You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

New Post of 2007

Time is now 27 Jan 2007, A start of a new year, this is my final sem in Uni, will be working in DT after graduation, i wonder how my life will be transformed into.... Sigh.... No life..

Things are still pending now, lots of things are... This sem is rather happy, rather free to adjust my own timing, fill up my free time with things i like to do... =) Its alright, quite satisfied, but things gonna turn ugly after Graduation i suppose...
Wonder if Yingying can really help me? If yes, then the chances of the ideal of what Hui qun told me may actually be able to come true... =D Hahaha, Hai Die....

But anyway, if all things collapse and fall thru, then dance can only be a thing of the past liao... Sobz.... =( Things not optimistic, family income is zero, gotta support mum & dad asap, DT is a safe choice but not my ideal choice... Lets just see how things goes ba....

All i can say to God/ Destiny, is tt: I haf tried my best, i worked hard amidst all the constraints i am given; Yes, tt may not be my best effort, i could haf participated in more competitions, signed up for more dance classes, but this is what i haf worked hard amidst all the constraints, hence i am/ have to be willing to accept whatever consequences of my choices...

Start of 2007

Prelude to Essay 12 : When did your heart stop loving me?

Well, Yes Finally finished my 12th essay aft a damn long time... Sorry no ling gan & no feelings, no time to do due to exams & dance at NHDS, so finally can sit down within these 2 weeks to complete this... This time, dun treat this as an essay, instead treat it as a song... Realize i wrote 'Prelude' instead of 'Foreword'? Cos i treated this as a song, which is why its length is relatively short....

As usual, readers feel free to comment... The ling gan of this product comes from 2 songs; namely my current blog song; "Its gonna be alright" by Shinhwa & "Just Like Now" by Kang Ta. The lyrics for Kang Ta's song are listed below... The song is v touching, i got the feelings by listening to a song whose language i dun understand, can u imagine how touching KT's voice is? I mean to touch some1's heart where he cant even understand what u singing, his vocals are really super good lah, its injected with life & soul..... =) Personally i like the last 2 paras of this product, felt tt i ended it a smooth way, readers how abt u?
Readers, u able to spot which are the words may be used for a chorus? =) some phrases are used repeatedly in this essay/song cos i deliberately wish to create a 'chorus effect' though i dunno successful or not lah...... =p

(Just Like Now) By: Kang Ta

The moment I first saw you, my heart stopped.
It was as if all my many lonely days were spent waiting for you...

I just can't believe that you are standing right before my eyes.
It has started for me...from the moment you and I first met today...

The coming bright morning, the shining/gleaming afternoon, even the dark night...
They will also be happy because of you...

Even my lonely days which I struggled through for so long...just wandering about...
Since you're here now, I'm sure it won't be the case anymore...

Your oh so lovely appearance and my feelings for you...I wish they go on forever...
May this very moment right now be forever...as I take care of you

End of prelude

When did your heart stop loving me?

雪不断地落下，我披着雪白色的外套，望着纷飞的雪花，感叹着岁月的飞逝。。。冷冷的风迎面向我刮来，但却远不及内心的寒冰。此时此刻，你不在身边，我不知所措。孤独的日子依旧持续不断，似乎快忘了当初相遇时的情形，但是桃花依旧、人事已非。。。。

至今你已身在何处？不知现在是谁在握着那双温柔的手、亲吻那柔软的双唇？那个已不再出现在我面前的倩影，我依然深深思念着，是我错。。。面对这个冬天，阳光无法驱走寂寞，残留下来的依然是那脆弱的心灵，挥之不去的痛。即将来临的黎明、明媚的清晨、褪色的黄昏、冷酷孤寂的黑夜，它们都为你而动容，在每个思念你的一天。记忆已似乎没有存在的价值，但还是在内心深处徘徊着。。。

白色玫瑰是你的最爱，在这个色彩缤纷的世界，你对白色、红色情有独钟。飘逸的头发总是散发着迷人的芳香。两口子总是以双“单词”对话，仿佛有如婴孩呀呀学语。喜欢你总是对 Toy Toy念念不忘，喜欢听小猪与大灰狼的故事，喜欢你常在我手臂咬上一口，喜欢你总是看到婴儿就浑然忘我，喜欢和你一起共享绿茶口味的雪糕，喜欢“鹿鹿与抱抱”，喜欢在你生病时陪你去看医生，喜欢在你不开心时陪在你身旁。。。

快乐的时光总是不长久，那一点一滴的欢乐会长存我心中，陪我度过每一个孤寂的冬天。从春夏至秋冬，我还是找不到你的身影，没有人可以像你。离开你是一种煎熬，知道我在你生命中出现得不是时候；在你离去的那一刻，白色玫瑰枯萎了，落下的眼泪随即凝结成冰，沙钟里的流沙也流尽了，点唱机的最后一曲也到了曲终人散的阶段。。。 在你离去的那一刻，黑夜降临、黑夜白昼已无分别，时钟的秒针停止转动，心跳的旋律不再美妙。。。。

在过去的记忆里寻找你，逐渐成了一个习惯，从春夏至秋冬。睡梦中的我依旧听见你甜美的歌声，那把只存在梦境里的歌声。即将来临的黎明、明媚的清晨、褪色的黄昏、冷酷孤寂的黑夜，在醒来的这一天，请容许我再爱你多一天。。。

Love is...... Don't worry about me Girl, I'm gonna be alright..............

