so many of my colleagues take sick leave and try to siam the peak. Anyway, its no use la, the best is to use Reservist to siam the peak... Confirmed can one, cos private sector dun dare to go against government anyway... =p
Life's hard but then again, cos i work so late, i return home late, i witness the quietness and peace of the midnight... So cold, i yearn for a hug....
Late night
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
ICONS - Look back
Finally finished this performance after 6 mths.. Phew.... Cant imagine how i went thru tt.
It was a good experience, made me looked clearly at professional artists, the way they work, their feelings, attitude, stuborness towards arts, their vision and ideals etc. It was much like Lao Jiu back in 2005 but it was more, cos this time my role was more than tt in Lao Jiu so i was expected to turn up for more practices, it was 5-6 days a week lor... Damn freaking shiong, after work muz go for practices, and to think tt i dislocated my elbow then, which eventually resulted me in not able to turn up for practices. Then my role was taken over by Andy Cai (of Soul Fusion). But this one really muz hand it to him, he does the steps so much better than me.... =)
Anyway, let's talk abt the experience this time. This let me witness the artisitic attitude of professional artists with 100% artistic vision and no regards of audience. This was much more than TTP's Lao Jiu, cos Lao Jiu was a musical, hence it cared abt the audience, this time this performance totally bo chap the audience. I think Art is really something ppl give their lives to?
The ppl i work with are totally professional from head to toe and tt they were so different from DIY ppl. But then, becos everyone of them is so zai, tt certain attitude hinders us from dancing together. The Zhen Qi Du was poor, really poor.
This experience really made me a better person, in terms of experience, technique, mental strength and lastly..... Enlightment abt the arena of Dance (at least in Singapore). Its an experience being able to dance with members from Soul Fusion, Platinum, students & even teachers from La Selle, NAFA... I was totally immersed into another world, of cos me being the lousiest... But then, i saw the other side of the world in Singapore.... Enlighement was what i gained most out of this performance and lengthy rehearsal duration of 6 mths.
Enlightment:
Artists can do anything, willing to pay any price juz to do the things they want.
Artists work super duper hard, physically, mentally and intellectually....
Amidst the dance, many a times artists forget why they are dancing, and what they are dancing for....
Life is short, especially more so for Dance Artistes.
The apprentices/ protege of Mr Low dunno how Lucky & fortunate they really are. Unfortunate that they nv in the least bit realize/unleash their potential to advance in the careers...
Towards the end of the perf, i was really happy, quite happy tt i went thru the tough times with these dancers, there was really a feeling of relief & happiness. Whatsmore, being in Drama Centre again brings me memories of the past in 2005 when Lao Jiu was screened. Ironically, back then i was injured too, by Yongxuan, haha a kick in the ribcage. Then this time, a dislocated elbow. Seems like me and Drama Centre no fate..... Haizz.....=p
After all these, i had a clearer look at the Singapore Dance arena, oso know the direction tt DIY is heading/ should be heading.. I will always try my best to assist Lao Shi now tt i understand even clearer e rationale for his ideals/ artistic vision etc.
If any DIY members chance upon my blog and read this entry, please offer your assistance (in any way) to me.... I believe tt DIY really needs you all to be able to make it, otherwise will really CMI one....
As long as some1 is willing to help, Im really appreciative...
How many ppl will offer their assistance to DIY i wonder?
When will DIY make it? DIY is need of committed dancers......
Finally finished this performance after 6 mths.. Phew.... Cant imagine how i went thru tt.
It was a good experience, made me looked clearly at professional artists, the way they work, their feelings, attitude, stuborness towards arts, their vision and ideals etc. It was much like Lao Jiu back in 2005 but it was more, cos this time my role was more than tt in Lao Jiu so i was expected to turn up for more practices, it was 5-6 days a week lor... Damn freaking shiong, after work muz go for practices, and to think tt i dislocated my elbow then, which eventually resulted me in not able to turn up for practices. Then my role was taken over by Andy Cai (of Soul Fusion). But this one really muz hand it to him, he does the steps so much better than me.... =)
Anyway, let's talk abt the experience this time. This let me witness the artisitic attitude of professional artists with 100% artistic vision and no regards of audience. This was much more than TTP's Lao Jiu, cos Lao Jiu was a musical, hence it cared abt the audience, this time this performance totally bo chap the audience. I think Art is really something ppl give their lives to?
The ppl i work with are totally professional from head to toe and tt they were so different from DIY ppl. But then, becos everyone of them is so zai, tt certain attitude hinders us from dancing together. The Zhen Qi Du was poor, really poor.
This experience really made me a better person, in terms of experience, technique, mental strength and lastly..... Enlightment abt the arena of Dance (at least in Singapore). Its an experience being able to dance with members from Soul Fusion, Platinum, students & even teachers from La Selle, NAFA... I was totally immersed into another world, of cos me being the lousiest... But then, i saw the other side of the world in Singapore.... Enlighement was what i gained most out of this performance and lengthy rehearsal duration of 6 mths.
Enlightment:
Artists can do anything, willing to pay any price juz to do the things they want.
Artists work super duper hard, physically, mentally and intellectually....
Amidst the dance, many a times artists forget why they are dancing, and what they are dancing for....
Life is short, especially more so for Dance Artistes.
The apprentices/ protege of Mr Low dunno how Lucky & fortunate they really are. Unfortunate that they nv in the least bit realize/unleash their potential to advance in the careers...
Towards the end of the perf, i was really happy, quite happy tt i went thru the tough times with these dancers, there was really a feeling of relief & happiness. Whatsmore, being in Drama Centre again brings me memories of the past in 2005 when Lao Jiu was screened. Ironically, back then i was injured too, by Yongxuan, haha a kick in the ribcage. Then this time, a dislocated elbow. Seems like me and Drama Centre no fate..... Haizz.....=p
After all these, i had a clearer look at the Singapore Dance arena, oso know the direction tt DIY is heading/ should be heading.. I will always try my best to assist Lao Shi now tt i understand even clearer e rationale for his ideals/ artistic vision etc.
If any DIY members chance upon my blog and read this entry, please offer your assistance (in any way) to me.... I believe tt DIY really needs you all to be able to make it, otherwise will really CMI one....
As long as some1 is willing to help, Im really appreciative...
How many ppl will offer their assistance to DIY i wonder?
When will DIY make it? DIY is need of committed dancers......
Mixed Feelings....
Zhongyi with Dance
Thursday, February 14, 2008
残 - ZAN
这个字现在真的跟我很贴近。除了前途看来一片茫然，爱情一片空白，更贴近的是所有的旧伤。真的很 sian，已经过了大概四个月，右手还是没有好起来。之前好像还 okay，但是最近竟然痛起来。连提起电脑一阵子就会痛，damn shit.... =( 更混蛋的是，可能这些日子粗活都用左手，结果左手的负担可能过重，现在左手也痛。抑或当时双手都有受伤，但左手比较轻伤，这时一直用左手，使到左手和右手的同一的位置也痛。Cui..... Damn cui... Both hands gone...
然后肩膀也是一直僵硬，可能因为天气，所以风湿，所以肩膀也给我问题。。。Damn Shit... Both arms gone, and i can dun need dance liao... F***...
Anyway, today blog this entry is just because the word 残 gave me some 灵感。People always say must 残而不废, I think i gotta think abt how to make myself 残而不废 liao, since im so close to being 残. Started blogging this entry as i was listening to Dir en Grey's song - ZAN, which literally means 残 in Japanese. So yup, Both arms' elbows giving me probs, my shoulders dun belong to me, and there.....
The feeling of 残 feels to close to me, both literally and figuratively...
Sian...
