解脱

Time is 23 Sep 07, ain't really happy recently.. Just got news abt a fren who quit her audit job in EY where she had worked only few months? Life's hard for us auditors... The above title of my entry is the latest song on my playlist, Jie Tuo by Li Jiu Zhe (Aka Xiao Pang of the Machi Gang) This song is really nice and the lyrics are so meaningful. Though the song title usually misleads ppl to thinking tt it is the song by A-mei, but nope, this song has its own uniqueness too.

My fren's MSN nick is: Thinking of what i really wanna do in the future, Audit is definitely not for me.
Having read that, i oso dunno what i want. Perhaps, ppl of our generation are too fortunate, hence too self-centred on thinking what I WANT. Its all abt ME, & I etc. My parents generation slog their whole lives out just to make ends meet tt they dun even haf chance to talk abt their dreams & ideals. Which side should i be on? Be a daring person, and go search for my ideals, which may not even come true in a lifetime (Artists usually led a poor life till they r dead, then their works get cherished, Sigh.... Irony), Or just stick by my job everyday and slog my life away in OFFICE? There is no right or wrong, but just tt if i go for dreams etc, it seems impractical & self-centred. I shld be working to support my family, repay all my debts to parents etc, be responsible for their costs of living etc. Life is v brittle, esp mine i think.... Im perhaps just not strong enough.... Then again, whats the definition of "strong"? F*** it lah..


Anyway, all these are just side notes. Basically i just felt like introducing this song to the readers of my blog. Its nice. The lyrics are below and readers out there (if any at all), do take note of the lyrics ya? Many a times, Love happens/ evolves into what is written in the song, so ppl, when dealing with Love, Handle it with care. =)

End of Entry

歌手：李玖哲
歌曲：解脱

爱永远都是难题失去分寸太容易
谁都是凡人不够小心翼翼
有时候忘了珍惜伤害来的太无意
有时爱太急需要空间呼吸

争吵愈狠痛愈深刻然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的

Chorus:
如果分离是唯一的解脱
最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过
遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱, 连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着

让你哭泣对不起为了爱承受委屈
说过的承诺其实还没忘记
愈是在乎的关系愈是相处不容易
伤害了你我也失去勇气

争吵愈狠痛愈深刻然后不断自责
我们都忘了最初的快乐
拥抱越紧痛愈深刻谁不会舍不得
现在我给的或许并不是你要的

如果分离是唯一的解脱
最后的话我来说
如果永远你不必再难过
遗憾让我来过
就算过去的回忆太脆弱, 连未来也没有我
爱着你仍是我的执着

走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手
还能有什么藉口让爱再回头

多少的爱说不出口
就让时间帮我说话
我一个人拼命挣扎
总比两个人一起难过还好吧

Chorus *
爱着你唯一的解脱

Life as @ Sep 07

A month has passed since I started work and shant mention the unhappy issues cos as i always say: this blog is a paperless collection of all my memories, i wouldnt want my memories to be filled with worthless stuff when i re-read my blog like perhaps 10-20 yrs down the road?

During this month, as it is off-peak, i still got some time for myself, dun haf to work thru midnights but unfortunately, it didnt mean tt i could knock off on time. Life's hard. I got my first pay and alas!! It was pro-rated and i got a v little amt, which i dunno how im gonna survive for this following month. Frenz out there who still owe me $$, pls return me this time, cos i really really need it. Every single dollar now seems helpful.

Honestly, for this month tt has passed, it wasnt a happy month. All the more, i begining to miss my frenz, all the outings we haf etc. All the dance pracs etc. Dancetitude 07 has ended and i have some personal comments on it. Basically, it can be summarized in juz a sentence. Dance is not all abt Hip Hop only, and i seriously symphathize those ppl who really think tt as long as they know Hip hop, they are good dancers. Hahaha, after dancing for so long, all the more i feel tt i dunno how to dance. Its like what they say: The more u know, the more u realize u dunno.

Hence, i sincerely feel so sad for those MJ ppl who really gets stuck in Hip hop only. After a trip to Sarawak, Kuching, for the dance festival, now that im back, i really realize how much i dunno abt dance. Its so Wah piang.... =( And the irony is tt when i look back at MJ ppl, i realize how much more they dunno, yet thinking tt they do know; Which is the most comical part abt this irony. Honestly Dancetitude in Mitran's item was quite fun, at least the bare minimum there is no politics, no back-stabbing, no bitching ard. We juz dance, and yup even if i cant dance well, I still enjoy the "process" of dancing. That's the enjoyable part. Anyway enough abt MJ, shall move on to another topic.

Dance with the de-funtc Dance Inspiration always turns out to be v tiring. The political issues are killing me and i gotta help sort out the things ya? It's tiring. Worse still, This year's Anyhow Arts at PA which is org by CDAA, Guess what? I kanna arrowed to be the overall Program Planner. Congrats! I gotta write proposals send to ask for funding, coordinate among all the choreographers' items and eventually settle the logistic issue. Dun need ask me ask for help from anyone, becos in the CDAA committee, I am the freaking most junior person. Who to task? Diaozz, i cant possibly task all the senior teachers to do things for me right... Haiz...

Ok, gotta rush back to do my work liao, brought work from office to home to complete. So shall blog again the next time when i free.

Not v happy recently

Work is not fun

Communication is IMPT

Actually language is used to communicate with each other. However, the irony seems tt as more is being spoken, more MIS-communication is caused. So is it best not to speak at all? Till today, then i found out tt the "UNI saga" has not ended and yet even elevated to a next level. Things are going way off. Actually, its really a BIG misunderstanding.

Its hurtful & disheartening to see a 14-yr old troupe juz go like tt, and a long partnership torn. Who caused this? I dunno, i know tt miscommunication caused it. The interesting thing is tt msg/info gets distorted everything it is transferred from one person to another. Original msg may be a whole deal diff from what eventually reaches the intended receiptant. Amidst the transfer of info, there may be malicious parties trying to benefit from the misunderstanding. Hence, it escalates the level of miscommunication. Above all, when the msg finally reaches the receiptant, its v subjective of how it is interpreted. Having studied Drama & Theatre b4, i know its really a whole deal how diff interpretations can be.

Dance seems so dangerous now, i dun even dare to talk to anyone, except for Sam & Zhenyu they all, whom i treat as close frenz. The rest juz seem so dangerous. Everything tt gets out of my mouth now is subjected to all distortions. As long as some1 hears it and decides to upscale it, Tt's e end. And worse still, keeping quiet doesnt help too, cos keeping quiet can be subjected to interpretation as well. It may be interpreted as "He's guilty, ashamed, tt's y dun dare to speak up", or "He trying to act blur only, actually he is the $%^&* person" etc.

This makes me v upset actually. I honestly know tt in the Real Working World ouside there, everything is like tt. Imagine if some1 badmouths u in front of Boss, (not once but many times), gradually Boss will tend to believe tt maybe there is Some truth in the person's remarks. Inevitably, ur yr-end performance appraisal will be affected. Imagine me go to work need to guard against these stuff, now in DANCE, oso haf to like tt? Its so tiring for me. =(
Dance shldnt be this way but I simply dun understand why there r ppl who enjoy creating choas out of nothing. I know tt i go to work need to face such stuff & there's no escaping but in my interest, i oso haf to face these stuff??

Some ppl are juz too dangerous, yet e most scary part is tt nobody realizes they are dangerous, except me. Thereby, even if i do voice out they are malicious, its unlikely tt any1 will believe. Hence, the way i can opt is only to distance myself from them. Hopefully, when they realize tt im not obstructing their path of **"Success & Glory", i can be abstained from being MISUNDERSTOOD.

**The irony is this - what success is there in becoming a troupe's most senior person or tt equivalent? A dance troupe is always non-profitable, hence there is actually no success to mention at all. If u r looking for authority & power, mind u, every1 basically only listens to Mr Low, nobody has authority over anybody, becos this is no longer an ECA back in sch days. So, if power is e objective, then u r oso in the wrong place.

So the issue is - Why back-stab any1 at all? Dance is juz an interest. Pulling down some1 from grace and EVEN replacing tt person eventually, there is no success at all, why go thru all the trouble? So funny, so comical......

End of Entry

Super Tired

Towards the End

Dance Inspiration was established in 1993 by Mr Low, it was meant to let students with passion in dance have a place to express their interests & hone up their skills, as well as provide a platform for them to showcase their talents. Over the years, different batches have come & go, students have changed, the passion has worn off. But it has nv come close to a halt.

This time however, I sincerely think tt the troupe is in crisis, has gone towards the End. I was talking to Wan Ling today and being the 1st Gen gen of members for DI, (I belong to the 2nd Gen), we talked alot abt the past. I mention alot abt the current status of the troupe. It's not optimistic. Lets take a step back into History.

1st Gen - Wanling, Han Qiang, Yong Hao, Guang Ming etc
2nd Gen - Myself, Zixiang, Zhou Xiu, Angeline, Shan Bao etc
3rd Gen - Hui Ting, Connie, Thresa, Claire etc
4th Gen - Kai wei, Sam, Daryl etc
5th Gen - Xiao Sam tt batch + Wei Hong, Yi Long, Khoon hui etc
6th Gen & above - Kee Lui, Hann Bin, and the younger rest

Things dun look optimistic. In the past, we used to do lots of shows, in fact i dare say even till the 4th Gen, i was still doing shows with them, though i was over-aged in their batch. =P But things took a downturn when 5th Gen onwards ppl came along. That was also when we moved from BVCC to Kallang PA, if there are 4th Gen readers out there, i believe u all will know. How we used to talk cock in Holland V Breko after dance pracs. =D

The issue is this: It's an egg & chicken scenario. When students dun commit to take part in performances, Mr Low will not dare to undertake show requests. {Eg. I always remember becos those idiots nv commit (even when free), tt's why in 2005 Lao Jiu, Mr Low originally promised TTP 8 dancers, in the end only 4 - me, kw, yx, kenrick. Then he kanna upside down from TTP. =( }When there are no platforms for performing, students MAY (not absolute) see no pt in practising, cos no need perform. So coming for practices is not as impt. Hang out with frenz better.

So the cycle goes on and now in DI, everywk, many dun come for practices. Even if they appear, they dun practise at all. Then standard becomes lower & lower. Of course i do agree tt the INTENTION OF COMING is diff. I used to come cos i wanna hone my skills, improve etc. Now, the kids come becos of companions. But the issue is this, This troupe belongs to MR Low, he gets so disappointed & tired tt he oso dun feel like coming. HOW? I can really understand his stand, if i had a family, my Sundays will be precious to my family, why shld i come to spend time with the UNAPPRECIATIVE students at all? He spends time here, only to be disappointed to see ppl talking cock, fooling ard, nv practise anything.