End of Song

Your EQ is 160

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

In Appreciation to those ppl ard me who believed in me

时间是26 NOV 2006, 今天在PA做舞蹈, 依旧面对那些让我心灰意冷的事, 当然一切都是重蹈覆辙. 对于这些事, 我虽已司空见惯, 但还是会影响我的心情. 不过呢, 在此每次都因舞蹈而悲伤的我, 想对周围的人说声: 谢谢你们!!
时代已不同, 我懂的东西已经似乎不被现在的年轻人接受...... 无助的我真的非常感谢所有在我身旁的人, 谢谢你们仍然相信我的理念, 我的那一套学说....

舞蹈在PA 已经非昔日时的情况, 所以我真的唯有凭自己的努力走下去, 真的不知会变怎么样, 但真的谢谢现今周围的人, 因为有你们的信任, 我才会一直坚持自己的理念.
Honestly i just suddenly thot of what Jeff Tan taught me: Arts (whether visual arts, musical arts, performing arts, digital art etc) in its finest form, is usually not understood by most ppl. If u really want, then just do it, as to whether what are the critics/ audience comments, they are not important. Whether u make it big or not, is really dependent on Time & Culture. The flair for arts is a black/white situation, no grey. Its either u haf it, or u dun.... It cant be trained/ nutured......
Its the harsh truth.

Come to think of what he say, hmmm.... maybe really v true.... Sigh..... Unfortunately, i dun haf it but still wish to do it..... 简直是飞蛾扑火.......

执着的我

飞蛾扑火

THE PRESTIGE

Time is Nov 9 2006, as usual an all time low period in my life.. Everytime i thot this was the lowest, it always gets lower again.... haizz.... Life is hard on me, or maybe simply becos i not strong enough? Dunno who to blame, what to do, i can only constantly remind myself that i m already v fortunate to haf whatever i haf now, cos all these r not granted... Maybe i may be born in a third world country next life, where i dun even haf $$ to buy food, how to worry whether my life is happy/ successful/ eventful or not... But sincerely i do wish to say: Being appreciative is appreciative, sincerely deep down inside im still unhappy, and i know the unhappiness is brought by myself, so i got no choice... Cos i Kan bu kai, Fang Bu Xia, too stuborn, so bring abt unhappiness... I mean: becos i kan bu kai, so yah lor, gotta accept & endure the unhappiness in my life lor... Its a matter of choice & consequences ba..... Haizzz.... Hopefully thru this sighing, i can get rid of all my unhappiness =)

This entry is to talk abt the movie: THE Prestige, as well as some insights as to what this movie has influenced me...
First & foremost, this movie is really deep & lots of underlying meaning, depending on how u wish to interpret the movie and also how u wish to apply those principles to ur own life... few weeks haf passed since i watched tt movie, and yet i still haf not finished discovering ALL the interpretations, Damn deep, damn good movie sia....

Shant bore this entry with all the technical analysis & critique of this movie, shall do it when i more free next time... Next, is to write down something tt has an impact in my life, the critical sentence mentioned in the movie: OBSESSION IS A YOUNG MAN'S GAME
Well, yup many times i m unhappy is perhaps due to this sentence? not tt i shld regard myself old & dun care anymore abt anything since obsession is a young man's game, but yah, since it is detrimental to me, perhaps i shld follow this good advice & give up on some obsession?

Dance has always been my passion, but i dunno since when, dancing in DI is no longer fun... Becos of the UNI production, things are getting v ugly there, everytime i read the emails from DI, everytime i witness the ppl booking the studios & the dancers, i can see ugly things.... Dance can no longer be the way i enjoy it, hence an all time low for me in life.... In addition, any efforts by me to extend my dance life is being destroyed or spoiled by perhaps fate? i dunno what to classify that but yah......

Frenz who know tt i applied for that job is still pending right? F*** it lor, so now my dreams/ideal seems shattered cos BIG 4 is coming in already... I have to decide by Dec if not next yr grad then no more job vacancy liao... & yet F*** thing is audit is not life i want, not tt i hate audit, its juz tt if i go audit, i gotta give up all my other talents lei, Hello its ALL!!!!!!
Dance, Theatre & Drama, Chinese Studies, Cinemotography, everything.....

So yup, i dunno what Life has installed for me in the future, i dunno how im going to spend the rest of my life.... All i can know is perhaps give up obsession may make me a happier man? Suddenly recall a song by Moon Hee Jun, Alone.... That song is so meaningful =)

LIFE

Food for thought

The entire entry this time, i copied it from Juncheng's blog, so to recognise the copyright, credits to Juncheng. I took these cos i felt they were meaningful, not necessary definitely correct but some food for thought.. I remembered the first time i read it few weeks/months ago, i found it v interesting, so copied it over here, so tt i can go thru now & then or even when i get older.... =)

1) dare to try and venture
it is of human nature to be curious. however, this curiousity wears off as we proceed on in life due to the falls we experienced and the pain we endured. it becomes our instinct to be cautious of every little risks and dangers that may revolve around the things that appears as strangers to us. but how are we going to live life to the fullest and live meaningfully when your life would be trapped and isolated off in a fantasy world of your own, just like a sealed crate sealing your fate as a mundane, monotonous and mechanical life. sometimes for some things we do in life there is just no time to ponder whether it would be feasible to approach something in some ways, for time and chance waits for no one and at times once gone, it is gone for good. taking a rational risk in lifemay just bring you surprises that you might not have dreamt of and expected.