这个字现在真的跟我很贴近。除了前途看来一片茫然，爱情一片空白，更贴近的是所有的旧伤。真的很 sian，已经过了大概四个月，右手还是没有好起来。之前好像还 okay，但是最近竟然痛起来。连提起电脑一阵子就会痛，damn shit.... =( 更混蛋的是，可能这些日子粗活都用左手，结果左手的负担可能过重，现在左手也痛。抑或当时双手都有受伤，但左手比较轻伤，这时一直用左手，使到左手和右手的同一的位置也痛。Cui..... Damn cui... Both hands gone...
然后肩膀也是一直僵硬，可能因为天气，所以风湿，所以肩膀也给我问题。。。Damn Shit... Both arms gone, and i can dun need dance liao... F***...
Anyway, today blog this entry is just because the word 残 gave me some 灵感。People always say must 残而不废, I think i gotta think abt how to make myself 残而不废 liao, since im so close to being 残. Started blogging this entry as i was listening to Dir en Grey's song - ZAN, which literally means 残 in Japanese. So yup, Both arms' elbows giving me probs, my shoulders dun belong to me, and there.....
The feeling of 残 feels to close to me, both literally and figuratively...
Sian...
ZAN
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
1st Entry in 2008
Today is my 1st entry in 2008, didnt blog much in 2007 i guess? at least for essays, it was a total minimum. 1st entry in 2008 what shld i blog abt? Well, actually my life is quite messed-up now, i dunno what to do, its piling on me as the days go by... Getting difficulty in breathing each and every moment... Really v worn out, getting more tired as the days pass...
Perhaps i have nv known tt living as an adult can be so tiring & difficult ba? Life is hard, its painful and work is piling... I lost direction in life, both in work and dance... How to carry on from here?
Enough of moody entries, I juz wish to let off some steam. Cant believe tt actually a wrong job can bring abt an unhappy life... =( It's really kinda draining on my life.... Currently what can still keep me going to work is only when i work with these few ppl whom i would like to mention in my blog.... Kaitlyn Ong, Stacey Goh, Vivian Neo, Zhengxin, Ziqian, Rachel Yong, Lee Ping... Imagine in my company so big, i only have these few ppl whom i consider friendly to me? Of cos there are also some nice seniors ard but perhaps they juz treat me as working colleagues so ya... Something is v wrong.... Sigh....
Kinda respect my parents alot more now tt i know what sh** they been thru in the past 30 yrs perhaps? I believe working conditions & life is much more simpler in the past due to the upbringing of ppl but nvtheless, i believe they still suffer from office politics so ya, the fact tt they can endure 30 odd years makes it so admirable.... I oso dunno how long i can survive... Dun wish to think abt it.... Sianz...
Today is my 1st entry in 2008, didnt blog much in 2007 i guess? at least for essays, it was a total minimum. 1st entry in 2008 what shld i blog abt? Well, actually my life is quite messed-up now, i dunno what to do, its piling on me as the days go by... Getting difficulty in breathing each and every moment... Really v worn out, getting more tired as the days pass...
Perhaps i have nv known tt living as an adult can be so tiring & difficult ba? Life is hard, its painful and work is piling... I lost direction in life, both in work and dance... How to carry on from here?
Enough of moody entries, I juz wish to let off some steam. Cant believe tt actually a wrong job can bring abt an unhappy life... =( It's really kinda draining on my life.... Currently what can still keep me going to work is only when i work with these few ppl whom i would like to mention in my blog.... Kaitlyn Ong, Stacey Goh, Vivian Neo, Zhengxin, Ziqian, Rachel Yong, Lee Ping... Imagine in my company so big, i only have these few ppl whom i consider friendly to me? Of cos there are also some nice seniors ard but perhaps they juz treat me as working colleagues so ya... Something is v wrong.... Sigh....
Kinda respect my parents alot more now tt i know what sh** they been thru in the past 30 yrs perhaps? I believe working conditions & life is much more simpler in the past due to the upbringing of ppl but nvtheless, i believe they still suffer from office politics so ya, the fact tt they can endure 30 odd years makes it so admirable.... I oso dunno how long i can survive... Dun wish to think abt it.... Sianz...
End of entry
孤寂心碎
Sunday, December 23, 2007
距离也是一种美
滴答滴答。。。细雨绵绵而下，犹如那绵绵不断的思念。相见时难别亦难，我真的不知如何面对你。思念紧紧纠缠着我的思绪，想见你，但又不希望因我不定的情绪引起不必要的争执。“你是否感受到我所受的煎熬？”不安的情绪使我无法全心全意地面对你，却又不愿让你伤心。。。
我曾说过：“得不到的东西永远是最好的。”我希望在你眼里的我永远是完美无瑕的，因此才不想见你，以免引起争执或负面的情绪。或许你会误会我不在乎你，其实因我在乎与你在一起，所以完美主义的我才不希望我们的爱情有任何瑕疵。情到浓时情转薄，距离也是一种美。。。
生病的时候感情特别地敏感与脆弱，一件微小的事物可以在心中掀起惊涛骇浪，所有的感觉似乎都被放大了。生病时是很矛盾的。一方面希望有人嘘寒问暖，能细心地喂你吃粥吃药。另一方面却不愿别人看见自己的脆弱，所以要表现得更加坚强，事事亲力亲为。
遥远的他是否听得到我的心声？他是否依旧是最懂我的人？不是每个人都能感应“距离也是一种美”，他呢？Dear, 我渴望你感应得到。。。我内心深处所承受的煎熬，还有加上病魔带给我的痛，早已使我身心交瘁，疲惫不堪。
一丝丝的思念在这时像是一根弦，联系着两人的心。这根悬挂着的弦是否会像断了线的风筝？
滴答滴答滴答，遥远的他在雨中淋湿了--- 仿佛一直在不远处，等待着魂牵梦萦的那个她。。。
滴答滴答。。。细雨绵绵而下，犹如那绵绵不断的思念。相见时难别亦难，我真的不知如何面对你。思念紧紧纠缠着我的思绪，想见你，但又不希望因我不定的情绪引起不必要的争执。“你是否感受到我所受的煎熬？”不安的情绪使我无法全心全意地面对你，却又不愿让你伤心。。。
我曾说过：“得不到的东西永远是最好的。”我希望在你眼里的我永远是完美无瑕的，因此才不想见你，以免引起争执或负面的情绪。或许你会误会我不在乎你，其实因我在乎与你在一起，所以完美主义的我才不希望我们的爱情有任何瑕疵。情到浓时情转薄，距离也是一种美。。。
生病的时候感情特别地敏感与脆弱，一件微小的事物可以在心中掀起惊涛骇浪，所有的感觉似乎都被放大了。生病时是很矛盾的。一方面希望有人嘘寒问暖，能细心地喂你吃粥吃药。另一方面却不愿别人看见自己的脆弱，所以要表现得更加坚强，事事亲力亲为。
遥远的他是否听得到我的心声？他是否依旧是最懂我的人？不是每个人都能感应“距离也是一种美”，他呢？Dear, 我渴望你感应得到。。。我内心深处所承受的煎熬，还有加上病魔带给我的痛，早已使我身心交瘁，疲惫不堪。
一丝丝的思念在这时像是一根弦，联系着两人的心。这根悬挂着的弦是否会像断了线的风筝？
滴答滴答滴答，遥远的他在雨中淋湿了--- 仿佛一直在不远处，等待着魂牵梦萦的那个她。。。
Endless Rain
Endless Thoughts
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
遥远的她
夜阑人静的时候，一个身影依偎在窗边，隐隐透出丝丝的遗憾。冷风无情地刮过，心中的死灰依旧没有复燃。苍白的脸庞，那消瘦的身影，带着一丝遗憾美，在风中摇摆着。不论时间过了多久，秒针不停地转动，还是不见她的倩影。那熟悉的倩影如今显得很遥远，两人的频率是否有偏差？这是否在试试这份爱的真与假？
遥遥万里，两人的距离不知能否经得起时间的考验？转眼之间，两年已过去，他只是日益消瘦，深深被寂寞缠绕着。黑暗的人生，再也感受不到阳光的光与热，遗留下来的只是阵阵的冷风，狠狠地吹打这饥渴的心灵。空虚的心灵，除了遥远的她，还有谁能够将其填满？
遥遥万里，心声是否有偏差？痴痴地在窗边等待，夜夜任由风吹雨打，只为听到她借风声倾诉。“对不起，我真的从来没有想过伤害你，我只愿你会幸福。至于幸福是否来自于我，这一切不重要。”那颗冻结的心是否夏融冬冰？热情若没变，那管它沧桑变化。。。
遥远的她，再也见不着了，伊人却连在梦中都想着抱紧她。在人群中寻寻觅觅，依旧没有答案。平日的不闻不问是否是伪装？其实他的世界只有单一颜色，仿佛患上了全色盲症，而她恰恰是他的唯一色彩。如今遥遥万里，再也等不到她的出现，随着时间的洗礼，心心相印的频率逐渐会出现偏差。人，依旧依偎在窗边，大雨倾盆而下，淋湿了他，亦似浇熄了心中的死灰。
但，热情并没变，那管它沧桑变化。。。
As I sit by the window, writing this song, the Rain outside continues. When I have finished this song, the love still lies in my heart, unfinished..... I lay on my bed, thinking of you...... Yet there, you will no longer be.....