Recently, he keeps telling me; "Zhongyi, i dun belong to this troupe anymore, u all like to do what u all do lor.." I seriously dunno how to react. i Always keep my mouth shut. Any readers out there can teach me? =(
There is nobody organizing the troupe. Nobody gives warmup at all, nobody pushes for anything, nobody turns up. This troupe was a free & easy troupe origianlly from 1st GEN. But back then, things still got some control. There were still some shows every yr, and approximately always got some ppl will wanna perform. Now, the ppl dun even perform, they juz come here for fun. Which they freaking forget one thing: Mr Low can easily ask u to pay $$ for using the tramp, the studio, the mattress etc. By right, there is no free lunch in this world. I daringly say: By right, we nv give Mr Low any $$ at all for all he has taught us, so rightfully, we could help him out by offering to perform for those shows so tt he doesnt haf to turn down requests. (Esp those shows which r becos of Ren Qing 人情)

But UNAPPRECIATIVE kids juz never commit. Diaozz, i was a student b4, if u cant commit when u in sec & JC/Poly, then Army liao all the more cannot commit what....

Bottomline is simple, IF all dun wanna commit, PLS juz dun come at all, then NOBODY comes at all, i dare say Mr Low at least can spend his Sundays with family. Now the troupe is neither here nor there, everywk, he oso dunno wanna come or not. He come, then he see things tt disappoint him again. He dun come, he feel tt like MAYBE there are still some enthu ones who will turn up, and being the nice teacher he is, he feels like shld treat us better etc.

This is getting nowhere lah. Talked to Wanling this morning, we talked so much tt i felt so apologetic taking up her work time =p

THE above mentioned is all my personal analysis from all the information I have. Perhaps there are some readers out there got more updated info than me, so things may be different. But back to topic, readers out there with abundant info, esp abt the "UNI saga", U tell me honestly, how to react to Mr Low's comment above? He mentions it so often, I everytime oso stumped, nv react. Ask him to stay and re-org the troupe, he may rebut : "Whats the pt?" Ask him to disband the troupe, then i become the BAD Guy who initiates the closure of a 14 yr old dance Troupe. DI -1993 -2007. And even IF i be bad guy, then HOW to disband? Send mass email to YahooGrps, tell every1 dun come anymore from now onwards? And DI will adopt another name? Then what if the new-born troupe, still got those ppl coming back, wont everything return back to sq one?


Totally sianz diao these days

End of Entry

Teaching experience @ Mayflower Sec

Time is 30 July 2007, Time has passed and i taught at Mayflower Sec for quite some time, shld be my last job b4 i step into audit line now. The teaching experience there was not fantastic, preferably because i couldnt really get in touch with the students due to the short lessons, i end up only having some vague impression of the students, shant blog down the CMI students so tt i dun bring along these CMI memories with me in the future.

In this entry, shall blog down those impressionable students tt really made teaching quite enjoyable in Mayflower Sec. Basically, they are 2007: 1E, 2A, 1I, 2E, 2I. Out of all these, of cos i had the most vivid impression of 1E which is the class selected to do a showcase, which i did up a 2 min item for them within 5 periods of lesson, ie. 2 1/2 hrs only, from non-dancers to performers. This one i oso quite stunned by myself tt i could change them in such a short period of time. I did up 3 versions of the item for them to choose, basically - Pop by N'Sync + Music makes u lose control, Pop (remixed version by myself), or Throw it on me (By Timbaland) + Pop. In the end, the students opted the easy way out and chose Pop (remix version) so ok lor, my other efforts went to waste but alright lor, the dance steps not v difficult. So in the end, they put up a showcase, and tt almost marks the end of my session with Mayflower, since this week is the last week.

Anyway, something worth mentioning is that the TIC of this Artist-in-School program, Mr Lam, he is really a good teacher. He really super good la, committed etc, now NHDS is really cos lack of this type of teacher, tt's y so CMI. Nowadays the teachers just lack this type of passion which the elder senior teachers used to haf... Haiz.....

Back to topic, teaching experience at MF Sec is ok ba, due to the presence of these few classes & Mr Lam, my life there is still tolerable. =) Whatever the case, this may probably be my last job, so i shall be happy & complete it. Will always remember the students who put in effort during my lessons =) Give the hardworking students good grades, & Fail those attitude ones.

End of Entry

Give credit & punishment when due

Only then can {Evaluation} be considered a fair tool of assessment

VG Chalet at Aranda Country Club



Finally had a VG chalet juz b4 end of graduation.... hahaha... Life was so simple there. Apparently, first day when we checked in, it was already super late with me, hui qun & yong shun only, the others all cannot make it on the first day.

In the end, a loser thing happened and I ended up playing 3 players' mahjong for the night till 2am. Siao lor, it was like so diaozz... Then on 2nd day 3rd July morning, I left the Country Club early & freaking travelled from Pasir Ris to Mayflower Sec Sch for the dance lessons. Wah piang it was tiring.... Then aft lunch, i went back to join them where Jingxian finally arrived.

The 4 of us then went to swimming, sauna etc, spent the afternn leisurely, nothing much of activity to talk of actually. But the issue is that, this type of life where u can do what u like w/o any stress & juz let time pass by is v relaxing..... I personally find it damn enjoyable.. Simple & easy, no activity = most activity....

For dinner we met Tinghan & luckily as he was driving, we went down to Geylang for steamboat. Food was ok, the only eventual event was tt we went back to chalet for a super final mahjong showdown till early morning 5 or 6 am. It was super jia lat... Apparently i only won abt thrice in the whole night from 11pm till morning... Still cannot believe it...
But dunno why when they count winnings in the end, i ended up being the overall winner... Abit funny & unbelievable...

Finally, at the end of the chalet on 4th July morning, i left early with Tinghan, he gave me a lift to Toa Payoh then i travel to Mayflower again for lessons. Didnt know how the rest of the VG members checked out..

Overall, this is really the kind of life i looking for la.. Super relax, i think better than grad trip where gotta travel to many many places & yet cant really enjoy & relax... Diaoz? Think i getting old? Like i super behaving like those retired personnel leh.... Aiyoh....

(Pai seh to all readers out there, i know my this entry a little boring & short but i juz wanted to pen down a simple relax "trip" which i enjoyed alot =) )

End of Entry

Simple is Bliss

ICE SKATING once again in 6 yrs

Well, time really flies, and after so long, i finally set foot on Fuji Ice Palace again. On saturday 16 Jun, went to ice skate with VG members. Taught Hui qun how to skate, though she did everything almost all by herself, i only there to give her assurance only =p Then cannot talk too much to her, she will lose concentration... Though i thought by talking she can dun be so tensed up, but in end, she end up telling me to keep quiet... diaozz....

The feeling is a little different from last time but the 'cool feel' of speeding on ice effortlessly is really nice. When its cold, and u glide along the ice smoothly, it feels really comfortable. If i can find ppl along, i might go again perhaps even once every week. 10 am when the skating ring juz opened, its nice without all those ppl.. Not so crowded, which means oso less dangerous la.. But the only imperfect thing abt this place is tt it plays Freaking Out-dated songs. Wah piang, cant imagine they are playing Leon Lai, Britney Spears' songs, which are donkey of years ago la.

The only song which i heard on saturday which i really think Wah Zai, is Daft Punk's Stronger Harder Faster Better. That's juz a perfect song for popping man....... wahaahah. But really the feel of ice skating is really good... Really helped me relieve stress, when gliding on ice, i simply feel so relaxed, though i will topple sometimes but yah, its nothing to pai seh abt, the key is know how to fall gracefully.... wahahah... =D

But anyway, so much for now, i may go ice skating every now & then perhaps.... =D Life's good

End of entry

U.N.I 2007

This entry is to express my passion for dance, my thanks & gratitude to frenz & fellow dancemates, and some of my greatest regrets in life. When i turn old & look back into this entries, perhaps i will sigh at why my life turned out to be like tt...

U.N.I 2007 ended on 26th May, with 2 days of performance straight. This used to be a Dance Inspiration project but e process & outcome didnt turn out like tt at all, All the production crew & choreographers shld haf known & realized tt this concert wasnt/ cannot be called a DI product at all. Nevertheless, i held on to the last & completed a few dances.
As i mentioned to Yi Meng & other VG members on 25th May, though in name i choreo 1 dance, but in substance i did 3 dances. The effort i put in 4 this production was so much more compared some other choreographers la, but listening to Kenneth, "Just try ur best for ur passion, tt's the only thing we can do", I juz pushed on..

UNI 2007 has ended, apparently oso seems like marking the end of my dance life.. Without dance performances, i dunno how my life will change. I told VG to come watch the perf cos its my last perf, which may la, i dunno what lies in the future. I will try my best to continue dancing, but maybe got no more chance to perform liao, tt's sad.... =(

So, marking towards the end of my dance performance/ dance life, the paragraph below is dedicated to my frenz =)

Thanks to Sam, Zhenyu, Zhiyan and those who came to help out during UNI
Thanks to VG who came to watch; Hui Qun, Yi Meng, Yongshun, Tinghan, cos this may be my last dance perf, i really appreciate u all coming
Thanks to Kenneth who still came though none of the NTU ppl came, thanks for always spurring me on in this Freaking route of mine, Hope u do well in ur route of Music =)
Thanks to the dancers of my UNI item, though the item was not up to my ideal, i still thank you for being a part of it, though i dunno u all enjoyed/ learnt anything from this post-modern dance or not... This may be my departing piece of work, hence i truly appreciate tt u all were a part of it, Thanx so much

Thanks to Lao Shi; Mr Low, for giving so much advice & encouragement along the way; HONESTLY SPEAKING HERE IN MY BLOG, I dunno the other items in UNI got throw ur face or not, but i sincerely hope my item didnt, I really really hoped tt this production didnt tarnish your reputation, seeing how it eventually turned out... And i Thank you for everything u haf done for this bunch of students whom u treat as ur children. When the production almost came to a halt, u even posed me a qtn: IF I were to cease this production now, will u all be v sad? (Showed that u placed the students above ur own reputation.... Respect!!!)
For the sacrifices u haf made for all these students, regardless whether worthwhile or not, I thank you & respect u for all u haf done...

For this sad part, which may be the greatest regret in my life, This is / drawing near to my last dance performance. The thought tt a job which i dislike (auditor) is draining my life away, i cant do things i like; Dance is gonna be history for me soon, and im sad tt i cant become a dancer/ instructor as a job. Perhaps its an issue of no flair, no opportunity, no networks. Hence, I really lack all the essential elements. But the harsh truth tt im not cut out for dance eventually simply juz demoralizes me, and puts my morale down, worst to worst it may sometimes even put my self-confidence down.... I oso dunno dance is good/ bad for me... Haizz....

水能载舟, 亦能覆舟

End of Entry

百感交集

表演, 舞蹈, 艺术 (Thoughts from Rize)

My DVD ordered from Yesasia finally reached today, Its a Region 1 DVD, luckily my laptop can play, if not $$ wasted... Ordered the Documentary film RIZE, which is abt krumping & clowning.. But to my very own surprise, the dvd inspired me not only in hip hop dancing, it inspired me to think abt 表演, 舞蹈, 艺术.