2) enjoy and don't compare
everyone is unique, and so are their life. so how are we suppose to compare and for what, when there are billions of living people on this Earth and everyone have a different kind of happiness as well as problems. unless you are a god who is supposedly perfect, we should look at life in a accepting way. if that's Fate and nothing can be done to change it, anger and tears ain't going to bring us anywhere. rather, why not take things in our stride and just let it go? enjoy life as it is, 'cos you would not understand how blessed you are until you let every single happenings seeps through your soul and accept your destiny the way it is. as long as you are happy, that is your own paradise.

3) simplicity rocks
we are exposed to everything and anything under the sun, be it good or bad. we lost our innocent mind we used to have as a child and learnt how to think. however, the more we think, the more complex things get. the more we treat life as a problem and the more we try ways and means to solve it, it ended up messier than it was. why not be simple for once? there are many different shades of blue we know of, from bright to dull. when asked to describe blue, most would ponder which one is the purest and most basic form of blue? same with our life. we get lost as we try to change and adapt for the better, yet at he same time the more we learn, the more we think, the more we change, the more confused we get. we lose our way, we lose our identity, and we even lose our soul at point of time, banishing ourselves into a nobody. we are who we are, and we just need to be ourselves and the most natural and best form to be a somebody attractively unique.

4) don't give up too fast
stress, failures, obstacles...all these have contributed to our disappointments and frustrations once and again. they will never stop coming until the day you vanish from the surface of this world. if that is so, why bow to the demon that tripped you so hard? fight it! we lack of perserverance, as one would often give the excuse that one failure after another has beaten the morale and and worn patience out. "you'll never fail until you stop trying", and that is an attitude we ought to hold when dealing with daily life problems. you will eventually reap what you sowed and enjoy that sweetness of success in life.

5) treasure whatever you have
humans always fail to treasure their precious in life until they lose them. some things comes along once, unless time rewinds you will not find a exact duplicate of it ever again. appreciate what you have in life, and be thankful to things around you. even if it is something bad, be positive about it. learn to love it as a experience gained as well as an important lesson for your life, for without it in future encounters you will lack the skills to face it. express your appreciation as well as your concerns to the loved ones around you before its too late in this ever unpredictable life, be it friends, kins or even if he or she is just an acquaintance. make someone's day, and one day someone will just make your day.

Copyright from Juncheng's blog

Beachboys <<海滩男孩>>

时间是2006 年九月，我已是大学生。认识我的朋友，与我电邮沟通的人都知道我的地址是Beachboys。这个电邮址是从1998年伴随我到现在。将来它也还是有存在的意义。到底Beachboys的意义在哪里？

出生在我那个年代的人应该对哈日风熟悉吧！Beachboys，海滩男孩，是日剧的戏名，是由反町隆史、竹野内丰、广末凉子主演的。剧情我就不在这儿多说了，主要的是；竹野内丰是一个放弃高薪职位的商业精英，来到海边的民宿寻找不一样的生活。反町隆史则是一位无所事事的青年，看似没出息，但他其实曾是国家队的首号游泳健将，因受伤而退出，他一样来到民宿寻找他理想中的生活方式。民宿是广末凉子的爷爷经营的，而她也住在那儿。这部戏用了海洋来比喻许多人生的哲理。

这部戏在我十五岁时已在我脑海里留下了深深的印象。我到底要过什么样的生活？这辈子应如何度过？因此，每当我生活不如意时，看看<<海滩男孩>>，听听它的原声带总是能让我平伏心中的忧郁。生活方式有千百种，应该没有人可以对我的生活价值提出质疑。。。。虽然我生活不如意，没有任何成就可言，读书、才智、舞蹈、才华，我真的好像什么都没有，但我还是真的希望可以活出一个精彩的人生。 若有人问我，你理想的生活方式是什么，我很天真的说：其实就是<<海滩男孩>>里的那种生活方式。

在戏里，广末凉子的爷爷在最后一集对两位男主角说：这是属于我的海洋，不是你们的。你们应该去寻找自己的海洋。而Beachboys 的经典句子就是“寻找自己的海洋”。可悲的是我至今都没有找到自己的海洋，或许新加坡真的不适合我吧？

我很喜欢大海的原因也是由Beachboys启发的。我没想到海洋原来可以反映那么多的人生观。我喜欢海洋给我带来的那种平静。想想，我也好久没到海边去了，好吧，就在这个星期的学校假期，选个晚上到那儿去走走，吹吹海风 =) 我很希望自己可以活得很好，我想我可能真的不适合商业社会的勾心斗角吧？想到一年后，我的职业，我就总是闷闷不乐。。。

我的海洋究竟在哪里？海洋或许可算是最能慰藉我受伤的内心的治疗，虽然我承认它治标不治本。海洋真的对我很重要，对我有深远的意义。希望从此以后，身边的朋友们也都会知道Beachboys 对我有何含意。=) <<海滩男孩>> 会永远存活在我心中。。。。