夜阑人静的时候，一个身影依偎在窗边，隐隐透出丝丝的遗憾。冷风无情地刮过，心中的死灰依旧没有复燃。苍白的脸庞，那消瘦的身影，带着一丝遗憾美，在风中摇摆着。不论时间过了多久，秒针不停地转动，还是不见她的倩影。那熟悉的倩影如今显得很遥远，两人的频率是否有偏差？这是否在试试这份爱的真与假？
遥遥万里，两人的距离不知能否经得起时间的考验？转眼之间，两年已过去，他只是日益消瘦，深深被寂寞缠绕着。黑暗的人生，再也感受不到阳光的光与热，遗留下来的只是阵阵的冷风，狠狠地吹打这饥渴的心灵。空虚的心灵，除了遥远的她，还有谁能够将其填满？
遥遥万里，心声是否有偏差？痴痴地在窗边等待，夜夜任由风吹雨打，只为听到她借风声倾诉。“对不起，我真的从来没有想过伤害你，我只愿你会幸福。至于幸福是否来自于我，这一切不重要。”那颗冻结的心是否夏融冬冰？热情若没变，那管它沧桑变化。。。
遥远的她，再也见不着了，伊人却连在梦中都想着抱紧她。在人群中寻寻觅觅，依旧没有答案。平日的不闻不问是否是伪装？其实他的世界只有单一颜色，仿佛患上了全色盲症，而她恰恰是他的唯一色彩。如今遥遥万里，再也等不到她的出现，随着时间的洗礼，心心相印的频率逐渐会出现偏差。人，依旧依偎在窗边，大雨倾盆而下，淋湿了他，亦似浇熄了心中的死灰。
但，热情并没变，那管它沧桑变化。。。
As I sit by the window, writing this song, the Rain outside continues. When I have finished this song, the love still lies in my heart, unfinished..... I lay on my bed, thinking of you...... Yet there, you will no longer be.....
End
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Injured once again, Lost in Faith
Well, recently at home, ppl who know it already, hi, i dislocated my elbow. Well, the incident as to why it happened i dun wish to go into details. The summary is due to some choreographed dance steps with other ppl, they "threw" me onto the floor, which i fell, the force was great and there, i dislocated my right elbow. As it happened too fast, i dunno & dun wish to go into detail whether it was intentional or not, after all, it wont make me recover anyway.
What i sincerely felt in this whole thing is tt I lost faith in the "Almighty Being", I.E whoever is up there, be it God or whatsoever. Why is it Destiny always makes it so hard for me? I simply wish to work hard and dance, and i end up with multiple injuries everywhere. Why cant i be allowed to just work hard and excel? Im juz being hardworking, believing that putting in effort will lead to returns (Im not talking abt proportionate returns). Even if returns are less, as long as they are positive, its ok. But now, I getting negative returns. In fact, after my recovery, i haf to train back my strength, afterwhich is then the improving. So basically everything is back to square one. I believe i will need abt 1 yr to get back everything i lost...
Amidst all these, I will lose flexibility too, which will take donkey of years and PAIN to train back... Tt's the most shitty thing. Next, There will be vitiating factors such as my damn job occupying most of my time in life, leaving me with minimal time to train back my well-being. Come on la, If i haf to work till 3 am everyday, what makes u think tt i will haf time to stretch, warm up and do physiotheraphy training? F*** It!!!
Life sucks at this point of time. As age catches up with me, It's already v hard to keep up the normal training to maintain my physical agility, not to mention Freaking injuries juz bump into my life and make things worse. Life is such, i am doomed and condemned nv to be a dancer. F*** it.... =(
I sincerely lose faith, as life is giving me negative returns when i put in hard work....=(
Well, recently at home, ppl who know it already, hi, i dislocated my elbow. Well, the incident as to why it happened i dun wish to go into details. The summary is due to some choreographed dance steps with other ppl, they "threw" me onto the floor, which i fell, the force was great and there, i dislocated my right elbow. As it happened too fast, i dunno & dun wish to go into detail whether it was intentional or not, after all, it wont make me recover anyway.
What i sincerely felt in this whole thing is tt I lost faith in the "Almighty Being", I.E whoever is up there, be it God or whatsoever. Why is it Destiny always makes it so hard for me? I simply wish to work hard and dance, and i end up with multiple injuries everywhere. Why cant i be allowed to just work hard and excel? Im juz being hardworking, believing that putting in effort will lead to returns (Im not talking abt proportionate returns). Even if returns are less, as long as they are positive, its ok. But now, I getting negative returns. In fact, after my recovery, i haf to train back my strength, afterwhich is then the improving. So basically everything is back to square one. I believe i will need abt 1 yr to get back everything i lost...
Amidst all these, I will lose flexibility too, which will take donkey of years and PAIN to train back... Tt's the most shitty thing. Next, There will be vitiating factors such as my damn job occupying most of my time in life, leaving me with minimal time to train back my well-being. Come on la, If i haf to work till 3 am everyday, what makes u think tt i will haf time to stretch, warm up and do physiotheraphy training? F*** It!!!
Life sucks at this point of time. As age catches up with me, It's already v hard to keep up the normal training to maintain my physical agility, not to mention Freaking injuries juz bump into my life and make things worse. Life is such, i am doomed and condemned nv to be a dancer. F*** it.... =(
I sincerely lose faith, as life is giving me negative returns when i put in hard work....=(
Unknown, Despair, Alost
The End
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Music can change moods
Well, time is 11pm 6 Oct 2007. Got lots of things to be busy with. Basically I have burdens from CDAA, asking me to organize Anyhow Arts & Dance in Unity, which is a freaking CMI thing, i feel. Then i have my audit jobs, coming in will be big assignments next week. And i have rehearsals from MI Arts even on weekdays. Last but not least, every sunday i gotta rush for 3 dance places. Ballet, PA, MI.
This is damn pressurising, but the worst is the CDAA thingy. Cos honestly, CDAA is not something i wanted and it should haf been something tt haf closed down long ago. All the ppl in it are tired, they oso haf their own stuff to be busy with, their passion is long gone, they are not comfortable with working with one another, so why?? I seriously think why hang on to this association if they no longer feel its essential? Can it be done in a more gentlemen way? Simply juz declare tt every1 is tired, henceforth, decide to close the assoc. It will as simple as that. Dun keep complaining & refusing to pump in effort for the assoc.