The documentary film touched on the origins of clowning & krumping. Watching the REAL stuff, i realized tt MTV krumping is so commercialized & really runined the spirit of krumping... Krumping was actually abt ppl expressing their anger, emotions, hatred, frustrations etc via some unrehearsed movements. Its all abt culture, its not longer DANCE alone. The setting where krump really originated was in USA, where gang fights, Shootings, drugs are everywhere, Life is hard for these Blacks. They cannot go to dance academy (no ballet, waltz, jazz etc), no $$. And they got no sports (not even american football/ basketball, tt is only possible in the main cities, according to the film la)

Hence everywk, teenagers juz crowd together at some garage or open space, with some music, and u dance..... Got no other activity what..... Give out all the angst & fustrations. Hence everything is every wild & beastly, which the documentary film show some parallel clips of Ancient African/Red Indian?? dance, which really found many similarities. The issue here is tribal.... Which led me to think of more abt the 表演, 舞蹈, 艺术 aspects...

Krumping, as a dance, is v tribal & has 宗教性, which led me to think abt the 乩童 in 庙会, actually we can draw many similarities in these two 表演. And the interesting thing is tt, both coincides with a common theatre theory - Antonin Artaud's Theatre Of Cruelty 残酷剧场. I really find that extremely amazing, each form of performance haf so much in common & all can be classified together under some performance theory.

什么是舞蹈, 什么是表演, 什么是艺术? 有人说舞蹈是通过肢体来表达讯息,情感,剧情等. 真的只是这样吗? 表演,艺术, 舞蹈, 甚至剧场, 四者之间的关系又是怎样的? 其中的微妙关系实在难以清楚明确地刮分.....

而舞蹈更是与宗教有着密切关系. 远古时代,第一个舞蹈应该是巫师吧! 之后,舞蹈也成了战争的附属品, 所以有所谓的"战舞". 当然之后, 舞蹈开始有了娱乐的作用 (宫廷舞,街头戏,勾栏/瓦舍), 但是无可争辩的是舞蹈的最初形态是与宗教有着密切关系. 舞蹈是带有"宗教性"的. 而Krumping 更加有这样的色彩. 看了之后, 我真的对于表演,艺术, 舞蹈, 甚至剧场有另一种体会.

Hence, i pen down this entry.... Its really inspiring... =) It has been a long time since i blogged abt something so enthusiastically....

End of Entry

NTU Memories

This entry is dedicated to all those whom i haf met in NTU, whether by chance or by fate. Time is Apr 12 2007, graduating soon from NTU, life will be different. Read Weiming's blog, hence got a sudden urge to write something & list down frenz's name juz in case next time old liao will forget...

My most appreciative thanx to all those frenz whom i made in NTU, u all haf an impact in my life in one way or another.. =)

Top 5 - Teddy Lim, Kenneth Tan, Liow Ee Jun, Ou Weiming, myself
Jianwei with his critical comments, Zesi & Cow Lim Junqi with their nonsense on msn everytime, Lynn Tan with her addressing me as 'Da ge' everytime though i really think i dun deserve tt =), Angie Chin with her nice personality & screaming "Zhongyiiiiiiiiiii" when she sees me, Adelene Fong the gan jiong Spider, Gwen, the super tall girl, always making me feel so extremely short when walking beside her, Eliz the super blur girl dying to become like Faye (FIR)......

Vierte Gekijio members; Elynn, Yi meng, Yongshun, Tinghan, Jingxian, Wei Hao, Weichang, myself Thanx for all you all haf done... though our perf : Masquerade was a short performance, which oso turned out to be our only performance, hahaha but i really really really ENJOYED it alot...


Come to think of it, i made really v little frenz compared to many other ppl in Uni.... hmmm, something is wrong with me... Haiz, everytime lidat, CMI..... =(

Anyway thanx every1 for making my life different....

Next portion tribute to memorable events in NTU life, not in accordance of importance;
1) Masquerade perf at Nayang Fine Arts with VG memebers, plus all the Tea House gatherings
2) All Top5 Gatherings
3) Impromptu Taiwan Trip with Weiming & Teddy, tt was really a trip which i enjoyed alot
4) 2D2N trip at Desaru

Next, some gangs which i joined in NTU
1) Forming of Top 5, with Teddy Lim as managing director, wahaha...
2) Vierte Gekijio - 8 members
3) 3x Scorpio gang comprising of me, Weiming, Eliz
4) FIR - Myself, Ang Chih Yeong & Eliz, with Eliz as Faye, CY as guitarist, me as Chen Jian Ning, diaozz right? cos my glasses tinted, and i look more stern.... hahaha

Like v little right? Maybe tt's y my Uni life not eventful enough.... Anyway, now currently cant think of anything more, will edit this entry & update in the future...

Unfinished

I took a bus home from Bishan on Sat, 31 Mar 2007. Was really surprised & shocked to see this layout of the bus. It's an SBS bus 54, and inside the seats layout is like tt.. The whole Bus is being so-called sponsored by Nokia, to be exact, nokia 5300. Even the entertainment on board is something called Music Mobile, and it plays some latest MTVs. As long as u are in the bus, u can activate ur Bluetooth to d/l this song for FREE... Though i dunno issit only exclusive to Nokia Hp users. But this bus layout really stunned me, and in the end, i enjoyed so much, i didnt even alight, i decided to sit all the way till Outram Bus Interchange then walk home from there...

The Bus is really cool sia.. The layout uses a concept of a pub/ bar etc.. Follow the photos, u can see that there is even a design of a table & chair juz like tt in a pub... I, and every1 else who boarded the bus was so amazed and ppl started taking photos with their hp.

Of cos i most extreme la, go every diff corner to take, since im the only one who sit from Interchange to Interchange... Wahaahah.....

Photos from Diff angles, basically i captured the whole bus from front to end compartment... Ppl who visit my blog, hope u all oso find this interesting.... Though i may appear a little stupid...

=)

许久的一个笔录

时间是三月十九日2007，我决定在这一天把生命中重要的决定写下来。距离毕业还有两个月左右，而我始终一事无成，对于前途事业感到迷惘。那天，老爸的好友忽然间去世了，三天前才刚和老爸聚会，三天后竟远离人世。妈听到这个消息也吓了一跳。那天晚上，他们对我说：人生无常，所以要做什么赶快去做，要不然没有机会了。

听了我就不知道做什么了。其实，我对舞蹈真的没有天分，我是否真的应该全心全意投入舞蹈工作？还是安安稳稳地当Deloitte的Auditor? 一个有稳定的收入，一个没有。一个是只要肯值夜班，熬通宵，过了五年，一定会有金钱回报。另一个则不知是否能养活自己，更不要说养活家庭。其实，我到底该如何抉择？我不想选择，因为我知道两个选择都会严重影响我接下来会过什么样的生活。常言道：男怕入错行，女怕嫁错郎。

我真的不知如何是好。。。。。舞蹈虽然使我常常很开心很充实，但同样的，它也造成了我许多的不快。我不是出类拔萃的舞蹈家，我是否该投身于舞蹈工作呢？

Huayi Festival 07/ Movies / Music
(Countdown of 4 mths to worklife)


Time is 6 Mar 07. Recently spent alot of time on performances, movies, music etc. Last yr at Huayi Festival, i went to watch Fei Chang Ma Jiang (Mahjong), Cursive by Cloud Gate DT. This yr i went to watch An Lian Tao Hua Yuan and B.O.B The Final Cut.... Movies & DVD wise, i watched quite alot, did some catching up with the current/ past movies; Dreamgirls, Take The Lead, BoA Best of Soul concert, Luna Sea Final Act concert, Coyote Ugly. Did not watch The Protege by Andy Lau, Follow Law by Jack Neo, sianz....

But recently life is abit siao, kinda lost of direction liao, dunno what to do.... Last sem coming to an end, work life gonna start, i oso dunno now can do what... juz keep playing & playing but nothing concrete seems to be done.... Am i living my life the way it shld be? What exactly did i miss out?

Recently went to attend GE courses, realized tt i continue to learn alot, but OTOH, all these knowledge dunno got use or not lei.. Im happy learning it, but apparently its such a pity i got no opportunity to put these knowledge into use.... Shld i juz carry on like a clown, enjoying every moment & day of my life, but nothing concrete comes out of it, OR shld i go do something concrete out, but yet may not be enjoying the process though...?

How shld i live my life for the next coming 4 mths?
Time is early Mar, July start work.... Dance is coming to an end....

End of Entry

2007 CNY Coming (Where is the Prestige of being a NHDS dancer?)

Life is such, CNY is coming, Valentines' juz passed... Sigh... Time is 16Feb. My injury is giving me more & more probs liao, cant even determine if its remeuthism or injury... Jia lat, dunno still can dance till when? Life is hard on me, gotta struggle on...

Back to NH; a place i once could go back in the past whenever i feel down, now is no longer the same. Of cos everything in this world changes with time, but changes can be for the better too, unfortunately NHDS is changing simply from bad to worse. Things juz cant function la, now left wei hong & sam doing all the work liao, the rest are like virtual? Jie yim dunno what she busy with, the 1990 batch oso like totally invisible one, haiz..... NHDS cannot make it liao, I mean during Paul & wei hong era, still got grads to help "extinguish the fire" but now dun haf liao, and the TIC is worse lor, last time it was bad, now its worse.... Clearly, being a NH dancer has almost lost all its prestige. Whats the point now liao?

Back in sch, u haf kids competing & being uncooperative simply becos they feel they better than the seniors? The exco having such a bad time la.... Respect and stuff are not built on dance skills la... Dunno if they know what is respect? NHDS is getting harder & harder to manage... Hmmm, wonder is it cos i old liao, no much more drive & motivation? Anyway, my last try in helping this batch ba... Im quite sure next batch no chance liao... Hahaha got so many AP ppl, wanna help them they oso wont appreciate...

Things dun look postitive ah, Grads dun behave like grads, juniors dun behave like juniors, TIC dun behave like TIC...

Anyway, CNY is coming so shall F*** care everything first, aft holiday then say.... hahaha

End of Entry

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

New Post of 2007

Time is now 27 Jan 2007, A start of a new year, this is my final sem in Uni, will be working in DT after graduation, i wonder how my life will be transformed into.... Sigh.... No life..

Things are still pending now, lots of things are... This sem is rather happy, rather free to adjust my own timing, fill up my free time with things i like to do... =) Its alright, quite satisfied, but things gonna turn ugly after Graduation i suppose...
Wonder if Yingying can really help me? If yes, then the chances of the ideal of what Hui qun told me may actually be able to come true... =D Hahaha, Hai Die....

But anyway, if all things collapse and fall thru, then dance can only be a thing of the past liao... Sobz.... =( Things not optimistic, family income is zero, gotta support mum & dad asap, DT is a safe choice but not my ideal choice... Lets just see how things goes ba....