End of Entry

Shinhwa concert 2006 in Singapore

Time is 15 Sep 2006, Shinhwa concert was on 10 Sep, but now then i got time to do an entry. Actually still no time one, juz tt i decided to forgo study time to blog an entry. Well, if u can recall, in 2006, my last yr NTU, final yr Acc, i m v unhappy this yr. Things are not going well and they juz seem to get worse. Juz look at this entry, i willing to forgo time to study oso wanna blog, u can imagine how wilful & unhappy i m. Precisely its like, the work & other social factors make my life so mizerable, i already wanna F*** care alot of things liao, tt's y wilfully wanna blog instead of studying for AA306 & AA304. Nbz, got quiz next week i still so wilful. I think any reader can see tt my mood is damn bad liao =(

Okie, back to topic. Shinhwa's concert in Singapore. Yup, the first Korean Band/ Artist to hold a concert in Singapore. All i can say is: they are the longest running band still exsistent(nv disband yet) in the history of Kpop, and there is a reason for this. Cos they are all too talented. U put them together, u get a super combi which u can nv search for anywhere else. And yet, they are so talented, they can advance in their solo careers as well, but juz nv disband. So in team & individually, they all excel. Damn good. H.O.T is oso v good, maybe even better than Shinhwa, but pity they disbanded due to musical differences. Cos Kang Ta likes Jazz/ Bossa Nova genre more, Hee Jun likes Rock, and the Jae Won, Tony, Woo Hyuk still prefers Rap & Hip Hop. So it really ain't easy to keep a band united...

So the performances were great, but i think due to Fatigue, the performance was rather below par, at least compared to their concerts held in Korea. But still i wanna blog an entry cos i hope tt when i old tt time , still can remember when did i go for a Korean Concert. =)

The songs by them:
Perfect man, Hey Come on, Hero, Angel, I pray for u, Only one, Wild eyes, Once in a Lifetime, Brand New, Your Man, Shooting star, Ended the concert with :How do i Say

Some songs i forgot liao, so didnt manage to blog, but according to straits times, they sung 19 songs, which i lost count.... Actually wish to blog abt a critique of their performane, but i really realize tt i really not mood today. Thinking back, actually i have been in a low mood since my Uni days started...
Depression juz cannot leave me, and it juz ends up in a viscous cycle. The longer depression stays with me, the more my depression becomes. The more the magnitude, the longer it stays and everything juz repeats... I oso dunno why & how come i become lidat?

End of Entry

Taiwan Trip (Part 2)

Well, for part 2 of the entry, i simply wish to jot down where i went during the 6 day trip. Strictly speaking, its a 5 day trip lah, cos last day was nothing, i think juz queueing up for S.H.E qian chang hui, then went to this v nice restaurant called Coke Forest, ie. Coca Cola Forest lah, serving food equivalent to Swensen's or Breko etc.

So lets start from Day 1

After reaching Taipei and settling at the hotel, it was already night time. So we took there Kuai Tie (our MRT equi) to Shi Da Night Market. Had lots of food there, something worth mentioning is the Dessert there, yup the ice kachang kinda dessert. Fen Yuan Dou Hua (AKA Bubble Tea Pearls + Dou Hua) is something u gotta try, =) though i had even better deserts at i think Rao He Jie Night Market (siao liao, start to forget liao) better jot down everything b4 i suffer from STM.....

Day 2

Wah, shiong this day is damn shiong.... Went to Yang Ming Shan National Park. In the end becos we took a diff bus and landed on the other side of the hill, we went up from west to the sub-peak (note: is sub-peak hor, didnt even go to peak, cos too shiong) and came down from the east... End up like Chiong Sua, back to army days... Haha, was a great exp, but i think no more next time... hahaha.... really lah, the feeling like army, gotta water break, take rest etc. cannot one shot finish the whole trip... Shiong =p

Aft tt, we went Dan Shui & Yu ren Harbour, haha... That was where i got my most prized item in this whole trip... All my doraemon soft toys, not available in Singapore one... Hahaha, bought so many of them... Haha and now tt im back, i kinda regret didnt buy more.. Was afraid kanna scolded by parents 4 spending on these type of things, but in the end, Haha, they loved toys so much, they ask me why nv buy More? hahaha, so happy....
Oh then at Yu ren Harbour, it was v nice & romantic, too bad no girlfriend, if not it would have served a v meaningful memory. Went to the Lovers' bridge, scenery is so nice....

Lastly went over to Shi Lin Night Market... Wah piang, come to think of it, we so zai lor, one day go 4 places.... Hahaha... Shi Lin Night market was good, got so many shops and food, but we didnt haf enough time, so in end we went back there again on i think the 4th day... Haha

Day 3

Haha damn shiok, this was the best day/ best place i went this time... Went to Jiu Fen and Ji Long Miao Kou. Haha Jiu Fen was really fun & peaceful & calming... We went there walked ard, and most imptly, we went to Chinese Tea House, the tea, ambience, scenery was totally perfect. & i muz emphasize: The Yu Yuan (Yam Balls) Dessert is like so nice lor... Haha, thinking of it makes me hungry again =p
After a long day, we ended up at Ji Long Miao Kou... Wahaha, dun ask me what i had for dinner.. All i can say is tt its a sumptous meal much cheaper than in Singapore, but still its a little unappetitizing... =p

Day 4

Day 4 nothing special, was a shopping day. Went to the CKS Memorial Hall but aft tt it was all shopping. like i said, me & frenz went back to Shi Lin to shop, and we finally got to try the XL size Chicken Cutlet for only S$2.50. So damn cheap & nice.... Delicious Sia....