Its super tiring and im worn out. But still the world continues revolving.
Well, enough for complaining. Let's go into today's topic. Music. It really can change a person's mood. Due to Juncheng's intro, I have once again gone back into X Japan Music. Yoshiki's piano pieces are really good, and im once again visiting X Japan, Luna Sea, Dir en Grey, Glay, Larc en Ciel old pieces. Those bands which r still intact today haf evolved into diff styles, but i still stick to their old styles, basically the visual rock style in the 80s & 90s. Aft 1999, Jrock declined and survivng bands move into diff bandwidths. Eg. Dir en Grey is still intact & i would say they are still super good today, in fact haf achieved international fame. But i still prefer their old style of music - the style influenced by X Japan.
Music really works wonders. Listening to X Japan pieces, really appeal to the dark side of my moods. Thanks so much to e music, it helps to relieve stress. The thing i like abt e Past Jrock music is tt it releases dark energy in a classical way, not like punk rock or heavy metal. It's rock with lots of technical skills needed and combined with orchestra instruments to release a dark, yet classical energy. In Kpop, there is only 1 person who can do tt, Moon Hee Jun. Simply listen to Outside Castle by H.O.T and u will get wat im saying. Dark Energy coupled with classical feel. In fact, Outside Castle is already v pop. Aft Hee Jun went into his solos, his music took a different turn and he has managed to combine rock with classical, releasing a unique sorrowful feel in his music. Talented.
Yoshiki now writes music for UK Violet etc and his lyrics and music are getting darker. Its good but UK Violet is not as technical as X Japan, hence the classical feel is not up to mark. So from rock, we move on to classical & orchestra. This brings me to Yoshiki's album, Eternal Melody II. I have an entry entirely written abt this album i think, but i shan't dwell on it. From Yoshiki, we move on to orchestra, and here i m with a French Musician, Yann Tiersen. Another talented musician with extremely good music. Imagine Korean B-boy crew, Expressions, used his music to do breakdance? A 9 min presentation, totally using Yann Tiersen's classical & orchestra music. Woah!!!! =)
Well, typing an entry all abt these musicians seems boring to my readers. But honestly, if u would just go listen to some of the artists whom i intro, read their lyrics, listen to their music, u will get a v diff feel from the normal poppish music u hear everyday.... Well till next time, I think i will dedicate another entry to all my favourite music artists/ musicians.
Well, time is 11pm 6 Oct 2007. Got lots of things to be busy with. Basically I have burdens from CDAA, asking me to organize Anyhow Arts & Dance in Unity, which is a freaking CMI thing, i feel. Then i have my audit jobs, coming in will be big assignments next week. And i have rehearsals from MI Arts even on weekdays. Last but not least, every sunday i gotta rush for 3 dance places. Ballet, PA, MI.
This is damn pressurising, but the worst is the CDAA thingy. Cos honestly, CDAA is not something i wanted and it should haf been something tt haf closed down long ago. All the ppl in it are tired, they oso haf their own stuff to be busy with, their passion is long gone, they are not comfortable with working with one another, so why?? I seriously think why hang on to this association if they no longer feel its essential? Can it be done in a more gentlemen way? Simply juz declare tt every1 is tired, henceforth, decide to close the assoc. It will as simple as that. Dun keep complaining & refusing to pump in effort for the assoc.
Its super tiring and im worn out. But still the world continues revolving.
Well, enough for complaining. Let's go into today's topic. Music. It really can change a person's mood. Due to Juncheng's intro, I have once again gone back into X Japan Music. Yoshiki's piano pieces are really good, and im once again visiting X Japan, Luna Sea, Dir en Grey, Glay, Larc en Ciel old pieces. Those bands which r still intact today haf evolved into diff styles, but i still stick to their old styles, basically the visual rock style in the 80s & 90s. Aft 1999, Jrock declined and survivng bands move into diff bandwidths. Eg. Dir en Grey is still intact & i would say they are still super good today, in fact haf achieved international fame. But i still prefer their old style of music - the style influenced by X Japan.
Music really works wonders. Listening to X Japan pieces, really appeal to the dark side of my moods. Thanks so much to e music, it helps to relieve stress. The thing i like abt e Past Jrock music is tt it releases dark energy in a classical way, not like punk rock or heavy metal. It's rock with lots of technical skills needed and combined with orchestra instruments to release a dark, yet classical energy. In Kpop, there is only 1 person who can do tt, Moon Hee Jun. Simply listen to Outside Castle by H.O.T and u will get wat im saying. Dark Energy coupled with classical feel. In fact, Outside Castle is already v pop. Aft Hee Jun went into his solos, his music took a different turn and he has managed to combine rock with classical, releasing a unique sorrowful feel in his music. Talented.
Yoshiki now writes music for UK Violet etc and his lyrics and music are getting darker. Its good but UK Violet is not as technical as X Japan, hence the classical feel is not up to mark. So from rock, we move on to classical & orchestra. This brings me to Yoshiki's album, Eternal Melody II. I have an entry entirely written abt this album i think, but i shan't dwell on it. From Yoshiki, we move on to orchestra, and here i m with a French Musician, Yann Tiersen. Another talented musician with extremely good music. Imagine Korean B-boy crew, Expressions, used his music to do breakdance? A 9 min presentation, totally using Yann Tiersen's classical & orchestra music. Woah!!!! =)
Well, typing an entry all abt these musicians seems boring to my readers. But honestly, if u would just go listen to some of the artists whom i intro, read their lyrics, listen to their music, u will get a v diff feel from the normal poppish music u hear everyday.... Well till next time, I think i will dedicate another entry to all my favourite music artists/ musicians.
Music is Soul
Sunday, September 23, 2007
解脱
Time is 23 Sep 07, ain't really happy recently.. Just got news abt a fren who quit her audit job in EY where she had worked only few months? Life's hard for us auditors... The above title of my entry is the latest song on my playlist, Jie Tuo by Li Jiu Zhe (Aka Xiao Pang of the Machi Gang) This song is really nice and the lyrics are so meaningful. Though the song title usually misleads ppl to thinking tt it is the song by A-mei, but nope, this song has its own uniqueness too.
My fren's MSN nick is: Thinking of what i really wanna do in the future, Audit is definitely not for me.
Having read that, i oso dunno what i want. Perhaps, ppl of our generation are too fortunate, hence too self-centred on thinking what I WANT. Its all abt ME, & I etc. My parents generation slog their whole lives out just to make ends meet tt they dun even haf chance to talk abt their dreams & ideals. Which side should i be on? Be a daring person, and go search for my ideals, which may not even come true in a lifetime (Artists usually led a poor life till they r dead, then their works get cherished, Sigh.... Irony), Or just stick by my job everyday and slog my life away in OFFICE? There is no right or wrong, but just tt if i go for dreams etc, it seems impractical & self-centred. I shld be working to support my family, repay all my debts to parents etc, be responsible for their costs of living etc. Life is v brittle, esp mine i think.... Im perhaps just not strong enough.... Then again, whats the definition of "strong"? F*** it lah..
Anyway, all these are just side notes. Basically i just felt like introducing this song to the readers of my blog. Its nice. The lyrics are below and readers out there (if any at all), do take note of the lyrics ya? Many a times, Love happens/ evolves into what is written in the song, so ppl, when dealing with Love, Handle it with care. =)
Time is 23 Sep 07, ain't really happy recently.. Just got news abt a fren who quit her audit job in EY where she had worked only few months? Life's hard for us auditors... The above title of my entry is the latest song on my playlist, Jie Tuo by Li Jiu Zhe (Aka Xiao Pang of the Machi Gang) This song is really nice and the lyrics are so meaningful. Though the song title usually misleads ppl to thinking tt it is the song by A-mei, but nope, this song has its own uniqueness too.