All i can say to God/ Destiny, is tt: I haf tried my best, i worked hard amidst all the constraints i am given; Yes, tt may not be my best effort, i could haf participated in more competitions, signed up for more dance classes, but this is what i haf worked hard amidst all the constraints, hence i am/ have to be willing to accept whatever consequences of my choices...

Start of 2007

Prelude to Essay 12 : When did your heart stop loving me?

Well, Yes Finally finished my 12th essay aft a damn long time... Sorry no ling gan & no feelings, no time to do due to exams & dance at NHDS, so finally can sit down within these 2 weeks to complete this... This time, dun treat this as an essay, instead treat it as a song... Realize i wrote 'Prelude' instead of 'Foreword'? Cos i treated this as a song, which is why its length is relatively short....

As usual, readers feel free to comment... The ling gan of this product comes from 2 songs; namely my current blog song; "Its gonna be alright" by Shinhwa & "Just Like Now" by Kang Ta. The lyrics for Kang Ta's song are listed below... The song is v touching, i got the feelings by listening to a song whose language i dun understand, can u imagine how touching KT's voice is? I mean to touch some1's heart where he cant even understand what u singing, his vocals are really super good lah, its injected with life & soul..... =) Personally i like the last 2 paras of this product, felt tt i ended it a smooth way, readers how abt u?
Readers, u able to spot which are the words may be used for a chorus? =) some phrases are used repeatedly in this essay/song cos i deliberately wish to create a 'chorus effect' though i dunno successful or not lah...... =p

(Just Like Now) By: Kang Ta

The moment I first saw you, my heart stopped.
It was as if all my many lonely days were spent waiting for you...

I just can't believe that you are standing right before my eyes.
It has started for me...from the moment you and I first met today...

The coming bright morning, the shining/gleaming afternoon, even the dark night...
They will also be happy because of you...

Even my lonely days which I struggled through for so long...just wandering about...
Since you're here now, I'm sure it won't be the case anymore...

Your oh so lovely appearance and my feelings for you...I wish they go on forever...
May this very moment right now be forever...as I take care of you

End of prelude

When did your heart stop loving me?

雪不断地落下，我披着雪白色的外套，望着纷飞的雪花，感叹着岁月的飞逝。。。冷冷的风迎面向我刮来，但却远不及内心的寒冰。此时此刻，你不在身边，我不知所措。孤独的日子依旧持续不断，似乎快忘了当初相遇时的情形，但是桃花依旧、人事已非。。。。

至今你已身在何处？不知现在是谁在握着那双温柔的手、亲吻那柔软的双唇？那个已不再出现在我面前的倩影，我依然深深思念着，是我错。。。面对这个冬天，阳光无法驱走寂寞，残留下来的依然是那脆弱的心灵，挥之不去的痛。即将来临的黎明、明媚的清晨、褪色的黄昏、冷酷孤寂的黑夜，它们都为你而动容，在每个思念你的一天。记忆已似乎没有存在的价值，但还是在内心深处徘徊着。。。

白色玫瑰是你的最爱，在这个色彩缤纷的世界，你对白色、红色情有独钟。飘逸的头发总是散发着迷人的芳香。两口子总是以双“单词”对话，仿佛有如婴孩呀呀学语。喜欢你总是对 Toy Toy念念不忘，喜欢听小猪与大灰狼的故事，喜欢你常在我手臂咬上一口，喜欢你总是看到婴儿就浑然忘我，喜欢和你一起共享绿茶口味的雪糕，喜欢“鹿鹿与抱抱”，喜欢在你生病时陪你去看医生，喜欢在你不开心时陪在你身旁。。。

快乐的时光总是不长久，那一点一滴的欢乐会长存我心中，陪我度过每一个孤寂的冬天。从春夏至秋冬，我还是找不到你的身影，没有人可以像你。离开你是一种煎熬，知道我在你生命中出现得不是时候；在你离去的那一刻，白色玫瑰枯萎了，落下的眼泪随即凝结成冰，沙钟里的流沙也流尽了，点唱机的最后一曲也到了曲终人散的阶段。。。 在你离去的那一刻，黑夜降临、黑夜白昼已无分别，时钟的秒针停止转动，心跳的旋律不再美妙。。。。

在过去的记忆里寻找你，逐渐成了一个习惯，从春夏至秋冬。睡梦中的我依旧听见你甜美的歌声，那把只存在梦境里的歌声。即将来临的黎明、明媚的清晨、褪色的黄昏、冷酷孤寂的黑夜，在醒来的这一天，请容许我再爱你多一天。。。

Love is...... Don't worry about me Girl, I'm gonna be alright..............

End of Song

Your EQ is 160

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

In Appreciation to those ppl ard me who believed in me

时间是26 NOV 2006, 今天在PA做舞蹈, 依旧面对那些让我心灰意冷的事, 当然一切都是重蹈覆辙. 对于这些事, 我虽已司空见惯, 但还是会影响我的心情. 不过呢, 在此每次都因舞蹈而悲伤的我, 想对周围的人说声: 谢谢你们!!
时代已不同, 我懂的东西已经似乎不被现在的年轻人接受...... 无助的我真的非常感谢所有在我身旁的人, 谢谢你们仍然相信我的理念, 我的那一套学说....

舞蹈在PA 已经非昔日时的情况, 所以我真的唯有凭自己的努力走下去, 真的不知会变怎么样, 但真的谢谢现今周围的人, 因为有你们的信任, 我才会一直坚持自己的理念.
Honestly i just suddenly thot of what Jeff Tan taught me: Arts (whether visual arts, musical arts, performing arts, digital art etc) in its finest form, is usually not understood by most ppl. If u really want, then just do it, as to whether what are the critics/ audience comments, they are not important. Whether u make it big or not, is really dependent on Time & Culture. The flair for arts is a black/white situation, no grey. Its either u haf it, or u dun.... It cant be trained/ nutured......
Its the harsh truth.

Come to think of what he say, hmmm.... maybe really v true.... Sigh..... Unfortunately, i dun haf it but still wish to do it..... 简直是飞蛾扑火.......

执着的我

飞蛾扑火

THE PRESTIGE

Time is Nov 9 2006, as usual an all time low period in my life.. Everytime i thot this was the lowest, it always gets lower again.... haizz.... Life is hard on me, or maybe simply becos i not strong enough? Dunno who to blame, what to do, i can only constantly remind myself that i m already v fortunate to haf whatever i haf now, cos all these r not granted... Maybe i may be born in a third world country next life, where i dun even haf $$ to buy food, how to worry whether my life is happy/ successful/ eventful or not... But sincerely i do wish to say: Being appreciative is appreciative, sincerely deep down inside im still unhappy, and i know the unhappiness is brought by myself, so i got no choice... Cos i Kan bu kai, Fang Bu Xia, too stuborn, so bring abt unhappiness... I mean: becos i kan bu kai, so yah lor, gotta accept & endure the unhappiness in my life lor... Its a matter of choice & consequences ba..... Haizzz.... Hopefully thru this sighing, i can get rid of all my unhappiness =)

This entry is to talk abt the movie: THE Prestige, as well as some insights as to what this movie has influenced me...
First & foremost, this movie is really deep & lots of underlying meaning, depending on how u wish to interpret the movie and also how u wish to apply those principles to ur own life... few weeks haf passed since i watched tt movie, and yet i still haf not finished discovering ALL the interpretations, Damn deep, damn good movie sia....

Shant bore this entry with all the technical analysis & critique of this movie, shall do it when i more free next time... Next, is to write down something tt has an impact in my life, the critical sentence mentioned in the movie: OBSESSION IS A YOUNG MAN'S GAME
Well, yup many times i m unhappy is perhaps due to this sentence? not tt i shld regard myself old & dun care anymore abt anything since obsession is a young man's game, but yah, since it is detrimental to me, perhaps i shld follow this good advice & give up on some obsession?

Dance has always been my passion, but i dunno since when, dancing in DI is no longer fun... Becos of the UNI production, things are getting v ugly there, everytime i read the emails from DI, everytime i witness the ppl booking the studios & the dancers, i can see ugly things.... Dance can no longer be the way i enjoy it, hence an all time low for me in life.... In addition, any efforts by me to extend my dance life is being destroyed or spoiled by perhaps fate? i dunno what to classify that but yah......

Frenz who know tt i applied for that job is still pending right? F*** it lor, so now my dreams/ideal seems shattered cos BIG 4 is coming in already... I have to decide by Dec if not next yr grad then no more job vacancy liao... & yet F*** thing is audit is not life i want, not tt i hate audit, its juz tt if i go audit, i gotta give up all my other talents lei, Hello its ALL!!!!!!
Dance, Theatre & Drama, Chinese Studies, Cinemotography, everything.....

So yup, i dunno what Life has installed for me in the future, i dunno how im going to spend the rest of my life.... All i can know is perhaps give up obsession may make me a happier man? Suddenly recall a song by Moon Hee Jun, Alone.... That song is so meaningful =)

LIFE

Food for thought

The entire entry this time, i copied it from Juncheng's blog, so to recognise the copyright, credits to Juncheng. I took these cos i felt they were meaningful, not necessary definitely correct but some food for thought.. I remembered the first time i read it few weeks/months ago, i found it v interesting, so copied it over here, so tt i can go thru now & then or even when i get older.... =)

1) dare to try and venture
it is of human nature to be curious. however, this curiousity wears off as we proceed on in life due to the falls we experienced and the pain we endured. it becomes our instinct to be cautious of every little risks and dangers that may revolve around the things that appears as strangers to us. but how are we going to live life to the fullest and live meaningfully when your life would be trapped and isolated off in a fantasy world of your own, just like a sealed crate sealing your fate as a mundane, monotonous and mechanical life. sometimes for some things we do in life there is just no time to ponder whether it would be feasible to approach something in some ways, for time and chance waits for no one and at times once gone, it is gone for good. taking a rational risk in lifemay just bring you surprises that you might not have dreamt of and expected.

2) enjoy and don't compare
everyone is unique, and so are their life. so how are we suppose to compare and for what, when there are billions of living people on this Earth and everyone have a different kind of happiness as well as problems. unless you are a god who is supposedly perfect, we should look at life in a accepting way. if that's Fate and nothing can be done to change it, anger and tears ain't going to bring us anywhere. rather, why not take things in our stride and just let it go? enjoy life as it is, 'cos you would not understand how blessed you are until you let every single happenings seeps through your soul and accept your destiny the way it is. as long as you are happy, that is your own paradise.

3) simplicity rocks
we are exposed to everything and anything under the sun, be it good or bad. we lost our innocent mind we used to have as a child and learnt how to think. however, the more we think, the more complex things get. the more we treat life as a problem and the more we try ways and means to solve it, it ended up messier than it was. why not be simple for once? there are many different shades of blue we know of, from bright to dull. when asked to describe blue, most would ponder which one is the purest and most basic form of blue? same with our life. we get lost as we try to change and adapt for the better, yet at he same time the more we learn, the more we think, the more we change, the more confused we get. we lose our way, we lose our identity, and we even lose our soul at point of time, banishing ourselves into a nobody. we are who we are, and we just need to be ourselves and the most natural and best form to be a somebody attractively unique.