Day 5

We ended up at Wu Fen Pu & Rao He Jie Night Market... Wu Fen Pu is the Bugis Street of Singapore? The fashion sense there is quite zai, even if u dun buy anything (highly unlikely though) u really get to learn how to match ur clothes (if u dunno how to play mix & match), juz by looking at the shops' displays. Even for dancer like me, i get to learn how to design clothings for stage purposes, not only everyday dressing... This simply shows tt Taiwanese dress more elaborately than Singaporeans, the fashion there is much more interesting... =)
Rao He Jie Night Market, whats worth mentioning is again Dessert & one more Zai shop than our Singapore $1 shop.
Dessert serving is scary lor, i had Glass Jelly+Dou Hua+Yu Yuan. In the end, i think the auntie used half a cube of ICE for my bowl... Siao, damn big ah... Hahaha....
Oh then shop, pls lah, what is $1 shop man? There the shop is selling off all things such as bigs, wallets and other misc stuff like what u see in Singapore $1 shop for juz $10 NT which equates to S$0.50. Madness right? Me & frenz see liao oso stunned... =p

Okie written so much, i think readers oso sian, so i shall not indulge in my Taiwan trip thingy. Jotted all these down juz to remind myself where i went... Aft all the events i did, i can recall with the help of all those photos taken, so yup, tt's all... =)

Next entry i may then add my comments/feelings/thots/interesting events on taiwan trip =)

End of Entry

Taiwan Trip (part 1)

Time is 31 July 2006, i returned from taiwan yesterday, first trip overseas with frenz. Its oso my first trip to taiwan. Within the 6 day 5 night trip, its a rush hence we only limited our tour to Taipei, hence to be strictly specific, i only toured Taipei, but its really great.

For a bumpkin like me, who nv went for backpac tours b4, this was a good exp. I managed to see how things were like in Taiwan, how others live their lives, how that w/o luxury goods, a life could still be fulfiling. I think what i gained most from this trip is tt i now can view things in a more different way, and thereby live a more fulfiling life w/o too much unhappiness. Looking ard Taiwan, i realize tt life is simply L.I.F.E, Living Is Fruitful Enough, i came up with tt on my own. It doesn't sound stupid to me, becos cost of living and style of life is so diff in other countries, i got to realize & exp that life in Singapore is too complicated, a simple life may be interesting as well.... Thereby, Living Is Fruitful Enough, as long as there is life, then it is already a fruitful journey.

Life is such, i am really happy for this taiwan trip, cos i somehow get to understand and get over some things which i all along couldnt in the past. Of cos in the near future, i believe those dead knots in my life will keep recurring and make me think thru again & again, but i m sure, with this entry, it can remind me of what i saw in Taiwan, {the lifestyle, the culture etc}, so tt i will be more appreciative and satisfied with my life. =)

With tt, i end off this entry with special thanx to Teddy, Weiming & Huifang. Thanx for making this trip possible though it started out as a joke/ casual remark. =)

End of Part 1

Nice & True song

Well, readers, long time nv blog liao, this is the first time i m blogging ever since my PA ended.
Time has passed, these 10 weeks i oso dunno how i survive them. Back to my entries, i shall blog more often now.

Time is 20 July 2006, few days b4 i leaving for taiwan, abit moody recently, heard this song from the radio, found the lyrics v meaningful & true, most impt, its so real! For my colleague in Bensyl, Alex; he juz broke up with his gf, immediately after he returned from a Hongkong overseas trip. Its really a tragedy to me, go company holiday trip, come back girlfriend say break off..... =( Whats more the trip was only 4 days only, over the weekends only, and this type of things can happen....
Really sad for him =(

So i listen to this song, and i found it so true, so real, so nice...
Touching....
Why things so sian? Ppl ard me all got relationship problems recently =( Its so depressing to see everyone so sorrowful... Life seems like no meaning.....

Well Ppl, enough said, all i can say abt relationships is that: Do cherish whatever u haf at that point of time... Enjoy this song, the lyrics are below... A song by Lin JJ

歌曲：原来

词:张思尔 林秋离曲:林俊杰

街灯绊住我眼前
下一步
拉长的影子
嘲弄的回顾
电话亭仍留着你的话
一句话掉一滴泪
今晚的我会是如何入睡

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离

原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

说故事也要像是真的
可是别触动那些回忆
今夜你说了最后一句
一句话掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我很难入睡

End of Entry

一个人生活 (Foreword)

A short essay has been produced =) This essay maybe not so well-done but becos i dun wanna repeat too much things tt haf already appeared in my previous essays, so yup, i omitted quite lots of stuff in this new essay. But the new thing abt this essay is the inclusion of the english words. Yup the words aren't meant to be read like a story, in fact, it should be read in the form of a Rap. Yes!! Rap.... Haha, didnt know i could oso come up with such stuff....=p

Dear readers, u all can try out the rap, but pls adjust ur Tempo, this is not the kind of rap u hear in hard-core hip hop songs. An adjustable tempo would be something like tt of Jay Chou's Fa Ru Xue, the part where the song abt to end, yup tt kind of a tempo... Another suitable tempo may be tt of Energy's Mou Nian Mou Yue Mou Yi Tian.