My fren's MSN nick is: Thinking of what i really wanna do in the future, Audit is definitely not for me.
Having read that, i oso dunno what i want. Perhaps, ppl of our generation are too fortunate, hence too self-centred on thinking what I WANT. Its all abt ME, & I etc. My parents generation slog their whole lives out just to make ends meet tt they dun even haf chance to talk abt their dreams & ideals. Which side should i be on? Be a daring person, and go search for my ideals, which may not even come true in a lifetime (Artists usually led a poor life till they r dead, then their works get cherished, Sigh.... Irony), Or just stick by my job everyday and slog my life away in OFFICE? There is no right or wrong, but just tt if i go for dreams etc, it seems impractical & self-centred. I shld be working to support my family, repay all my debts to parents etc, be responsible for their costs of living etc. Life is v brittle, esp mine i think.... Im perhaps just not strong enough.... Then again, whats the definition of "strong"? F*** it lah..
Anyway, all these are just side notes. Basically i just felt like introducing this song to the readers of my blog. Its nice. The lyrics are below and readers out there (if any at all), do take note of the lyrics ya? Many a times, Love happens/ evolves into what is written in the song, so ppl, when dealing with Love, Handle it with care. =)
End of Entry
歌手：李玖哲
歌曲：解脱
爱永远都是难题失去分寸太容易
谁都是凡人不够小心翼翼
有时候忘了珍惜伤害来的太无意
有时爱太急需要空间呼吸
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
Chorus:
如果分离是唯一的解脱
最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过
遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱, 连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
让你哭泣对不起为了爱承受委屈
说过的承诺其实还没忘记
愈是在乎的关系愈是相处不容易
伤害了你我也失去勇气
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱
最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过
遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱, 连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手
还能有什么藉口让爱再回头
多少的爱说不出口
就让时间帮我说话
我一个人拼命挣扎
总比两个人一起难过还好吧
Chorus *
爱着你唯一的解脱
歌曲：解脱
爱永远都是难题失去分寸太容易
谁都是凡人不够小心翼翼
有时候忘了珍惜伤害来的太无意
有时爱太急需要空间呼吸
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
Chorus:
如果分离是唯一的解脱
最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过
遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱, 连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
让你哭泣对不起为了爱承受委屈
说过的承诺其实还没忘记
愈是在乎的关系愈是相处不容易
伤害了你我也失去勇气
争吵愈狠痛愈深刻然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的
如果分离是唯一的解脱
最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过
遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱, 连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着
走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手
还能有什么藉口让爱再回头
多少的爱说不出口
就让时间帮我说话
我一个人拼命挣扎
总比两个人一起难过还好吧
Chorus *
爱着你唯一的解脱
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Life as @ Sep 07
A month has passed since I started work and shant mention the unhappy issues cos as i always say: this blog is a paperless collection of all my memories, i wouldnt want my memories to be filled with worthless stuff when i re-read my blog like perhaps 10-20 yrs down the road?
During this month, as it is off-peak, i still got some time for myself, dun haf to work thru midnights but unfortunately, it didnt mean tt i could knock off on time. Life's hard. I got my first pay and alas!! It was pro-rated and i got a v little amt, which i dunno how im gonna survive for this following month. Frenz out there who still owe me $$, pls return me this time, cos i really really need it. Every single dollar now seems helpful.
Honestly, for this month tt has passed, it wasnt a happy month. All the more, i begining to miss my frenz, all the outings we haf etc. All the dance pracs etc. Dancetitude 07 has ended and i have some personal comments on it. Basically, it can be summarized in juz a sentence. Dance is not all abt Hip Hop only, and i seriously symphathize those ppl who really think tt as long as they know Hip hop, they are good dancers. Hahaha, after dancing for so long, all the more i feel tt i dunno how to dance. Its like what they say: The more u know, the more u realize u dunno.
Hence, i sincerely feel so sad for those MJ ppl who really gets stuck in Hip hop only. After a trip to Sarawak, Kuching, for the dance festival, now that im back, i really realize how much i dunno abt dance. Its so Wah piang.... =( And the irony is tt when i look back at MJ ppl, i realize how much more they dunno, yet thinking tt they do know; Which is the most comical part abt this irony. Honestly Dancetitude in Mitran's item was quite fun, at least the bare minimum there is no politics, no back-stabbing, no bitching ard. We juz dance, and yup even if i cant dance well, I still enjoy the "process" of dancing. That's the enjoyable part. Anyway enough abt MJ, shall move on to another topic.
Dance with the de-funtc Dance Inspiration always turns out to be v tiring. The political issues are killing me and i gotta help sort out the things ya? It's tiring. Worse still, This year's Anyhow Arts at PA which is org by CDAA, Guess what? I kanna arrowed to be the overall Program Planner. Congrats! I gotta write proposals send to ask for funding, coordinate among all the choreographers' items and eventually settle the logistic issue. Dun need ask me ask for help from anyone, becos in the CDAA committee, I am the freaking most junior person. Who to task? Diaozz, i cant possibly task all the senior teachers to do things for me right... Haiz...
Ok, gotta rush back to do my work liao, brought work from office to home to complete. So shall blog again the next time when i free.
A month has passed since I started work and shant mention the unhappy issues cos as i always say: this blog is a paperless collection of all my memories, i wouldnt want my memories to be filled with worthless stuff when i re-read my blog like perhaps 10-20 yrs down the road?
During this month, as it is off-peak, i still got some time for myself, dun haf to work thru midnights but unfortunately, it didnt mean tt i could knock off on time. Life's hard. I got my first pay and alas!! It was pro-rated and i got a v little amt, which i dunno how im gonna survive for this following month. Frenz out there who still owe me $$, pls return me this time, cos i really really need it. Every single dollar now seems helpful.
Honestly, for this month tt has passed, it wasnt a happy month. All the more, i begining to miss my frenz, all the outings we haf etc. All the dance pracs etc. Dancetitude 07 has ended and i have some personal comments on it. Basically, it can be summarized in juz a sentence. Dance is not all abt Hip Hop only, and i seriously symphathize those ppl who really think tt as long as they know Hip hop, they are good dancers. Hahaha, after dancing for so long, all the more i feel tt i dunno how to dance. Its like what they say: The more u know, the more u realize u dunno.
Hence, i sincerely feel so sad for those MJ ppl who really gets stuck in Hip hop only. After a trip to Sarawak, Kuching, for the dance festival, now that im back, i really realize how much i dunno abt dance. Its so Wah piang.... =( And the irony is tt when i look back at MJ ppl, i realize how much more they dunno, yet thinking tt they do know; Which is the most comical part abt this irony. Honestly Dancetitude in Mitran's item was quite fun, at least the bare minimum there is no politics, no back-stabbing, no bitching ard. We juz dance, and yup even if i cant dance well, I still enjoy the "process" of dancing. That's the enjoyable part. Anyway enough abt MJ, shall move on to another topic.
Dance with the de-funtc Dance Inspiration always turns out to be v tiring. The political issues are killing me and i gotta help sort out the things ya? It's tiring. Worse still, This year's Anyhow Arts at PA which is org by CDAA, Guess what? I kanna arrowed to be the overall Program Planner. Congrats! I gotta write proposals send to ask for funding, coordinate among all the choreographers' items and eventually settle the logistic issue. Dun need ask me ask for help from anyone, becos in the CDAA committee, I am the freaking most junior person. Who to task? Diaozz, i cant possibly task all the senior teachers to do things for me right... Haiz...
Ok, gotta rush back to do my work liao, brought work from office to home to complete. So shall blog again the next time when i free.