4) don't give up too fast
stress, failures, obstacles...all these have contributed to our disappointments and frustrations once and again. they will never stop coming until the day you vanish from the surface of this world. if that is so, why bow to the demon that tripped you so hard? fight it! we lack of perserverance, as one would often give the excuse that one failure after another has beaten the morale and and worn patience out. "you'll never fail until you stop trying", and that is an attitude we ought to hold when dealing with daily life problems. you will eventually reap what you sowed and enjoy that sweetness of success in life.

5) treasure whatever you have
humans always fail to treasure their precious in life until they lose them. some things comes along once, unless time rewinds you will not find a exact duplicate of it ever again. appreciate what you have in life, and be thankful to things around you. even if it is something bad, be positive about it. learn to love it as a experience gained as well as an important lesson for your life, for without it in future encounters you will lack the skills to face it. express your appreciation as well as your concerns to the loved ones around you before its too late in this ever unpredictable life, be it friends, kins or even if he or she is just an acquaintance. make someone's day, and one day someone will just make your day.

Copyright from Juncheng's blog

Beachboys <<海滩男孩>>

时间是2006 年九月，我已是大学生。认识我的朋友，与我电邮沟通的人都知道我的地址是Beachboys。这个电邮址是从1998年伴随我到现在。将来它也还是有存在的意义。到底Beachboys的意义在哪里？

出生在我那个年代的人应该对哈日风熟悉吧！Beachboys，海滩男孩，是日剧的戏名，是由反町隆史、竹野内丰、广末凉子主演的。剧情我就不在这儿多说了，主要的是；竹野内丰是一个放弃高薪职位的商业精英，来到海边的民宿寻找不一样的生活。反町隆史则是一位无所事事的青年，看似没出息，但他其实曾是国家队的首号游泳健将，因受伤而退出，他一样来到民宿寻找他理想中的生活方式。民宿是广末凉子的爷爷经营的，而她也住在那儿。这部戏用了海洋来比喻许多人生的哲理。

这部戏在我十五岁时已在我脑海里留下了深深的印象。我到底要过什么样的生活？这辈子应如何度过？因此，每当我生活不如意时，看看<<海滩男孩>>，听听它的原声带总是能让我平伏心中的忧郁。生活方式有千百种，应该没有人可以对我的生活价值提出质疑。。。。虽然我生活不如意，没有任何成就可言，读书、才智、舞蹈、才华，我真的好像什么都没有，但我还是真的希望可以活出一个精彩的人生。 若有人问我，你理想的生活方式是什么，我很天真的说：其实就是<<海滩男孩>>里的那种生活方式。

在戏里，广末凉子的爷爷在最后一集对两位男主角说：这是属于我的海洋，不是你们的。你们应该去寻找自己的海洋。而Beachboys 的经典句子就是“寻找自己的海洋”。可悲的是我至今都没有找到自己的海洋，或许新加坡真的不适合我吧？

我很喜欢大海的原因也是由Beachboys启发的。我没想到海洋原来可以反映那么多的人生观。我喜欢海洋给我带来的那种平静。想想，我也好久没到海边去了，好吧，就在这个星期的学校假期，选个晚上到那儿去走走，吹吹海风 =) 我很希望自己可以活得很好，我想我可能真的不适合商业社会的勾心斗角吧？想到一年后，我的职业，我就总是闷闷不乐。。。

我的海洋究竟在哪里？海洋或许可算是最能慰藉我受伤的内心的治疗，虽然我承认它治标不治本。海洋真的对我很重要，对我有深远的意义。希望从此以后，身边的朋友们也都会知道Beachboys 对我有何含意。=) <<海滩男孩>> 会永远存活在我心中。。。。

End of Entry

Shinhwa concert 2006 in Singapore

Time is 15 Sep 2006, Shinhwa concert was on 10 Sep, but now then i got time to do an entry. Actually still no time one, juz tt i decided to forgo study time to blog an entry. Well, if u can recall, in 2006, my last yr NTU, final yr Acc, i m v unhappy this yr. Things are not going well and they juz seem to get worse. Juz look at this entry, i willing to forgo time to study oso wanna blog, u can imagine how wilful & unhappy i m. Precisely its like, the work & other social factors make my life so mizerable, i already wanna F*** care alot of things liao, tt's y wilfully wanna blog instead of studying for AA306 & AA304. Nbz, got quiz next week i still so wilful. I think any reader can see tt my mood is damn bad liao =(

Okie, back to topic. Shinhwa's concert in Singapore. Yup, the first Korean Band/ Artist to hold a concert in Singapore. All i can say is: they are the longest running band still exsistent(nv disband yet) in the history of Kpop, and there is a reason for this. Cos they are all too talented. U put them together, u get a super combi which u can nv search for anywhere else. And yet, they are so talented, they can advance in their solo careers as well, but juz nv disband. So in team & individually, they all excel. Damn good. H.O.T is oso v good, maybe even better than Shinhwa, but pity they disbanded due to musical differences. Cos Kang Ta likes Jazz/ Bossa Nova genre more, Hee Jun likes Rock, and the Jae Won, Tony, Woo Hyuk still prefers Rap & Hip Hop. So it really ain't easy to keep a band united...

So the performances were great, but i think due to Fatigue, the performance was rather below par, at least compared to their concerts held in Korea. But still i wanna blog an entry cos i hope tt when i old tt time , still can remember when did i go for a Korean Concert. =)

The songs by them:
Perfect man, Hey Come on, Hero, Angel, I pray for u, Only one, Wild eyes, Once in a Lifetime, Brand New, Your Man, Shooting star, Ended the concert with :How do i Say

Some songs i forgot liao, so didnt manage to blog, but according to straits times, they sung 19 songs, which i lost count.... Actually wish to blog abt a critique of their performane, but i really realize tt i really not mood today. Thinking back, actually i have been in a low mood since my Uni days started...
Depression juz cannot leave me, and it juz ends up in a viscous cycle. The longer depression stays with me, the more my depression becomes. The more the magnitude, the longer it stays and everything juz repeats... I oso dunno why & how come i become lidat?

End of Entry

Taiwan Trip (Part 2)

Well, for part 2 of the entry, i simply wish to jot down where i went during the 6 day trip. Strictly speaking, its a 5 day trip lah, cos last day was nothing, i think juz queueing up for S.H.E qian chang hui, then went to this v nice restaurant called Coke Forest, ie. Coca Cola Forest lah, serving food equivalent to Swensen's or Breko etc.

So lets start from Day 1

After reaching Taipei and settling at the hotel, it was already night time. So we took there Kuai Tie (our MRT equi) to Shi Da Night Market. Had lots of food there, something worth mentioning is the Dessert there, yup the ice kachang kinda dessert. Fen Yuan Dou Hua (AKA Bubble Tea Pearls + Dou Hua) is something u gotta try, =) though i had even better deserts at i think Rao He Jie Night Market (siao liao, start to forget liao) better jot down everything b4 i suffer from STM.....

Day 2

Wah, shiong this day is damn shiong.... Went to Yang Ming Shan National Park. In the end becos we took a diff bus and landed on the other side of the hill, we went up from west to the sub-peak (note: is sub-peak hor, didnt even go to peak, cos too shiong) and came down from the east... End up like Chiong Sua, back to army days... Haha, was a great exp, but i think no more next time... hahaha.... really lah, the feeling like army, gotta water break, take rest etc. cannot one shot finish the whole trip... Shiong =p

Aft tt, we went Dan Shui & Yu ren Harbour, haha... That was where i got my most prized item in this whole trip... All my doraemon soft toys, not available in Singapore one... Hahaha, bought so many of them... Haha and now tt im back, i kinda regret didnt buy more.. Was afraid kanna scolded by parents 4 spending on these type of things, but in the end, Haha, they loved toys so much, they ask me why nv buy More? hahaha, so happy....
Oh then at Yu ren Harbour, it was v nice & romantic, too bad no girlfriend, if not it would have served a v meaningful memory. Went to the Lovers' bridge, scenery is so nice....

Lastly went over to Shi Lin Night Market... Wah piang, come to think of it, we so zai lor, one day go 4 places.... Hahaha... Shi Lin Night market was good, got so many shops and food, but we didnt haf enough time, so in end we went back there again on i think the 4th day... Haha

Day 3

Haha damn shiok, this was the best day/ best place i went this time... Went to Jiu Fen and Ji Long Miao Kou. Haha Jiu Fen was really fun & peaceful & calming... We went there walked ard, and most imptly, we went to Chinese Tea House, the tea, ambience, scenery was totally perfect. & i muz emphasize: The Yu Yuan (Yam Balls) Dessert is like so nice lor... Haha, thinking of it makes me hungry again =p
After a long day, we ended up at Ji Long Miao Kou... Wahaha, dun ask me what i had for dinner.. All i can say is tt its a sumptous meal much cheaper than in Singapore, but still its a little unappetitizing... =p

Day 4

Day 4 nothing special, was a shopping day. Went to the CKS Memorial Hall but aft tt it was all shopping. like i said, me & frenz went back to Shi Lin to shop, and we finally got to try the XL size Chicken Cutlet for only S$2.50. So damn cheap & nice.... Delicious Sia....

Day 5

We ended up at Wu Fen Pu & Rao He Jie Night Market... Wu Fen Pu is the Bugis Street of Singapore? The fashion sense there is quite zai, even if u dun buy anything (highly unlikely though) u really get to learn how to match ur clothes (if u dunno how to play mix & match), juz by looking at the shops' displays. Even for dancer like me, i get to learn how to design clothings for stage purposes, not only everyday dressing... This simply shows tt Taiwanese dress more elaborately than Singaporeans, the fashion there is much more interesting... =)
Rao He Jie Night Market, whats worth mentioning is again Dessert & one more Zai shop than our Singapore $1 shop.
Dessert serving is scary lor, i had Glass Jelly+Dou Hua+Yu Yuan. In the end, i think the auntie used half a cube of ICE for my bowl... Siao, damn big ah... Hahaha....
Oh then shop, pls lah, what is $1 shop man? There the shop is selling off all things such as bigs, wallets and other misc stuff like what u see in Singapore $1 shop for juz $10 NT which equates to S$0.50. Madness right? Me & frenz see liao oso stunned... =p

Okie written so much, i think readers oso sian, so i shall not indulge in my Taiwan trip thingy. Jotted all these down juz to remind myself where i went... Aft all the events i did, i can recall with the help of all those photos taken, so yup, tt's all... =)

Next entry i may then add my comments/feelings/thots/interesting events on taiwan trip =)

End of Entry

Taiwan Trip (part 1)

Time is 31 July 2006, i returned from taiwan yesterday, first trip overseas with frenz. Its oso my first trip to taiwan. Within the 6 day 5 night trip, its a rush hence we only limited our tour to Taipei, hence to be strictly specific, i only toured Taipei, but its really great.