Dunno how the rap sounds to u ppl, but it seems okay to me lah, when i tried out a little, got rhythm lei, but anyway first try, so yup, do give a little comments, Thanks lots to all =)

End of Entry

一个人生活

凌晨时分，疲惫的身躯拖着沉重的脚步，一步步走向那熟悉的房子。一栋被开启的房子，飘逸着某人遗留下的香味。卸下沉重的包袱，我躺在沙发上，回想起那甜美的笑容，聆听着正在播放的演奏曲；Canon. 这首曲子依然继续播放着，我解开领带，脱掉长袖上衣。真可笑，我其实不适合穿长袖上衣、打领带，却还是选择了一份必须如此穿着的工作。人生想必就是如此无奈吧！就象不论思念有多深，在远方的某一个人亦不会感应到吧？

走进浴室，看到镜子里的我，我却认不出那就是我。热水的蒸气在镜子上凝结成水，随着地心吸引力往下流，在白茫茫的朦胧中，我仿佛见到那熟悉的身影。后知后觉，我知道那个人是不会出现的。没有她的日子，这间被开启的房子显得很空洞，我的生活亦失去了色彩。镜子里的那个人仿佛就像个折翼的堕落天使。。。

原来要从天堂坠落是这么一回事。在这孤寂的夜里，陪伴着我的只有那架点唱机。穿着白色衬衫，懒散地躺在沙发上，疲惫却毫无睡意。手里的那杯红酒还没喝完，音乐也还没停止。繁忙的工作只为了填满内心深处的孤寂，单独地活着，仿佛天地间再也没有任何事和我有关。思念能否飞越海洋？杯子被倒翻，杯里的红酒流了出来，渗透了白色衬衫，看起来就像是性命垂危的伤者，奄奄一息；就让我沉沦于深海，犹如堕落天使沉沦于地狱。。。

凌晨即将结束，曙光渐显时，又将会是忙碌的一天，而当我回到这间房子时，一切都会重复，直至她回来，而那时候到底。。。

Every night i stay up in the lonely night,
looking into the sky, wishing u were by my side.
Baby, will u please come back, my love.....

Where are u tonight? I really wish to hold u tight.
The days without you, i start to breakdown and cry....

Every night i've been living without a heart,
hoping that Heaven don't tear us apart,
Till the end of time, Loving you isn't a crime...

An entry Tribute to my fellow frenz

Time is June 06, time has passed lots, its been 3 yrs ever since Shin-13 ppl grad from NHSS. Time really pass damn fast huh, I can really look back to the time when we ppl worry for NHDS in SYF 05, then we were at WestCoast Park till 4 am discussing abt how NHDS shld proceed in the future.... Haha, now come to think of it, we were really so concerned... a bunch of NHSS grads staying up late on fri night aft dance prac, go makan, then go talk cock, in the end talk abt NHDS can talk till 4 am... haha, siao one....

Well, at least i say i m not as concerned for NHDS now, cos i find it rather hopeless, i feel i cant help much liao, I m too old 4 them, the task pass on the Weihong & gang go do ba...

Time flies, i cant do anything to stop it, all i can say is tt time makes human beings seem so small, so helpless, so insignificant...

Well, this entry is to u guys out there, who juz entered NS. now the bulk of u except the poly studs, haf entered NS, latest being Zhenyu who juz did so on Fri =) Well, the past 3 yrs its fun getting to know u all. Enjoy ur 2 yrs of break from all the academic studies' demand. enjoy life ba... Any probs feel free to come ask me abt it... =)

All the best to u frenz out there; Zhiyan, Zhenyu, Sam, Maorong.... Despite all the fatigue u all may encounter in NS, still hope tt some days we can meet for a decent dinner, not those hastily arranged ones... =)

Cheers!

End of entry

Tattoo 2 Foreword

Juz completed another essay.. I enjoyed the process alot.. Didnt know tt essays could be completed in such a way as well.. Dear readers, pls take a look at the 'new' essay Tattoo2. If u haf read the previous work(Tattoo), u shld realize something by now (similar yet different). Well, i really enjoyed the process cos i didnt know an essay can be completed in such a way like i did.

It was experimental, i dunno how my readers will react so friends pls feel free to comment, this idea flashed past my mind when i was on my way home alone on the bus. nothing to do so let my mind run wild, suddenly thot of trying an interesting experiment. =) It shows tt an essay doesn't haf to be written from top to bottom.

Well, the same issue applies, if u dun understand my essay, pls refer to the previous foreword (entry dtd 4th Apr) for the original work 'Tattoo'. Tt foreword mentions how this particualr essay may be read/ interpreted.