Not v happy recently
Work is not fun
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Communication is IMPT
Actually language is used to communicate with each other. However, the irony seems tt as more is being spoken, more MIS-communication is caused. So is it best not to speak at all? Till today, then i found out tt the "UNI saga" has not ended and yet even elevated to a next level. Things are going way off. Actually, its really a BIG misunderstanding.
Its hurtful & disheartening to see a 14-yr old troupe juz go like tt, and a long partnership torn. Who caused this? I dunno, i know tt miscommunication caused it. The interesting thing is tt msg/info gets distorted everything it is transferred from one person to another. Original msg may be a whole deal diff from what eventually reaches the intended receiptant. Amidst the transfer of info, there may be malicious parties trying to benefit from the misunderstanding. Hence, it escalates the level of miscommunication. Above all, when the msg finally reaches the receiptant, its v subjective of how it is interpreted. Having studied Drama & Theatre b4, i know its really a whole deal how diff interpretations can be.
Dance seems so dangerous now, i dun even dare to talk to anyone, except for Sam & Zhenyu they all, whom i treat as close frenz. The rest juz seem so dangerous. Everything tt gets out of my mouth now is subjected to all distortions. As long as some1 hears it and decides to upscale it, Tt's e end. And worse still, keeping quiet doesnt help too, cos keeping quiet can be subjected to interpretation as well. It may be interpreted as "He's guilty, ashamed, tt's y dun dare to speak up", or "He trying to act blur only, actually he is the $%^&* person" etc.
This makes me v upset actually. I honestly know tt in the Real Working World ouside there, everything is like tt. Imagine if some1 badmouths u in front of Boss, (not once but many times), gradually Boss will tend to believe tt maybe there is Some truth in the person's remarks. Inevitably, ur yr-end performance appraisal will be affected. Imagine me go to work need to guard against these stuff, now in DANCE, oso haf to like tt? Its so tiring for me. =(
Dance shldnt be this way but I simply dun understand why there r ppl who enjoy creating choas out of nothing. I know tt i go to work need to face such stuff & there's no escaping but in my interest, i oso haf to face these stuff??
Some ppl are juz too dangerous, yet e most scary part is tt nobody realizes they are dangerous, except me. Thereby, even if i do voice out they are malicious, its unlikely tt any1 will believe. Hence, the way i can opt is only to distance myself from them. Hopefully, when they realize tt im not obstructing their path of **"Success & Glory", i can be abstained from being MISUNDERSTOOD.
**The irony is this - what success is there in becoming a troupe's most senior person or tt equivalent? A dance troupe is always non-profitable, hence there is actually no success to mention at all. If u r looking for authority & power, mind u, every1 basically only listens to Mr Low, nobody has authority over anybody, becos this is no longer an ECA back in sch days. So, if power is e objective, then u r oso in the wrong place.
So the issue is - Why back-stab any1 at all? Dance is juz an interest. Pulling down some1 from grace and EVEN replacing tt person eventually, there is no success at all, why go thru all the trouble? So funny, so comical......
Actually language is used to communicate with each other. However, the irony seems tt as more is being spoken, more MIS-communication is caused. So is it best not to speak at all? Till today, then i found out tt the "UNI saga" has not ended and yet even elevated to a next level. Things are going way off. Actually, its really a BIG misunderstanding.
Its hurtful & disheartening to see a 14-yr old troupe juz go like tt, and a long partnership torn. Who caused this? I dunno, i know tt miscommunication caused it. The interesting thing is tt msg/info gets distorted everything it is transferred from one person to another. Original msg may be a whole deal diff from what eventually reaches the intended receiptant. Amidst the transfer of info, there may be malicious parties trying to benefit from the misunderstanding. Hence, it escalates the level of miscommunication. Above all, when the msg finally reaches the receiptant, its v subjective of how it is interpreted. Having studied Drama & Theatre b4, i know its really a whole deal how diff interpretations can be.
Dance seems so dangerous now, i dun even dare to talk to anyone, except for Sam & Zhenyu they all, whom i treat as close frenz. The rest juz seem so dangerous. Everything tt gets out of my mouth now is subjected to all distortions. As long as some1 hears it and decides to upscale it, Tt's e end. And worse still, keeping quiet doesnt help too, cos keeping quiet can be subjected to interpretation as well. It may be interpreted as "He's guilty, ashamed, tt's y dun dare to speak up", or "He trying to act blur only, actually he is the $%^&* person" etc.
This makes me v upset actually. I honestly know tt in the Real Working World ouside there, everything is like tt. Imagine if some1 badmouths u in front of Boss, (not once but many times), gradually Boss will tend to believe tt maybe there is Some truth in the person's remarks. Inevitably, ur yr-end performance appraisal will be affected. Imagine me go to work need to guard against these stuff, now in DANCE, oso haf to like tt? Its so tiring for me. =(
Dance shldnt be this way but I simply dun understand why there r ppl who enjoy creating choas out of nothing. I know tt i go to work need to face such stuff & there's no escaping but in my interest, i oso haf to face these stuff??
Some ppl are juz too dangerous, yet e most scary part is tt nobody realizes they are dangerous, except me. Thereby, even if i do voice out they are malicious, its unlikely tt any1 will believe. Hence, the way i can opt is only to distance myself from them. Hopefully, when they realize tt im not obstructing their path of **"Success & Glory", i can be abstained from being MISUNDERSTOOD.
**The irony is this - what success is there in becoming a troupe's most senior person or tt equivalent? A dance troupe is always non-profitable, hence there is actually no success to mention at all. If u r looking for authority & power, mind u, every1 basically only listens to Mr Low, nobody has authority over anybody, becos this is no longer an ECA back in sch days. So, if power is e objective, then u r oso in the wrong place.
So the issue is - Why back-stab any1 at all? Dance is juz an interest. Pulling down some1 from grace and EVEN replacing tt person eventually, there is no success at all, why go thru all the trouble? So funny, so comical......
End of Entry
Super Tired
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Towards the End
Dance Inspiration was established in 1993 by Mr Low, it was meant to let students with passion in dance have a place to express their interests & hone up their skills, as well as provide a platform for them to showcase their talents. Over the years, different batches have come & go, students have changed, the passion has worn off. But it has nv come close to a halt.
This time however, I sincerely think tt the troupe is in crisis, has gone towards the End. I was talking to Wan Ling today and being the 1st Gen gen of members for DI, (I belong to the 2nd Gen), we talked alot abt the past. I mention alot abt the current status of the troupe. It's not optimistic. Lets take a step back into History.
1st Gen - Wanling, Han Qiang, Yong Hao, Guang Ming etc
2nd Gen - Myself, Zixiang, Zhou Xiu, Angeline, Shan Bao etc
3rd Gen - Hui Ting, Connie, Thresa, Claire etc
4th Gen - Kai wei, Sam, Daryl etc
5th Gen - Xiao Sam tt batch + Wei Hong, Yi Long, Khoon hui etc
6th Gen & above - Kee Lui, Hann Bin, and the younger rest
Things dun look optimistic. In the past, we used to do lots of shows, in fact i dare say even till the 4th Gen, i was still doing shows with them, though i was over-aged in their batch. =P But things took a downturn when 5th Gen onwards ppl came along. That was also when we moved from BVCC to Kallang PA, if there are 4th Gen readers out there, i believe u all will know. How we used to talk cock in Holland V Breko after dance pracs. =D
The issue is this: It's an egg & chicken scenario. When students dun commit to take part in performances, Mr Low will not dare to undertake show requests. {Eg. I always remember becos those idiots nv commit (even when free), tt's why in 2005 Lao Jiu, Mr Low originally promised TTP 8 dancers, in the end only 4 - me, kw, yx, kenrick. Then he kanna upside down from TTP. =( }When there are no platforms for performing, students MAY (not absolute) see no pt in practising, cos no need perform. So coming for practices is not as impt. Hang out with frenz better.