For a bumpkin like me, who nv went for backpac tours b4, this was a good exp. I managed to see how things were like in Taiwan, how others live their lives, how that w/o luxury goods, a life could still be fulfiling. I think what i gained most from this trip is tt i now can view things in a more different way, and thereby live a more fulfiling life w/o too much unhappiness. Looking ard Taiwan, i realize tt life is simply L.I.F.E, Living Is Fruitful Enough, i came up with tt on my own. It doesn't sound stupid to me, becos cost of living and style of life is so diff in other countries, i got to realize & exp that life in Singapore is too complicated, a simple life may be interesting as well.... Thereby, Living Is Fruitful Enough, as long as there is life, then it is already a fruitful journey.

Life is such, i am really happy for this taiwan trip, cos i somehow get to understand and get over some things which i all along couldnt in the past. Of cos in the near future, i believe those dead knots in my life will keep recurring and make me think thru again & again, but i m sure, with this entry, it can remind me of what i saw in Taiwan, {the lifestyle, the culture etc}, so tt i will be more appreciative and satisfied with my life. =)

With tt, i end off this entry with special thanx to Teddy, Weiming & Huifang. Thanx for making this trip possible though it started out as a joke/ casual remark. =)

End of Part 1

Nice & True song

Well, readers, long time nv blog liao, this is the first time i m blogging ever since my PA ended.
Time has passed, these 10 weeks i oso dunno how i survive them. Back to my entries, i shall blog more often now.

Time is 20 July 2006, few days b4 i leaving for taiwan, abit moody recently, heard this song from the radio, found the lyrics v meaningful & true, most impt, its so real! For my colleague in Bensyl, Alex; he juz broke up with his gf, immediately after he returned from a Hongkong overseas trip. Its really a tragedy to me, go company holiday trip, come back girlfriend say break off..... =( Whats more the trip was only 4 days only, over the weekends only, and this type of things can happen....
Really sad for him =(

So i listen to this song, and i found it so true, so real, so nice...
Touching....
Why things so sian? Ppl ard me all got relationship problems recently =( Its so depressing to see everyone so sorrowful... Life seems like no meaning.....

Well Ppl, enough said, all i can say abt relationships is that: Do cherish whatever u haf at that point of time... Enjoy this song, the lyrics are below... A song by Lin JJ

歌曲：原来

词:张思尔 林秋离曲:林俊杰

街灯绊住我眼前
下一步
拉长的影子
嘲弄的回顾
电话亭仍留着你的话
一句话掉一滴泪
今晚的我会是如何入睡

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离

原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

说故事也要像是真的
可是别触动那些回忆
今夜你说了最后一句
一句话掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我很难入睡

End of Entry

一个人生活 (Foreword)

A short essay has been produced =) This essay maybe not so well-done but becos i dun wanna repeat too much things tt haf already appeared in my previous essays, so yup, i omitted quite lots of stuff in this new essay. But the new thing abt this essay is the inclusion of the english words. Yup the words aren't meant to be read like a story, in fact, it should be read in the form of a Rap. Yes!! Rap.... Haha, didnt know i could oso come up with such stuff....=p

Dear readers, u all can try out the rap, but pls adjust ur Tempo, this is not the kind of rap u hear in hard-core hip hop songs. An adjustable tempo would be something like tt of Jay Chou's Fa Ru Xue, the part where the song abt to end, yup tt kind of a tempo... Another suitable tempo may be tt of Energy's Mou Nian Mou Yue Mou Yi Tian.

Dunno how the rap sounds to u ppl, but it seems okay to me lah, when i tried out a little, got rhythm lei, but anyway first try, so yup, do give a little comments, Thanks lots to all =)

End of Entry

一个人生活

凌晨时分，疲惫的身躯拖着沉重的脚步，一步步走向那熟悉的房子。一栋被开启的房子，飘逸着某人遗留下的香味。卸下沉重的包袱，我躺在沙发上，回想起那甜美的笑容，聆听着正在播放的演奏曲；Canon. 这首曲子依然继续播放着，我解开领带，脱掉长袖上衣。真可笑，我其实不适合穿长袖上衣、打领带，却还是选择了一份必须如此穿着的工作。人生想必就是如此无奈吧！就象不论思念有多深，在远方的某一个人亦不会感应到吧？

走进浴室，看到镜子里的我，我却认不出那就是我。热水的蒸气在镜子上凝结成水，随着地心吸引力往下流，在白茫茫的朦胧中，我仿佛见到那熟悉的身影。后知后觉，我知道那个人是不会出现的。没有她的日子，这间被开启的房子显得很空洞，我的生活亦失去了色彩。镜子里的那个人仿佛就像个折翼的堕落天使。。。

原来要从天堂坠落是这么一回事。在这孤寂的夜里，陪伴着我的只有那架点唱机。穿着白色衬衫，懒散地躺在沙发上，疲惫却毫无睡意。手里的那杯红酒还没喝完，音乐也还没停止。繁忙的工作只为了填满内心深处的孤寂，单独地活着，仿佛天地间再也没有任何事和我有关。思念能否飞越海洋？杯子被倒翻，杯里的红酒流了出来，渗透了白色衬衫，看起来就像是性命垂危的伤者，奄奄一息；就让我沉沦于深海，犹如堕落天使沉沦于地狱。。。

凌晨即将结束，曙光渐显时，又将会是忙碌的一天，而当我回到这间房子时，一切都会重复，直至她回来，而那时候到底。。。

Every night i stay up in the lonely night,
looking into the sky, wishing u were by my side.
Baby, will u please come back, my love.....

Where are u tonight? I really wish to hold u tight.
The days without you, i start to breakdown and cry....

Every night i've been living without a heart,
hoping that Heaven don't tear us apart,
Till the end of time, Loving you isn't a crime...

An entry Tribute to my fellow frenz

Time is June 06, time has passed lots, its been 3 yrs ever since Shin-13 ppl grad from NHSS. Time really pass damn fast huh, I can really look back to the time when we ppl worry for NHDS in SYF 05, then we were at WestCoast Park till 4 am discussing abt how NHDS shld proceed in the future.... Haha, now come to think of it, we were really so concerned... a bunch of NHSS grads staying up late on fri night aft dance prac, go makan, then go talk cock, in the end talk abt NHDS can talk till 4 am... haha, siao one....

Well, at least i say i m not as concerned for NHDS now, cos i find it rather hopeless, i feel i cant help much liao, I m too old 4 them, the task pass on the Weihong & gang go do ba...

Time flies, i cant do anything to stop it, all i can say is tt time makes human beings seem so small, so helpless, so insignificant...

Well, this entry is to u guys out there, who juz entered NS. now the bulk of u except the poly studs, haf entered NS, latest being Zhenyu who juz did so on Fri =) Well, the past 3 yrs its fun getting to know u all. Enjoy ur 2 yrs of break from all the academic studies' demand. enjoy life ba... Any probs feel free to come ask me abt it... =)

All the best to u frenz out there; Zhiyan, Zhenyu, Sam, Maorong.... Despite all the fatigue u all may encounter in NS, still hope tt some days we can meet for a decent dinner, not those hastily arranged ones... =)

Cheers!

End of entry

Tattoo 2 Foreword

Juz completed another essay.. I enjoyed the process alot.. Didnt know tt essays could be completed in such a way as well.. Dear readers, pls take a look at the 'new' essay Tattoo2. If u haf read the previous work(Tattoo), u shld realize something by now (similar yet different). Well, i really enjoyed the process cos i didnt know an essay can be completed in such a way like i did.

It was experimental, i dunno how my readers will react so friends pls feel free to comment, this idea flashed past my mind when i was on my way home alone on the bus. nothing to do so let my mind run wild, suddenly thot of trying an interesting experiment. =) It shows tt an essay doesn't haf to be written from top to bottom.

Well, the same issue applies, if u dun understand my essay, pls refer to the previous foreword (entry dtd 4th Apr) for the original work 'Tattoo'. Tt foreword mentions how this particualr essay may be read/ interpreted.

Haha, so happy, juz like as though i re-choreographed a dance, old yet new... Didnt know it can apply to writing essays as well... =)

End of foreword

刺青 (续集)

孤寂的夜晚，寒风不停地吹，我踏进冷清清的房子，卸下一天的疲惫。走进这看似熟悉却又陌生的客厅，在你最喜欢的沙发坐了下来。随着便播放了你最喜爱的那一首歌。房间里还摆放着你最喜欢的白玫瑰。过往那些零零碎碎的片段亦逐渐一一浮现在我眼前。。。

画面中的我们充满著甜蜜、洋溢着幸福。画面里有欢笑，有泪水，有快乐，有悲伤，有着我们的点点滴滴。无奈已经时过境迁，此景不再，假如这一切都能重演的话。。。

在路上行驶，景色迅速从眼前晃过，树叶簌簌飘落，你仿佛就坐在我身边。夜景那么迷人，既可以慰藉孤寂的心，却也令人更容易染上孤寂之感。我怀念那段你常依偎在我怀里的日子。。。

独自漫步在海滩上，阵阵海风迎面吹来。今夜的星空单调暗淡，与我的步伐不谋而合。走在沙滩上，只听见浪声频频。。。

对你的想念从来没间断，看着房子的每一个角落，都遗留着你的香味，你的残影。即使我再怎么努力，我都没法将你忘掉，为甚么？是否因为我们彼此之间的距离不会因时间的流逝而有所改变？我忘不了你。。。

此时孤影无人相依偎，没有乘客的巴士显得冷清，空调格外地冷。你不在身边，已无人挽着我的手。我身边的坐位空了，人影消失了。一排一排的街灯照亮着马路，却照亮不着我心中的旅途。路上没有行人也没有其他车辆，我仿佛处于一座孤城，在这个悲情城市里来来回回。。。

浪声频频，海风阵阵，不知你现在是否在颤抖 ？在这冰冷的夜晚，不停颤抖的你是否需要我在身旁？还记得当一切开始时，就是你让我心里泛起涟漪，像是海上那绵绵不断的浪涛。我一直想与你在海滩上漫步，因为海洋似乎能够洗涤心灵，希望面对着海洋时，你那疲惫不堪的身心能够得到平静。。。

在这繁忙拥挤的都市里，若我不小心遇见了你，我大概会笑着对你说，你好我很忙；但这一切其实都只是表面话而已。我真的没有把握，万一眼泪不自觉地流下，落在那早已凋谢的白玫瑰，万一泪珠在白玫瑰上凝结。。。