Haha, so happy, juz like as though i re-choreographed a dance, old yet new... Didnt know it can apply to writing essays as well... =)

End of foreword

刺青 (续集)

孤寂的夜晚，寒风不停地吹，我踏进冷清清的房子，卸下一天的疲惫。走进这看似熟悉却又陌生的客厅，在你最喜欢的沙发坐了下来。随着便播放了你最喜爱的那一首歌。房间里还摆放着你最喜欢的白玫瑰。过往那些零零碎碎的片段亦逐渐一一浮现在我眼前。。。

画面中的我们充满著甜蜜、洋溢着幸福。画面里有欢笑，有泪水，有快乐，有悲伤，有着我们的点点滴滴。无奈已经时过境迁，此景不再，假如这一切都能重演的话。。。

在路上行驶，景色迅速从眼前晃过，树叶簌簌飘落，你仿佛就坐在我身边。夜景那么迷人，既可以慰藉孤寂的心，却也令人更容易染上孤寂之感。我怀念那段你常依偎在我怀里的日子。。。

独自漫步在海滩上，阵阵海风迎面吹来。今夜的星空单调暗淡，与我的步伐不谋而合。走在沙滩上，只听见浪声频频。。。

对你的想念从来没间断，看着房子的每一个角落，都遗留着你的香味，你的残影。即使我再怎么努力，我都没法将你忘掉，为甚么？是否因为我们彼此之间的距离不会因时间的流逝而有所改变？我忘不了你。。。

此时孤影无人相依偎，没有乘客的巴士显得冷清，空调格外地冷。你不在身边，已无人挽着我的手。我身边的坐位空了，人影消失了。一排一排的街灯照亮着马路，却照亮不着我心中的旅途。路上没有行人也没有其他车辆，我仿佛处于一座孤城，在这个悲情城市里来来回回。。。

浪声频频，海风阵阵，不知你现在是否在颤抖 ？在这冰冷的夜晚，不停颤抖的你是否需要我在身旁？还记得当一切开始时，就是你让我心里泛起涟漪，像是海上那绵绵不断的浪涛。我一直想与你在海滩上漫步，因为海洋似乎能够洗涤心灵，希望面对着海洋时，你那疲惫不堪的身心能够得到平静。。。

在这繁忙拥挤的都市里，若我不小心遇见了你，我大概会笑着对你说，你好我很忙；但这一切其实都只是表面话而已。我真的没有把握，万一眼泪不自觉地流下，落在那早已凋谢的白玫瑰，万一泪珠在白玫瑰上凝结。。。

此时你是否也在某辆车上，单独地踏上归途？ 你身边的坐位是否也空着？在这漫长的路途中，你是否想起了从前？从前常坐在身旁的那个人？欲哭无泪，仍然心疼你。。。
在房子里徘徊，漫无目的徘徊着，一份莫名的悲伤在空中弥漫着，我也不知心中是何滋味？我只是清晰地感受到心中一阵阵的绞痛，这一份绞结似乎将心给绞碎了，一种麻麻而又酸酸的感觉，让我呼吸不顺畅，仿佛缺氧快要窒息。那遗留下来的香味，搁浅着的照片，未删除的简讯，都是一些忘不了的记忆。。。

繁忙的都市，庸庸碌碌的生活，淡如水的交情，面对着最熟悉的陌生人，你好我很忙。我真的没有把握，万一我真的恨你恨得说不出话，万一心仍在淌着血，血珠滴落在那早已凋谢的白玫瑰，染红那纯白的花瓣；心好痛。。。

在黑夜的这个旅程我不知道会在哪里下车，也不知终点在哪里。途中会否有人上车填满我身边的坐位，我亦不知晓。漫长的黑夜，毫无终止的车程，一排排的街灯陆续从身边晃过，显得越来越渺小；一切仍持续着，你已远去。。。

在厨房泡了一杯咖啡，记得怕苦的你总会加上许多的白糖。为什么我还记得？你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍；无论我今后和谁在一起，都无法忘记你。我不怕离开你，只是不知离开你是否能使我忘了你？

早已远去的你，我已无法在这片情海里寻觅 。即使我再怎么用心，再怎么舍不得你，一切都已消失于情海之中；就让我沉溺于无边无际的深海里，沉溺于过去的记忆，沉溺于你的温柔，永远不再醒来，永远~~~~~~~~~~~

在这个都市，人来人往，所有人都与我擦肩而过。你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍；即使我今后和别人在一起，都无法忘记你。看着你忧郁重重的双眼，心中的绞痛更是挥之不去。为何你离开了我却没有得到幸福？心疼你离去之后没有得到幸福，离去之后仍没找到理想的天堂。请你过得比我幸福好吗？日子一天一天地过去，眼泪一直不停地流，心痛的感觉依然持续不断。。。

在浴室里面对着镜子，我仿佛又看到了你的影子。你呢？是否也常透过玻璃窗看到我？我好怕，真的好害怕。你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍；害怕纵使你今后和别人在一起，都无法忘记我。。。若能减轻你内心的痛，减轻那份麻麻而又酸酸的感觉，我情愿你失去这个刺青。

你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍、无法舍弃、无法装做不存在；即使我今后和别人在一起，都无法忘记你。。。
若你真的爱过我，不妨在夜阑人静的时候，看着窗外的绵绵细雨，偶尔想想我。。。

Thots aft viewing I NotStupid 2

Continued from part1, the next thing the movie over-simplifies is the fact tt living alone is diff from living together. What i mean is: it emphasizes so much on individuals, tt teenagers empthasize with e character in the movie as it is so 'real' a replication of themselves. Hence they may become so happy and involved in themselves, they neglect what is ard them. Many of the teenagers today cannot live in grps. Take NHDS for eg. so many of them dun come for practice simply becos they 'today no mood to dance' which is so inconsiderate. Cant they juz understand tt every absentee brings about so much implications for every1?