So the cycle goes on and now in DI, everywk, many dun come for practices. Even if they appear, they dun practise at all. Then standard becomes lower & lower. Of course i do agree tt the INTENTION OF COMING is diff. I used to come cos i wanna hone my skills, improve etc. Now, the kids come becos of companions. But the issue is this, This troupe belongs to MR Low, he gets so disappointed & tired tt he oso dun feel like coming. HOW? I can really understand his stand, if i had a family, my Sundays will be precious to my family, why shld i come to spend time with the UNAPPRECIATIVE students at all? He spends time here, only to be disappointed to see ppl talking cock, fooling ard, nv practise anything.
Recently, he keeps telling me; "Zhongyi, i dun belong to this troupe anymore, u all like to do what u all do lor.." I seriously dunno how to react. i Always keep my mouth shut. Any readers out there can teach me? =(
There is nobody organizing the troupe. Nobody gives warmup at all, nobody pushes for anything, nobody turns up. This troupe was a free & easy troupe origianlly from 1st GEN. But back then, things still got some control. There were still some shows every yr, and approximately always got some ppl will wanna perform. Now, the ppl dun even perform, they juz come here for fun. Which they freaking forget one thing: Mr Low can easily ask u to pay $$ for using the tramp, the studio, the mattress etc. By right, there is no free lunch in this world. I daringly say: By right, we nv give Mr Low any $$ at all for all he has taught us, so rightfully, we could help him out by offering to perform for those shows so tt he doesnt haf to turn down requests. (Esp those shows which r becos of Ren Qing 人情)
But UNAPPRECIATIVE kids juz never commit. Diaozz, i was a student b4, if u cant commit when u in sec & JC/Poly, then Army liao all the more cannot commit what....
Bottomline is simple, IF all dun wanna commit, PLS juz dun come at all, then NOBODY comes at all, i dare say Mr Low at least can spend his Sundays with family. Now the troupe is neither here nor there, everywk, he oso dunno wanna come or not. He come, then he see things tt disappoint him again. He dun come, he feel tt like MAYBE there are still some enthu ones who will turn up, and being the nice teacher he is, he feels like shld treat us better etc.
This is getting nowhere lah. Talked to Wanling this morning, we talked so much tt i felt so apologetic taking up her work time =p
THE above mentioned is all my personal analysis from all the information I have. Perhaps there are some readers out there got more updated info than me, so things may be different. But back to topic, readers out there with abundant info, esp abt the "UNI saga", U tell me honestly, how to react to Mr Low's comment above? He mentions it so often, I everytime oso stumped, nv react. Ask him to stay and re-org the troupe, he may rebut : "Whats the pt?" Ask him to disband the troupe, then i become the BAD Guy who initiates the closure of a 14 yr old dance Troupe. DI -1993 -2007. And even IF i be bad guy, then HOW to disband? Send mass email to YahooGrps, tell every1 dun come anymore from now onwards? And DI will adopt another name? Then what if the new-born troupe, still got those ppl coming back, wont everything return back to sq one?
Totally sianz diao these days
Dance Inspiration was established in 1993 by Mr Low, it was meant to let students with passion in dance have a place to express their interests & hone up their skills, as well as provide a platform for them to showcase their talents. Over the years, different batches have come & go, students have changed, the passion has worn off. But it has nv come close to a halt.
This time however, I sincerely think tt the troupe is in crisis, has gone towards the End. I was talking to Wan Ling today and being the 1st Gen gen of members for DI, (I belong to the 2nd Gen), we talked alot abt the past. I mention alot abt the current status of the troupe. It's not optimistic. Lets take a step back into History.
1st Gen - Wanling, Han Qiang, Yong Hao, Guang Ming etc
2nd Gen - Myself, Zixiang, Zhou Xiu, Angeline, Shan Bao etc
3rd Gen - Hui Ting, Connie, Thresa, Claire etc
4th Gen - Kai wei, Sam, Daryl etc
5th Gen - Xiao Sam tt batch + Wei Hong, Yi Long, Khoon hui etc
6th Gen & above - Kee Lui, Hann Bin, and the younger rest
Things dun look optimistic. In the past, we used to do lots of shows, in fact i dare say even till the 4th Gen, i was still doing shows with them, though i was over-aged in their batch. =P But things took a downturn when 5th Gen onwards ppl came along. That was also when we moved from BVCC to Kallang PA, if there are 4th Gen readers out there, i believe u all will know. How we used to talk cock in Holland V Breko after dance pracs. =D
The issue is this: It's an egg & chicken scenario. When students dun commit to take part in performances, Mr Low will not dare to undertake show requests. {Eg. I always remember becos those idiots nv commit (even when free), tt's why in 2005 Lao Jiu, Mr Low originally promised TTP 8 dancers, in the end only 4 - me, kw, yx, kenrick. Then he kanna upside down from TTP. =( }When there are no platforms for performing, students MAY (not absolute) see no pt in practising, cos no need perform. So coming for practices is not as impt. Hang out with frenz better.
So the cycle goes on and now in DI, everywk, many dun come for practices. Even if they appear, they dun practise at all. Then standard becomes lower & lower. Of course i do agree tt the INTENTION OF COMING is diff. I used to come cos i wanna hone my skills, improve etc. Now, the kids come becos of companions. But the issue is this, This troupe belongs to MR Low, he gets so disappointed & tired tt he oso dun feel like coming. HOW? I can really understand his stand, if i had a family, my Sundays will be precious to my family, why shld i come to spend time with the UNAPPRECIATIVE students at all? He spends time here, only to be disappointed to see ppl talking cock, fooling ard, nv practise anything.
Recently, he keeps telling me; "Zhongyi, i dun belong to this troupe anymore, u all like to do what u all do lor.." I seriously dunno how to react. i Always keep my mouth shut. Any readers out there can teach me? =(
There is nobody organizing the troupe. Nobody gives warmup at all, nobody pushes for anything, nobody turns up. This troupe was a free & easy troupe origianlly from 1st GEN. But back then, things still got some control. There were still some shows every yr, and approximately always got some ppl will wanna perform. Now, the ppl dun even perform, they juz come here for fun. Which they freaking forget one thing: Mr Low can easily ask u to pay $$ for using the tramp, the studio, the mattress etc. By right, there is no free lunch in this world. I daringly say: By right, we nv give Mr Low any $$ at all for all he has taught us, so rightfully, we could help him out by offering to perform for those shows so tt he doesnt haf to turn down requests. (Esp those shows which r becos of Ren Qing 人情)
But UNAPPRECIATIVE kids juz never commit. Diaozz, i was a student b4, if u cant commit when u in sec & JC/Poly, then Army liao all the more cannot commit what....
Bottomline is simple, IF all dun wanna commit, PLS juz dun come at all, then NOBODY comes at all, i dare say Mr Low at least can spend his Sundays with family. Now the troupe is neither here nor there, everywk, he oso dunno wanna come or not. He come, then he see things tt disappoint him again. He dun come, he feel tt like MAYBE there are still some enthu ones who will turn up, and being the nice teacher he is, he feels like shld treat us better etc.
This is getting nowhere lah. Talked to Wanling this morning, we talked so much tt i felt so apologetic taking up her work time =p
THE above mentioned is all my personal analysis from all the information I have. Perhaps there are some readers out there got more updated info than me, so things may be different. But back to topic, readers out there with abundant info, esp abt the "UNI saga", U tell me honestly, how to react to Mr Low's comment above? He mentions it so often, I everytime oso stumped, nv react. Ask him to stay and re-org the troupe, he may rebut : "Whats the pt?" Ask him to disband the troupe, then i become the BAD Guy who initiates the closure of a 14 yr old dance Troupe. DI -1993 -2007. And even IF i be bad guy, then HOW to disband? Send mass email to YahooGrps, tell every1 dun come anymore from now onwards? And DI will adopt another name? Then what if the new-born troupe, still got those ppl coming back, wont everything return back to sq one?