此时你是否也在某辆车上，单独地踏上归途？ 你身边的坐位是否也空着？在这漫长的路途中，你是否想起了从前？从前常坐在身旁的那个人？欲哭无泪，仍然心疼你。。。
在房子里徘徊，漫无目的徘徊着，一份莫名的悲伤在空中弥漫着，我也不知心中是何滋味？我只是清晰地感受到心中一阵阵的绞痛，这一份绞结似乎将心给绞碎了，一种麻麻而又酸酸的感觉，让我呼吸不顺畅，仿佛缺氧快要窒息。那遗留下来的香味，搁浅着的照片，未删除的简讯，都是一些忘不了的记忆。。。

繁忙的都市，庸庸碌碌的生活，淡如水的交情，面对着最熟悉的陌生人，你好我很忙。我真的没有把握，万一我真的恨你恨得说不出话，万一心仍在淌着血，血珠滴落在那早已凋谢的白玫瑰，染红那纯白的花瓣；心好痛。。。

在黑夜的这个旅程我不知道会在哪里下车，也不知终点在哪里。途中会否有人上车填满我身边的坐位，我亦不知晓。漫长的黑夜，毫无终止的车程，一排排的街灯陆续从身边晃过，显得越来越渺小；一切仍持续着，你已远去。。。

在厨房泡了一杯咖啡，记得怕苦的你总会加上许多的白糖。为什么我还记得？你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍；无论我今后和谁在一起，都无法忘记你。我不怕离开你，只是不知离开你是否能使我忘了你？

早已远去的你，我已无法在这片情海里寻觅 。即使我再怎么用心，再怎么舍不得你，一切都已消失于情海之中；就让我沉溺于无边无际的深海里，沉溺于过去的记忆，沉溺于你的温柔，永远不再醒来，永远~~~~~~~~~~~

在这个都市，人来人往，所有人都与我擦肩而过。你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍；即使我今后和别人在一起，都无法忘记你。看着你忧郁重重的双眼，心中的绞痛更是挥之不去。为何你离开了我却没有得到幸福？心疼你离去之后没有得到幸福，离去之后仍没找到理想的天堂。请你过得比我幸福好吗？日子一天一天地过去，眼泪一直不停地流，心痛的感觉依然持续不断。。。

在浴室里面对着镜子，我仿佛又看到了你的影子。你呢？是否也常透过玻璃窗看到我？我好怕，真的好害怕。你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍；害怕纵使你今后和别人在一起，都无法忘记我。。。若能减轻你内心的痛，减轻那份麻麻而又酸酸的感觉，我情愿你失去这个刺青。

你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍、无法舍弃、无法装做不存在；即使我今后和别人在一起，都无法忘记你。。。
若你真的爱过我，不妨在夜阑人静的时候，看着窗外的绵绵细雨，偶尔想想我。。。

Thots aft viewing I NotStupid 2

Continued from part1, the next thing the movie over-simplifies is the fact tt living alone is diff from living together. What i mean is: it emphasizes so much on individuals, tt teenagers empthasize with e character in the movie as it is so 'real' a replication of themselves. Hence they may become so happy and involved in themselves, they neglect what is ard them. Many of the teenagers today cannot live in grps. Take NHDS for eg. so many of them dun come for practice simply becos they 'today no mood to dance' which is so inconsiderate. Cant they juz understand tt every absentee brings about so much implications for every1?

Next, they cant work with one another simply becos they bu shuang. Unable to put aside their differences, they fail to excel as a grp. Only work with ppl whom they like, or can click. This movie has the tendency (not absolute though) to make teenagers even more self-centred, as they now r more aware of their own situation/ status in the society. Every1 in the edu systm is commenting on: how to treat students better, how to make facilities better, make life better for them, less stressful etc. Well, i dun comment on whether tt is e correct direction we shld head towards, but undeniable fact is tt all our teenagaers will continue to live in their own world, and eventually may be unable to live in a grp which consists of many diff types of ppl.

In the army, workplace, clubs/ societies, there bound to be differences among ppl who r trying to accomplish a similar goal via their own methods. If teenagers are unable to put aside all those vitiating factors, they cannot work as a grp. The above sentence esp applies to the current NHDS and i believe the future NHDS as well.... =(

Okie, enough of all these... Lastly i wish to end by saying tt, hopefully i brought out another viewpt to all audiences of INS2 so tt every1 does not get swayed by the movie which is in a certain way, too commercialized with "ulterior" motives. Well, though i studied theatre & cinema studies in Uni, i dun wish to bore all readers with the technical stuff. Next time when i more free, maybe i will post another entry simply on technical stuff =)

Meanwhile, pls feel free to continue comment on my entry. wanna blast me down oso can...
Lets haf an active discussion =)

End of part 2

Thots aft viewing I NotStupid 2

Juz watched INS2 directed byJack Neo. As claimed by the media, it is a touching movie. Well, but to me, its not tt a good movie aft all... I m not criticising the movie, but my opinion of the movie is tt it is over-simplified, neglects many factors, over-emphasizes on unnecessary things and even exploits the human softness for e so-called pitiful ppl. Dun believe? juz read on...

The show touches many hearts on the part tt many teenagers feel they do not get their parents' understanding, and the part on teachers looking down on students wif poor grades. Therefore teenagers end up being lonely etc. DO u all start to see that the movie is directed in such a way, it makes u, the audience, start to empthaize with the teenagers? This is what i mean by exploiting the audience's hearts. A similar eg would be the showcase of Patients' life during NKF charity shows. Those video clips touch our hearts, but eventually it is disappointing to know tt our $$ went to unnecessary things like the Golden Tap.

Dear readers, pls take a neutral look at INS2 again. U will realize many of the things tt r portraited in the movie are over-simplified, over-emphasized. For instance, INS2 talk so much abt parents working and neglecting children. well, look on the other side of the coin. Teenagers nowadays have so much luxury goods tt they become a necessity. They have iPods, New Hp every now & then, New bags, new clothes. And mind u, all these r bought within a time period of few weeks...(not like CNY need to buy new clothes etc) If parents dun work till mad, how to afford all these luxury goods? Dun believe me? Go Visit blogs of many sec sch kids and take a look at their wishlist/ blog entries. U realize they go shopping almost every week (not window shopping hor). They exclaim that they juz bought how many new tops or bags again. So now, tell me, is it parents' fault?

Hello, close frenz ard me know tt i recently then buy mp3 player, & i still using Discman. All these luxury goods were bought using my own $$. so there is a diff. And i dun deny the fact, tt got ppl even poor till discman oso cannot buy. Yup, so what r those kids in INS2 complaining abt? Haf they ever think in the shoes of their parents?

U may be thinking tt I m speaking too much on behalf of parents, Yes i am, becos the movie is too skewed towards the teenagers, i m bringing in another viewpt to hope tt audience dun get swayed in your views regarding the truth in our teenagers today. The movie overemphasizes too much liao.

Next, over-simplification of facts. In the movie, u see so much of public canning issue, the dialogues of the movie all stand in the side of teenagers. Well, let me tell u some of the events i seen in sec sch nowadays. Not ABSOLUTE tt those canned will live with shame. Nowadays, i DUNNO the word 'shame' has how much weightage in teenagers' hearts. Frenz ard me, esp NH dancers, do u agree with me tt how come recently 2 yrs NH dancers AS IF frequently get canned publicly in sch? NHDS kanna whacked by almost all teachers in NHSS for discipline issues? Why? Arent they sad/ ashamed tt NHDS 's reputation is going down the drain? Not ashamed tt a dancer no longer has standing status in NHSS? Yet they can still continue their nonsense. Is the society not giving them 2nd chance? Is it the sch's fault? well, no abosolute ans, think again, and of cos, watch INS2 again...

By now, u may haf realized tt there r many issues tt r hanging with no abosolute ans. I trying to balance the whole issue cos INS2 is too one-sided.. why not think again? So many ppl see liao say they r touched, adults interviewed say they will reflect on their own actions, while teenagers interviewed simply expressed their happiness tt some1 is finally speaking up 4 them.. Then who will speak up for the adults? (ie. Teachers, parents, etc) Pls lah, forget all ur Fila/ Adidas Bags, Clothes, iPods, Laptops etc lah b4 u try to play down ur parents again.... =(

I wish to write alot more but this entry is getting long so may be i continue as a separate entry another day....
Dear frenz, pls leave ur comments, i appreciate a discussion on this =)

End of part 1

MY inner thots regarding NHDS '06 batch

Time is May 1 '06, read lots of entries in the Nhds blog regarding their speech day perf and all the issues that happened. Got lots of thots, actually wanted to post an entry there one, but decided to update my own blog instead... =(

Its damn siao lor... Well, anyway i v sian abt what is happening in nhds liao. actually oso v sian abt things in DI, all the dancers tt go there no longer haf passion abt dancing liao... dunno they go there for what, in the end go there piss mr low off only, make him more disappointed as the days pass by...

Jeffrey jio me choreograph a dance together, so well, i dunno how many ppl interested to join us but i extend the invitation here, anyone interested can just declare.. =)

So why did i bring in Jeffrey? simple, cos the issue here is its so freaking difficult to find ppl who r of the same interests as u.. Recently heard from Sam and zhenyu, ppl from the shin-13 oso not as close liao, its v saddening to hear all these.. take a look at those Superband contestants, i m so envy of them, not envy of their skills or what, but their ability to manage to find ppl who r as enthu as them... U see in NTU, DI, or even NHDS, how to find ppl who r as enthu (not necessary in dance but in things like wilingness to attend outings etc) as u?

The issue here is v sian cos nhds ppl dun cherish their abundant choice in sch... In such a big society, u can find ppl of similar interests more easily than in other places. (assuming citeris paribus) They got such a big grp, if they can act together, they can be a formidable opponent in SYF 07. Like what so many ppl commented b4, i oso say again, NHDS is really collapsing, damn demoralising.. The place i grew up in was not like this, and ain't supposed to like this anyway, ( since the instructor didnt change). His methods of teaching/educating students into dancers is still the same...

Dancing isnt supposed to be lidat... Its supposed to be something which u put ur heart into by rehearsing, pracising over & over again, showcase whatever talent/ creativity u haf, try to connect to ur audience and touch their hearts... tt is really how i think it should be... If dun achieve any of the points mentioned above, then might as well dun perform? Go dance at home in bathroom lah, or go disco pubs dance can attract attention somemore.. =( Dancing in a grp can really foster good friendships one, why cant nhds ppl buy that point? Dancing solo has a diff connotation, so it doesnt apply in this case.

Argh.... Sianz.. Siao liao, dun feel like writing anymore, oso dunno what i writing... =(

Tattoo - Foreword

Juz completed an essay.. started doing it this afternoon. This essay is titled Tattoo. I like this title v much. Y tattoo? is it becos tattoo is something tt is originally not part of us but suddenly gels into our lives juz like ppl special in our lives? Ppl originally did not know each other, but becos of fate or destiny, they get to meet and get along, eventually gel into each other's lives and become an integral part of it... Rings a bell? does tt apply to u as well?