Next, they cant work with one another simply becos they bu shuang. Unable to put aside their differences, they fail to excel as a grp. Only work with ppl whom they like, or can click. This movie has the tendency (not absolute though) to make teenagers even more self-centred, as they now r more aware of their own situation/ status in the society. Every1 in the edu systm is commenting on: how to treat students better, how to make facilities better, make life better for them, less stressful etc. Well, i dun comment on whether tt is e correct direction we shld head towards, but undeniable fact is tt all our teenagaers will continue to live in their own world, and eventually may be unable to live in a grp which consists of many diff types of ppl.

In the army, workplace, clubs/ societies, there bound to be differences among ppl who r trying to accomplish a similar goal via their own methods. If teenagers are unable to put aside all those vitiating factors, they cannot work as a grp. The above sentence esp applies to the current NHDS and i believe the future NHDS as well.... =(

Okie, enough of all these... Lastly i wish to end by saying tt, hopefully i brought out another viewpt to all audiences of INS2 so tt every1 does not get swayed by the movie which is in a certain way, too commercialized with "ulterior" motives. Well, though i studied theatre & cinema studies in Uni, i dun wish to bore all readers with the technical stuff. Next time when i more free, maybe i will post another entry simply on technical stuff =)

Meanwhile, pls feel free to continue comment on my entry. wanna blast me down oso can...
Lets haf an active discussion =)

End of part 2

Thots aft viewing I NotStupid 2

Juz watched INS2 directed byJack Neo. As claimed by the media, it is a touching movie. Well, but to me, its not tt a good movie aft all... I m not criticising the movie, but my opinion of the movie is tt it is over-simplified, neglects many factors, over-emphasizes on unnecessary things and even exploits the human softness for e so-called pitiful ppl. Dun believe? juz read on...

The show touches many hearts on the part tt many teenagers feel they do not get their parents' understanding, and the part on teachers looking down on students wif poor grades. Therefore teenagers end up being lonely etc. DO u all start to see that the movie is directed in such a way, it makes u, the audience, start to empthaize with the teenagers? This is what i mean by exploiting the audience's hearts. A similar eg would be the showcase of Patients' life during NKF charity shows. Those video clips touch our hearts, but eventually it is disappointing to know tt our $$ went to unnecessary things like the Golden Tap.

Dear readers, pls take a neutral look at INS2 again. U will realize many of the things tt r portraited in the movie are over-simplified, over-emphasized. For instance, INS2 talk so much abt parents working and neglecting children. well, look on the other side of the coin. Teenagers nowadays have so much luxury goods tt they become a necessity. They have iPods, New Hp every now & then, New bags, new clothes. And mind u, all these r bought within a time period of few weeks...(not like CNY need to buy new clothes etc) If parents dun work till mad, how to afford all these luxury goods? Dun believe me? Go Visit blogs of many sec sch kids and take a look at their wishlist/ blog entries. U realize they go shopping almost every week (not window shopping hor). They exclaim that they juz bought how many new tops or bags again. So now, tell me, is it parents' fault?

Hello, close frenz ard me know tt i recently then buy mp3 player, & i still using Discman. All these luxury goods were bought using my own $$. so there is a diff. And i dun deny the fact, tt got ppl even poor till discman oso cannot buy. Yup, so what r those kids in INS2 complaining abt? Haf they ever think in the shoes of their parents?

U may be thinking tt I m speaking too much on behalf of parents, Yes i am, becos the movie is too skewed towards the teenagers, i m bringing in another viewpt to hope tt audience dun get swayed in your views regarding the truth in our teenagers today. The movie overemphasizes too much liao.

Next, over-simplification of facts. In the movie, u see so much of public canning issue, the dialogues of the movie all stand in the side of teenagers. Well, let me tell u some of the events i seen in sec sch nowadays. Not ABSOLUTE tt those canned will live with shame. Nowadays, i DUNNO the word 'shame' has how much weightage in teenagers' hearts. Frenz ard me, esp NH dancers, do u agree with me tt how come recently 2 yrs NH dancers AS IF frequently get canned publicly in sch? NHDS kanna whacked by almost all teachers in NHSS for discipline issues? Why? Arent they sad/ ashamed tt NHDS 's reputation is going down the drain? Not ashamed tt a dancer no longer has standing status in NHSS? Yet they can still continue their nonsense. Is the society not giving them 2nd chance? Is it the sch's fault? well, no abosolute ans, think again, and of cos, watch INS2 again...

By now, u may haf realized tt there r many issues tt r hanging with no abosolute ans. I trying to balance the whole issue cos INS2 is too one-sided.. why not think again? So many ppl see liao say they r touched, adults interviewed say they will reflect on their own actions, while teenagers interviewed simply expressed their happiness tt some1 is finally speaking up 4 them.. Then who will speak up for the adults? (ie. Teachers, parents, etc) Pls lah, forget all ur Fila/ Adidas Bags, Clothes, iPods, Laptops etc lah b4 u try to play down ur parents again.... =(

I wish to write alot more but this entry is getting long so may be i continue as a separate entry another day....
Dear frenz, pls leave ur comments, i appreciate a discussion on this =)

End of part 1