Totally sianz diao these days
End of Entry
Monday, July 30, 2007
Teaching experience @ Mayflower Sec
Time is 30 July 2007, Time has passed and i taught at Mayflower Sec for quite some time, shld be my last job b4 i step into audit line now. The teaching experience there was not fantastic, preferably because i couldnt really get in touch with the students due to the short lessons, i end up only having some vague impression of the students, shant blog down the CMI students so tt i dun bring along these CMI memories with me in the future.
In this entry, shall blog down those impressionable students tt really made teaching quite enjoyable in Mayflower Sec. Basically, they are 2007: 1E, 2A, 1I, 2E, 2I. Out of all these, of cos i had the most vivid impression of 1E which is the class selected to do a showcase, which i did up a 2 min item for them within 5 periods of lesson, ie. 2 1/2 hrs only, from non-dancers to performers. This one i oso quite stunned by myself tt i could change them in such a short period of time. I did up 3 versions of the item for them to choose, basically - Pop by N'Sync + Music makes u lose control, Pop (remixed version by myself), or Throw it on me (By Timbaland) + Pop. In the end, the students opted the easy way out and chose Pop (remix version) so ok lor, my other efforts went to waste but alright lor, the dance steps not v difficult. So in the end, they put up a showcase, and tt almost marks the end of my session with Mayflower, since this week is the last week.
Anyway, something worth mentioning is that the TIC of this Artist-in-School program, Mr Lam, he is really a good teacher. He really super good la, committed etc, now NHDS is really cos lack of this type of teacher, tt's y so CMI. Nowadays the teachers just lack this type of passion which the elder senior teachers used to haf... Haiz.....
Back to topic, teaching experience at MF Sec is ok ba, due to the presence of these few classes & Mr Lam, my life there is still tolerable. =) Whatever the case, this may probably be my last job, so i shall be happy & complete it. Will always remember the students who put in effort during my lessons =) Give the hardworking students good grades, & Fail those attitude ones.
Time is 30 July 2007, Time has passed and i taught at Mayflower Sec for quite some time, shld be my last job b4 i step into audit line now. The teaching experience there was not fantastic, preferably because i couldnt really get in touch with the students due to the short lessons, i end up only having some vague impression of the students, shant blog down the CMI students so tt i dun bring along these CMI memories with me in the future.
In this entry, shall blog down those impressionable students tt really made teaching quite enjoyable in Mayflower Sec. Basically, they are 2007: 1E, 2A, 1I, 2E, 2I. Out of all these, of cos i had the most vivid impression of 1E which is the class selected to do a showcase, which i did up a 2 min item for them within 5 periods of lesson, ie. 2 1/2 hrs only, from non-dancers to performers. This one i oso quite stunned by myself tt i could change them in such a short period of time. I did up 3 versions of the item for them to choose, basically - Pop by N'Sync + Music makes u lose control, Pop (remixed version by myself), or Throw it on me (By Timbaland) + Pop. In the end, the students opted the easy way out and chose Pop (remix version) so ok lor, my other efforts went to waste but alright lor, the dance steps not v difficult. So in the end, they put up a showcase, and tt almost marks the end of my session with Mayflower, since this week is the last week.
Anyway, something worth mentioning is that the TIC of this Artist-in-School program, Mr Lam, he is really a good teacher. He really super good la, committed etc, now NHDS is really cos lack of this type of teacher, tt's y so CMI. Nowadays the teachers just lack this type of passion which the elder senior teachers used to haf... Haiz.....
Back to topic, teaching experience at MF Sec is ok ba, due to the presence of these few classes & Mr Lam, my life there is still tolerable. =) Whatever the case, this may probably be my last job, so i shall be happy & complete it. Will always remember the students who put in effort during my lessons =) Give the hardworking students good grades, & Fail those attitude ones.
End of Entry
Give credit & punishment when due
Only then can {Evaluation} be considered a fair tool of assessment
Sunday, July 08, 2007
VG Chalet at Aranda Country Club
Finally had a VG chalet juz b4 end of graduation.... hahaha... Life was so simple there. Apparently, first day when we checked in, it was already super late with me, hui qun & yong shun only, the others all cannot make it on the first day.
In the end, a loser thing happened and I ended up playing 3 players' mahjong for the night till 2am. Siao lor, it was like so diaozz... Then on 2nd day 3rd July morning, I left the Country Club early & freaking travelled from Pasir Ris to Mayflower Sec Sch for the dance lessons. Wah piang it was tiring.... Then aft lunch, i went back to join them where Jingxian finally arrived.
The 4 of us then went to swimming, sauna etc, spent the afternn leisurely, nothing much of activity to talk of actually. But the issue is that, this type of life where u can do what u like w/o any stress & juz let time pass by is v relaxing..... I personally find it damn enjoyable.. Simple & easy, no activity = most activity....
For dinner we met Tinghan & luckily as he was driving, we went down to Geylang for steamboat. Food was ok, the only eventual event was tt we went back to chalet for a super final mahjong showdown till early morning 5 or 6 am. It was super jia lat... Apparently i only won abt thrice in the whole night from 11pm till morning... Still cannot believe it...
But dunno why when they count winnings in the end, i ended up being the overall winner... Abit funny & unbelievable...
Finally, at the end of the chalet on 4th July morning, i left early with Tinghan, he gave me a lift to Toa Payoh then i travel to Mayflower again for lessons. Didnt know how the rest of the VG members checked out..
Overall, this is really the kind of life i looking for la.. Super relax, i think better than grad trip where gotta travel to many many places & yet cant really enjoy & relax... Diaoz? Think i getting old? Like i super behaving like those retired personnel leh.... Aiyoh....
(Pai seh to all readers out there, i know my this entry a little boring & short but i juz wanted to pen down a simple relax "trip" which i enjoyed alot =) )
Finally had a VG chalet juz b4 end of graduation.... hahaha... Life was so simple there. Apparently, first day when we checked in, it was already super late with me, hui qun & yong shun only, the others all cannot make it on the first day.
In the end, a loser thing happened and I ended up playing 3 players' mahjong for the night till 2am. Siao lor, it was like so diaozz... Then on 2nd day 3rd July morning, I left the Country Club early & freaking travelled from Pasir Ris to Mayflower Sec Sch for the dance lessons. Wah piang it was tiring.... Then aft lunch, i went back to join them where Jingxian finally arrived.
The 4 of us then went to swimming, sauna etc, spent the afternn leisurely, nothing much of activity to talk of actually. But the issue is that, this type of life where u can do what u like w/o any stress & juz let time pass by is v relaxing..... I personally find it damn enjoyable.. Simple & easy, no activity = most activity....
For dinner we met Tinghan & luckily as he was driving, we went down to Geylang for steamboat. Food was ok, the only eventual event was tt we went back to chalet for a super final mahjong showdown till early morning 5 or 6 am. It was super jia lat... Apparently i only won abt thrice in the whole night from 11pm till morning... Still cannot believe it...
But dunno why when they count winnings in the end, i ended up being the overall winner... Abit funny & unbelievable...
Finally, at the end of the chalet on 4th July morning, i left early with Tinghan, he gave me a lift to Toa Payoh then i travel to Mayflower again for lessons. Didnt know how the rest of the VG members checked out..
Overall, this is really the kind of life i looking for la.. Super relax, i think better than grad trip where gotta travel to many many places & yet cant really enjoy & relax... Diaoz? Think i getting old? Like i super behaving like those retired personnel leh.... Aiyoh....
(Pai seh to all readers out there, i know my this entry a little boring & short but i juz wanted to pen down a simple relax "trip" which i enjoyed alot =) )
End of Entry
Simple is Bliss
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