Dear readers, feel free to comment on this essay. This essay is extremely diff in nature as compared to my previous works, so readers may find it hard to understand what i writing if u read it the conventional way. For readers who r not used to reading/ interpreting abstract art, i offer a little guidance as to how u can read my essay if u EAGER to know what the hell i m toking abt... Juz take note of the alternate paragraphs, breakdown them alternately to read what is going on, and piece them back together later. U will then understand it..

For other readers interested in watching a movie/film instead, read my essay in terms of Camera Cuts. Take every paragraph as a camera cut and shift of scene, then u will be able to link the story urself... =)

but of course, whichever approach u take in interpreting my story, u will still realize tt much is left unsaid. well, tt is for u to fill it in becos by filling in ur own story into the skeleton i haf set up, u may be able to feel more for this essay... =)

so, enjoy reading, and pls leave ur comments, thank u

End of entry

It rained today........

刺青

孤寂的夜晚，寒风不停地吹，我踏进冷清清的房子，卸下一天的疲惫。走进这看似熟悉却又陌生的客厅，在你最喜欢的沙发坐了下来。随着便播放了你最喜爱的那一首歌。房间里还摆放着你最喜欢的白玫瑰。过往那些零零碎碎的片段亦逐渐一一浮现在我眼前。。。

画面中的我们充满著甜蜜、洋溢着幸福。画面里有欢笑，有泪水，有快乐，有悲伤，有着我们的点点滴滴。无奈已经时过境迁，此景不再，假如这一切都能重演的话。。。

对你的想念从来没间断，看着房子的每一个角落，都遗留着你的香味，你的残影。即使我再怎么努力，我都没法将你忘掉，为甚么？是否因为我们彼此之间的距离不会因时间的流逝而有所改变？我忘不了你。。。

在这繁忙拥挤的都市里，若我不小心遇见了你，我大概会笑着对你说，你好我很忙；但这一切其实都只是表面话而已。我真的没有把握，万一眼泪不自觉地流下，落在那早已凋谢的白玫瑰，万一泪珠在白玫瑰上凝结。。。

在房子里徘徊，漫无目的徘徊着，一份莫名的悲伤在空中弥漫着，我也不知心中是何滋味？我只是清晰地感受到心中一阵阵的绞痛，这一份绞结似乎将心给绞碎了，一种麻麻而又酸酸的感觉，让我呼吸不顺畅，仿佛缺氧快要窒息。那遗留下来的香味，搁浅着的照片，未删除的简讯，都是一些忘不了的记忆。。。

繁忙的都市，庸庸碌碌的生活，淡如水的交情，我很忙。我真的没有把握，万一我真的恨你恨得说不出话，万一心仍在淌着血，血珠滴落在那早已凋谢的白玫瑰，染红那纯白的花瓣；心好痛。。。

在厨房泡了一杯咖啡，记得怕苦的你总会加上许多的白糖。为什么我还记得？你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍；无论我今后和谁在一起，都无法忘记你。我不怕离开你，只是不知离开你是否能使我忘了你？

在这个都市，人来人往，所有人都与我擦肩而过。你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍；即使我今后和别人在一起，都无法忘记你。看着你忧郁重重的双眼，心中的绞痛更是挥之不去。为何你离开了我却没有得到幸福？心疼你离去之后没有得到幸福，离去之后仍没找到理想的天堂。请你过得比我幸福好吗？日子一天一天地过去，眼泪一直不停地流，心痛的感觉依然持续不断。。。

在浴室里面对着镜子，我仿佛又看到了你的影子。你呢？是否也常透过玻璃窗看到我？我好怕，真的好害怕。你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍；害怕纵使你今后和别人在一起，都无法忘记我。。。若能减轻你内心的痛，减轻那份麻麻而又酸酸的感觉，我情愿你失去这个刺青。

你犹如刺青，像我的另一半，无法割舍、无法舍弃、无法装做不存在；即使我今后和别人在一起，都无法忘记你。。。
若你真的爱过我，不妨在夜阑人静的时候，看着窗外的绵绵细雨，偶尔想想我。。。

Read lots of blogs from other sources
How come dancing become like tt?

Time is 12 Mar '06, I supposed to be doing tutorials & rushing proj but i end up blogging... Maybe becos too stressed, so found ways to de-stress a little... As usual visit all the blogs which i can find...

Read interesting things or rather, NOT so interesting things abt dance.. From many ppl's blogs, i gather info/ feedback tt they v happy to participate in Dance in Unity 2006 AKA He Wu Gong Ming. Well, on one hand, the entries expressed their self-proclaimed passion and interest for dance, on the other hand, they mentioned tt they didnt enjoy it due to the politics involved in DI. Maybe they r referring to me, maybe to others, i dunno. But i really think its kinda ironic; If u all proclaim to be passionate in dance, den it shouldnt hurt to practise ur dance steps, turn up for practices punctually, listen to instructions to help make the completion of tasks more efficient... If all these were done willingly & automatically with initiatives, there wont be any unhappiness.. By right, u dun need any supervisor eg. like me to go ard telling u to prac ur steps, it shouldnt be e case where dancers come to DI den juz sit/sleep ard, chit chat w/o any contribution at all... Mind you, u r preparing for a perf..

Dancing is a simple thing, why complicate it? I reckon tt ppl spread malicious remarks abt those who give out instructions. Pls lah, dun be childish, every1 can help in DI as long as u want. nobody is bringing in any politics. If u simply yearn to be the person giving out instructions, volunteer to be leader for the perf lah, aft all DI appoints leaders on event basis. If u dun wish to help, then be kind to those who volunteer to help, stop spreading malicious remarks abt them. It's on ur part tt u dun wish to cooperate, dun malign others to be guilty of bringing in politics into DI. Wah kau, anyone unhappy can simply go verify with Mr Low, c what kind of comments he give u? ask him DI gt politics or not? Bottomline, if u dislike the situation in DI so much, why come?

Maybe i m old, i seriously wonder what kind of thots students nowadays haf? Nowadays, volunteering to help becomes equivalent to 'trying to act big' or 'Playing politics again'. Sigh, all these comments are so childish =( if u unhappy wif the instructions, challenge him lah, then discuss and decide on a way to complete the task most efficiently...
This is the case in NHDS now lor. Nobody volunteers to do anything becos of e malicious remarks tt may surface, therefore nothing gets done. Everyone withdraws from completing tasks, everything is in a mess. Those holding leadership posts do nothing, the rest dun volunteer to assist for fear of losing friends.... What kind of friendship exists nowdays? The moment u step up as the exco committee, u lose friends... WTH? those also called friends meh?

Tired of writing... Got lots more to say but damn sianz liao.... DI lidat, NHDS oso lidat...

Stop

NYJC Drama Perf 我们的白云岗 06

Well, time is 5 Mar Midnight, i juz returned from NYJC. Went there to watch their drama concert called 我们的白云岗, the equivalent of SAJC's 阳光幼苗, which is actually plays put up by students from their sch's respective Chinese societies. Its a yearly event in their sch and apparently Yiting is in NYJC involved in this production, so she asked me, den i say okie lor, aft all the tickets $8 only.

I went there and watched the 2 plays put up. Sorry to all readers, if u r not interested in Theatre & Drama, u will find the following content v boring cos i m going to critique and analyze the NYJC works. So if its not ur interests, u may stop reading, sorry abt it... =)
Cos its my interests to critique plays/dances/movies etc whenever i finish watching a perf.
N/B: Is critique & analyze, NOT criticise, its diff, pls get this clear...

There r two plays: 很狠爱、身边
The 1st play is relatively poor and has commited some common mistakes in Drama. Becos 1st one was not so good, the 2nd one aft the intermission, lifted the audiences' moods, and i felt my $4 well-spent aft watching the 2nd play. =)

A common mistake tt all school plays commit is tt students tend to revolve ONLY ard family, studies & BGR issues, having watched so many plays in my life, i felt a little bored... Honestly, tt was my personal opinion but sch plays always like tt.. Take note of my point the next time U step into a school drama perf & u will really notice it. Next, they r always staging plays of the Naturalistic Theatre aka Theatre of Realism (these r technical terms). This is so even in NTU & NUS. =( I dun expect students in sch to stage Avant-Garde plays but at least can try some alternatives like Poor Theatre/ Forum Theatre/ Absurd Theatre? Esp genres like Poor and Forum are v popular in Singapore now, why dun students try? Why dun teachers encourage as well? Juz try, aft all, theatre is a place for creativity. Cut off the Naturalistic Theatre, i mean every sch is putting up the same type of theatres, dun u wanna differentiate urself?

Next, the pitfall of Naturalistic Theatre. If u wish to put up a play of Naturalistic genre, Get the fundamentals and critical success factors (CSF) right. A play of such genre requires CSFs such as an FULLY-dveloped plot, well-written sentences with high literature value. Well, sad to say but the 1st play didn't get these factors. It's plot was half-developed and left audiences guessing to the extent tt they didnt even know the play ended... The dialogue was not impressive. It was too verbal with little/ no literature value.

Yes, it can be argued tt the playwirght wanted audience to haf freedom in their interpretation hence deliberately didnt want to develop the plot. But tt is where the pitfall is: U r not staging Avant Garde theatres, u haf to take care of the CSFs if u want to stage such a play genre. Develop the dialogues, dun leave audience guessing.. U can reveal e plot via a more subtle way but no guessing... For this pt, 2nd play did better than 1st play. There were so many audiences who were thrown off the 1st play tt they starting talking among themselves. (a rude thing to do during perf anyway, not respecting e performers at all)
The lessons here: Be sure what genre u are staging, what u wish to achieve out of this perf.
CSFs are CSFs, they cannot be ignored. Eg. if u r staging Poor Theatre, ensure tt ur actors r well-trained in movement and body expressions, cos Movement is the CSF of PT.

Next pitfall of both plays, there is too much scene cuts. House lights switch off/on too frequently, bringing too much disruptions to the advance of the plays. Each lightout is approx 20sec which is actually v long for a lightout. On top of tt, these lightouts are not due to the exchange of props/ change of costumes. Which means the lightouts can be done away with. (Esp more so if it was just to signify a change from Act1 to Act2) In Naturalistic Theatre, lightouts are minimal as they r considered disruptive.

Lastly one of the fatal pitfalls, Actors' usage of stage space is too limited and constraint. The decor of the stage occupied half the stage, and actors only act in e other half, didn't effectively explore the space on stage. For this pt, 2nd play did better than 1st play.
eg. Forestage Left is home, centre back is sch, forestage right is home dining table. Thereby when the actor leaves home from the left, he walks to centre back to attend sch, comes back home and walks to forestage Right to haf dinner. There is more utilization of space.

The lesson here: Actors dun juz act in the frontal stage, realize tt the entire stage is a 3-D space for u to explore. The tools for an Actor in Drama & Theatre is his body, his voice, his senses, his stage. Make full use of the stage.

Overall it was a commendable effort but can be improved. Sch plays usually make these similar mistakes so its not exclusive to NYJC only. I sincerely hope to see more theatres of other genres put up during sch performances......

Wah piang this entry took me 2 hrs =p

End of Entry